


How Did I Survive So Long Without You

by Wholeheartedly755



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2018 Era (Phandom), Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Bruises, Bullying, Crushes, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Depressed Dan Howell, Developing Relationship, Drunken Flirting, First Kiss, Gay, Gay Dan Howell, Gay Phil Lester, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Male Homosexuality, POV Dan Howell, POV Phil Lester, Panic Attacks, Popular Phil Lester, Sad, Shy Dan Howell, Slow Burn, Sub Dan Howell, Top Phil Lester, Triggers, Underage Drinking, establishing a relationship, kinda slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-06-11 03:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15306324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wholeheartedly755/pseuds/Wholeheartedly755
Summary: Daniel Howell is a shy incoming Year 10 student to his town's secondary school, his mother is a single alcoholic who is verbally and physically abusive to her son. To Dan school is his escape, but starting a new secondary school is most definitely a scary prospect, but he hopes he can make the best of it and to hopefully make a friend.Phil Lester is a very attractive Year 13 student who hates the attention he gets from all the girls at his school.When Dan realizes he has the locker right next to the most attractive guy at school, and Phil sees the beautiful, shy Dan walking towards him, who knows what could happen.Follow these two as they battle through the ups and downs of school together.





	1. A New School, A New World

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you like this, this is my first phan fiction so sorry if I don't quite get the British slang right, and sorry if there are some grammatical errors is certain places, i am writing this on a phone so I will try my best, I hope you enjoy!

**Dan's POV**

 

     Dan hears a faint ringing in the back of his blank dream that threatens to bring him back to the reality that is his life. Dan can hear it getting louder as if it is approaching him from behind. All of a sudden he opens his eyes to this familiar sound and looks to the night stand before lightly grunting and pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock. It reads 7:15. 

     Dan sits up in the sudden realization that it is the first day of school. Suddenly all his anxiety and fear from the previous day comes rushing back to him. He shivers at the fact that he will have to start new at this school. Its not like Dan had made  friends at his other school but at least he could quietly lurk without people bothering him, now he will be new, going into his 10th year. 'I guess one good thing is this school doesnt have uniforms like my other,' Dan thinks. 

     Dan tries to calm down and stand up, luckily his mum wasn't awake yet, hopefully she doesn't wake up till after he leave, he hopes, I dont want to deal with her right now. He walks to his closet and grabs out a plain black shirt and black skinny jeans, hoping to just blend in.

     He picks up his backpack in a swift movement, having packed everything he would need the night before and quietly opened his door. He creeped to the toilet so he could fix his hair and go to the loo. Once he was done messing with his curly brown hair, he decided to head out, walking to his school.

     Dan tried not to think about being new, he tried to force his anxiety away but it was no use. He didn't know what was worse, putting up with his mum's drunken rage or having to face the unknown of his secondary school. 

     The walk to his school was about a 10 minute walk, making it about 7:40 as the huge looming school became in sight, now it was just down the street.

     Dan just had to make his legs walk 100 more meters and he would be at the entrance. Yet, his legs felt like jelly, they wanted to collapse as his heart pounded out of his chest and his social anxiety loomed over him like a cloud. 

     Even though he felt all this, his legs were able to make it to the entrance of the two story brick red building. He felt himself calm alittle as the deed of geeting there was now done. 

     There was a small table set up outside the main entrance with a woman around her mid 40's sitting behind it. The table read "schedules and locker numbers". Dan walked over to the women and she smiled at him and said "Hello, my name is Mrs. White, what is your name so I can grab your stuff?" 

     "Daniel Howell," he responded.

     "Howell... Herrit...Howard... ah here! Howell," She said handing my two pieces of paper, "Your lucky, your locker is 253 and is on your left hand side right as you enter, you shouldn't have any trouble finding it."

     Dan smiled and thanked her, walking towards the black rimmed door that marked the entrance. He took a breath and pushed it open and was automatically bombarded with noise upon stepping inside.

     He sighed and looked to the lockers on his right, they were all labeled in the 100's, before he could turn to his left he heard the doors open behind him and he turned to see a beautiful guy with jet black hair and eyes that swirled deep bright blue like the sea.

     From behind him he heard three girls talking.

     "Oh my, there is Phil Lester, can you believe he is in year 13 now!" One squealed.

     "I know! He is by far the cutest guy at this entire school!" Another acknowledged.

     "I hope this year I can finally work up the courage to ask him to a dance!" The last said.

     "There is no way he could turn you down Crystal, you are the prettiest girl here," the first girl said to the last.

     "I don't know, out of all our years here I don't think I have seen Phil with any girl," the second girl added.

     They all started muttering after, saying things like "what a shame," and "he just hasn't been asked out by the right girl,". 

     Dan watched as the guy... Phil walked down the hall slightly to get to his locker. He truly was handsome and Dan felt his face flush as he stared forgetting all he was doing till the three girls from behind him started walking, one shoving him to the side as they all giggled away.

     This is what brought Dan back to his senses as he began to walk down this hall a bit, surveying the left row of lockers for 253.

     As he stared getting closer to the 250's he realized that he was getting awfully close to Phil and his cheeks began to go slightly pink. 

     He just kept following the lockers to find himself at locker 248, he looked up to the open locker in front of him... 254.

     He looked to the person inhabiting 254 and saw Phil. The black haired beauty holding onto it, taking things out of his backpack and setting the things he didn't need inside. 

     Dan's heart skipped a beat and fear and excitement filled his limbs. At that moment Phil turned his head and the two made eye contact.

     Dan knew he had to just walk up to his locker and open it to avoid looking more like a creep than he thought he already did.

     He was now infront of his locker and checked his card to find the combination. He could feel Phil's eyes still on him and he knew his face was becoming redder as he fumbled with the lock. 

     When his locker opened he looked up at Phil who was smiling.

     "So this is your locker?" Phil said and before I could answer he added, "Oh my, i'm so foolish of course it is, I don't know what i'm thinking, sorry mate. I mean, looks like we are gonna be seeing eachother alot then," he finished with a smile.

     Dan could tell Phil was just as socially awkward as him and it made him smile, it made Phil ten times cuter than he already was.

     "Uh... yeah guess so, I'm Dan," Dan muttered.

     "I'm Phil! Are you new here, you seemed alittle lost walking up," he said.

     "Yeah, I am, I'm a Tenth year, I used to go to a different secondary school but we moved this summer," Dan explained.

     "Tenth year? Wow mate you seem older than that, you're pretty tall for your age huh?" Phil responded.

     "Yeah I get that alot." He mumbled.

     "Well, I know this place like the back of my hand so if you would like me to show you around, and to your classes I would be totally happy to!" Phil said excitedly.

     "Well... actually that would be great, Thanks!" He said.

     When Phil said this, Dan's heart did a dance and Dan had to remind himself Phil was only being nice and this meant nothing. Other than maybe a new friend if he was lucky.

      "Great! What is your first class?" Phil asked.

     "Mr. Dawhawlkins," he said.

      "Mate thats great, he is a great teacher you'll like him, come on, follow me I'll show you," Phil said moving a bit closer to him.

     Phil's voice was a bit deep and sounded a bit northern with some words and Dan wondered if he moved here from the north. Dan fished his stuff from his bag fast and turned to face Phil who was now behind him waiting for Dan to follow. 

     They began their journey down the hall as Dan followed Phil. It was too soon when they were already at his class.

     Phil turned to face Dan in the hallway, maybe standing a little to close to Dan and began saying, "Well here you are, I will see you later to show you your next class!" He smiled and gave a cheeky wink and turned and walked off.

     Dan just smiled before seeing all the girls who had been staring hearing one say, "Awe Phil is so sweet, showing a tenth year to his class, but I want him to show me to my class, it's not fair, why doesn't he notice me," she pouted and Dan just rolled his eyes.

     He walked and sat down and that was that, his mind drifted to how he could feel Phils breathe just slightly as he said goodbye and he couldn't wait to see him after class and Dan could feel himself falling for someone he could never have.


	2. Lunch Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few more classes it is finally lunch and Dan gets to spend it with Phil.

**Dan's POV**

 

     After a long 58 minutes of handing out papers, going over rules and agendas, and day dreaming, class finally ended. Dan is pleasantly surprised, as Phil had been right, and Mr. Dawhawkins actually did seem like a good teacher, either way Dan wasn't that fond of math classes in general, but at least this one seemed decent. He grabbed his pencil, folder, and textbook and headed to his locker which thankfully wasn't too far away.

     He turned left at the corner of the hall to be met by a long hall of lockers and people. It wasn't that long of a walk from here to get to his locker, yet when he looked over to where his locker once was, his gaze was met by a swarm of 4 girls who were awfully close, and crowding Phil. He decided to just keep walking over to where his locker was, which was annoyingly half covered by a girl leaning against it pushing close up against Phil. 

     In the back of his head he felt a slight tinge of jealousy seeing all those girls so close to Phil, with so many girls wanting to be with him, it genuinely surprised Dan that Phil did not already have a girlfriend. He wasn't going to admit it, but he was happy that Phil had choose to not get with any of these girls.

     When he finally approached his plain grey locker, he could see the crushing uncomfortable look in Phil's bright blue eyes. Phil laughed an obviously fake laugh at one of the girl's jokes, but god even when Phil faked a laugh it was still the most beautiful sound Dan had ever heard.

     Dan decided he would help Phil out, as he did, himself, want those girls gone as well as Phil, so Dan let out an loud cough to catch Phil's attention. Phil quickly gave Dan a huge relieved grin and began pushing through the girls so he could put an arm around Dan.

     "Oh would you look at that! Sorry girls but I already told Dan that I would show him around the school at lunch, so it looks like I won't be able to spend it with any of you! Maybe some other time... and would you look at the time, I have to get going to class, See Ya!" Phil exaggerated.

     The girls all whined and began to walk away from their lockers, one shot Phil a cheeky wink before turning and walking away. Phil slouched over onto his locker, letting go of his slight grip on his back, retreating his hand. The lost contact made Dan want to whine like the girl had moments before, but Dan restrained himself. 

     As Dan opened his locker he heard Phil sigh and say, "Ah Dan you totally saved me! They are always so crazy on this first day, like they missed me all summer or something."

     Dan let out a light laugh, "Yeah, also looks like you are stuck with me at lunch huh?"

     "Oh...uh I'm sorry it was the first excuse I could think of and I thought you might need a friend at lunch to show you around...I just assumed... Oh god I'm such an idiot aren't I. You don't have to if you don't want to, I totally understand," Phil rambled.

     Dan just smiled at Phil's red painted face and said, "No no no, that totally fine Phil, I didn't mean it like that, of course I need a friend here, I said it in a more 'Why would you want to spend your lunch with me of all people' kind of way."

     "Oh, okay I see, sorry for rambling on, I'm probably so annoying, so what's your next class?" Phil asked.

     Dan was placing his stuff back in his locker and grabbed his schedule out of his pocket and checked it for his second class of the day, history with Mrs. Val. Phil seemed to already be ready for his next class, as his locker had been closed and he was holding a folder in his right hand. 

     Dan closed his locker and turned to Phil who had been hovering behind him and said, "Mrs. Val, room 24."

    "Okay, lets see, this way," Phil said motioning to the right, down the hall they were in.

     This time as they walked Dan stood next to Phil, instead of slightly behind. Phil smiled as they walked and Dan tried not to stare, but Dan just couldn't believe one person's smile could lighten up a whole room. Phil wore this plaid blue, short sleeve button down and black skinny jeans much like his own. Dan was finally noticing all these little details about this figure next to him that he was developing a crush on. Like how Phil was slightly taller than him at this point, and how when he laughed he bit his tongue slightly to the side of his mouth. 

     Dan found himself smiling as well, as Phil led him to his class. When they arrived it went much like before, they said goodbye and Phil left to his class. Dan took a seat in the back and his mind wondered as his classmates filed in and they all waited for the teacher. It was this moment when Dan realized that ever since he started talking to Phil earlier this morning his anxiety has died down to almost nothing. He could still feel the slight pull of dread knocking on his brain, but he had been distracting himself from the feeling. 

     Of course when he was faced with talking to any one else he was just as awkward as ever as well, but when he spoke with Phil he felt so at home, like he was really being himself. He was falling for the guy he had just met less than 2 hours before this very moment, and it all felt so fast to Dan but at the same time it felt so right.

***

     After a few more conversations in the halls with Phil, many the same bants as before, and the rest of the boring classes Dan had sat through before lunch had passed and Dan had went to his locker to put his books back and meet up with Phil. When he got to his locker Phil was leaning up against his locker with a brown paper bag in his hand, which Dan could only assume was his lunch. Phil was staring and smiling at Dan as he approached and Dan just smiled back feeling his face heat up with those blue eyes staring at him. 

     Dan opened his locker and put his stuff he had from his last class back and closed his locker before facing the ever beautiful Phil. 

     "Did you not bring a lunch?" Phil asked.

     "No, I usually don't," Dan responded.

     "What, your mum doesn't make you a lunch?" Phil questioned.

     "No, she doesn't really... get up in the morning," Dan added.

     "Oh, well I can show you the cafeteria if you want to pick something up," Phil said, his grin returning to his face.

     "No, I'll just follow where ever you usually go, I'm not that hungry," Dan said.

     Phil looked a little concerned but he didn't question me anymore he just added, "Well then, follow me, I'll show you were I normally spend lunch."

     He had a smile on his, almost that of a smirk as he lead me through the halls and too a big set of doors. Dan was expecting him to lead him to a table with other guys that he was friends, but instead the doors lead to outside, he walked towards some bushes, then around them. There were trees surrounding the bushes, and hidden behind them was a bench. Completely covered from the other side because of the untrimmed bushes. Phil sat.

     "No one ever comes out here, everyone is so preoccupied with phones in the halls, I get peace out here away from all the girls who harass me for a number or a date," Phil added, patting beside him for Dan to sit.

     "It's nice out here, but can I ask you a question?" Dan said.

     "Sure mate," Phil answered.

     "Actually, it two. One, Why don't you like the attention all the girls give you? And two, Why bring me out here if you usually come out here alone, you didn't have to," Dan asked.

     " Well to answer your first question, I don't know, I'm sure lots of guys would like the attention, I just don't. Not my cup of tea I guess," Phil said causing Dan to question what he mean't by that last part, "And for the second, I have enjoyed talking to you in the halls, you don't seem like you want to be around me because my popularity and I could really use a friend like that, and I'm sure you would rather be with a friend than alone."

     Phil's answer made Dan smile, he was glad Phil thought of him as a friend so fast after meeting him, and after years of being lonely, this was a nice change. 

     " Yeah I get it, and thanks, I'm not really one to really get on with people, too socially awkward for anyone to want to be my friend," Dan added.

     "Well, I think you're fantastic, and I'm glad you got the locker right next to mine," Phil said, "And, would you like some of my lunch, you must be hungry."

      "No, really its fine," Dan said.

     Yet Phil persisted, Dan ended up with a quarter of Phil's sandwich and some orange slices as they talked the rest of the 40 minute lunch period.


	3. The Phone Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a couple last classes of the day, Dan gets a pleasant surprise right before he goes home.

 

**Dan's POV**

 

 

     After lunch ended, Phil and Dan walked back to their lockers to get ready for their next class. Dan felt a little sick after eating, but nothing to serious. He grabbed up some papers and a pencil for his next class which turned out to be an advanced drama class. When Dan saw this his anxiety came flooding through him. Sure he had taken drama at his last school, it was the one class he genuinely enjoyed, but was he seriously starting a new school in he advanced class.

     Dan could feel his breathing speeding up because he knew he would feel like such an outcast in this new class. His anxiety must have shown through his mannerisms as Phil then asked, "Hey, Dan are you okay? You look a little off."

     "Uh...yeah I'm fine," was the only thing Dan could respond with.

     "Are you sure? What class do you have next?" Phil asked.

     "Advanced Drama with Mrs. Layer," Dan said through the breathing he was trying to calm. 

     "Is that it then, is that what's causing you to be upset? I'm sure you are gonna like it if that is whats worrying you, I hear she is a great teacher and I'm sure you will be great," Phil responded, genuinely trying to make him feel better.

     Dan wondered how he had gotten so lucky today, not dealing with his mum before school, getting a locker next to the most attractive guy at this entire school, and him being an actually amazing friend to Dan who had worried the past week about this very day. Yet even through all this, Dan still wasn't that calm about this class.

     "It isn't the teacher or anything, its the class, I took drama at my last school but this is a new school and I'm going to look so weird going into a class of kids who probably all know each other," he  explained to Phil.

     He shot Dan a sympathetic smile, obviously hearing the distress in his voice and calmly said, "It's alright Dan, those kids are really nice from what I have seen, I'm sure they will welcome you with open arms, just don't go replacing me so fast," Phil laughed at the last part.

     Phil's words calmed him down and he laughed with him, Phil closed Dan's locker and started walking him to the drama room.

     Standing close to him, almost as if he was protecting Dan, Phil said, "I'm sure everything will be alright but if it's not, just remember, its only 58 minutes and you can come back to our lockers, okay?"

     Dan nodded at his word and Phil smiled and said, "Good, I'll see you then, bye Dan."

     "Bye Phil."

     With that Phil turned and left, he had gotten used to the stares girls gave him for talking to Phil and ignored them, walking into the classroom. 

     The class actually turned out to be quite nice, every one in the class didn't treat Dan differently for being new and he enjoyed it, There was this nice girl, in Phil's grade who was the drama club leader. Her name was Louise and she showed me around the room and auditorium. 

     After class had finished Dan went over to his locker and told Phil about it and they walked to his last class of the day. Class wasn't that interesting but it would be over sooner or later so Dan sat through it, thinking about Phil's blue eyes, and the way he took him to that bench outside when Phil had never brought anyone else out there. Dan wanted to think there was something more to this, but Phil was probably only being a good friend and nothing more. 

     The bell rang before Dan had any more time to over think it and he made a bee line for his locker. When he made it, he saw Phil walking up from the other side of the hall and they met in the middle where their lockers were. 

     Dan packed all his things into the back pack that had been sitting in the dusty locker all day and Phil did the same. Dan threw his backpack over his shoulder and Phil turned to him. 

     "So, uh... would you like to, maybe exchange numbers so if you have any questions or anything we can get in contact?" Phil said with a crooked smile.

     Dan felt his face go red, he couldn't bring himself to say anything so instead he just unlocked his phone and handed it to Phil.

     Phi responded with a real smile and started making a contact for himself and texting the number.

 

**Dan:** It's Dan.

 

Dan laughed, as it wasn't him to send the message but Phil just laughed too, he handed to phone back to him and said, " Great! I have to run, my mum wants me home soon and our house isn't that close to here."

     "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow Phil!"

     "See you tomorrow," Phil said and he ran off.

     Dan took a right heading for the doors he had entered through this morning, remembering how nervous he was to walk through them. Who knew he would actually have a pretty amazing day. Dan actually quite liked this school so far, apart from the jealous stares of teenage girls. 

     He began walking in the direction of his house, hoping his mum would be out or asleep by the time he got home. He tried not to think too much on his mum, He didn't like remembering the drinking, and yelling, and throwing that came from her, especially not after having such a great day with Phil. Dan is actually quite glad that he would have a friend this year, apart from all the years he was alone. Going to school would just be a time where he was trapped in his own mind about his home life and how every waking moment of his life he felt this dread, this emptiness and an urge to go somewhere dark and alone to just sit. It has only been one day, but school already feels different for him, Phil makes it different. 

     At first Dan had been scared to talk to Phil, knowing he was popular Dan expected him to be like any other guy at secondary school. Phil wasn't though, Phil was nice and genuinely cared, and he was a great distraction for Dan. That was probably why Dan felt himself falling so hard for the boy with a black quiff, it was just so easy to talk to him, despite the age difference. 

     Phil was so much of a distraction for Dan that he had almost not noticed the buzz from his phone in his pocket. He opened his phone to see a message from the newly made contact in his phone.

 

**Phil:** Hey Dan! I probably seem so weird texting you so soon but I completely forgot!

**Phil:** This Friday night one of the guys in my grade is having a kinda, Kick off the school year house party.

**Phil:** Now I don't necessarily like these types of things, but I felt bad an told him I would go :/ 

**Phil:** So I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to, it would be a great way to get to know the students and stuff, and well I'll probably be pretty alone at it so I thought it would be a good chance for you and I too hang out more :P

**Phil:** I mean you totally don't have to go I just... sorry I don't want you to feel like I am pressuring you...

 

     Dan watched as the messages filed in. He laughed as he could basically see the red painted all over Phil's face while he read Phil's messages. Yet he felt himself go red as well, Phil was inviting him to a party with him and Dan didn't know what to say. Of course he wanted to go.

 

**Dan:** Don't worry Phil, I don't feel pressured at all, I would love to go, but where is it and when?

**Phil:** Oh yeah :P It's over on 17 Brookdale Road and it starts at 6

**Dan:** Oh that's pretty far away from where I live, I would have to see if my mum could take me

**Phil:** Alright Dan, I hope you can go, it would be nice to not be alone trying to find a hiding place away from all the drunk girls 

**Dan:** Yeah, I'm almost home I will ask my mum if she could take me then, tty in a few

**Phil:** Alright! :)

 

     Dan suddenly wasn't as excited about this party as he stepped close to his house. He didn't want to have to ask his mum. He didn't want to face what he knew would come with it, but he had to if he wanted to spend the evening with Phil.

     Dan walked onto the porch and held his hand on the door. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly and quietly. It had been no use though, as his mum was up, and drinking, and she didn't look all that happy to see him.

     "Where have you been all day Daniel!" She yelled.

     "Um... I was at school, I told you last night that today was the first day and that I would be gone till around this time..." Dan coward.

     "That's just a fucking excuse, you just want to be away from me! You hate me! I give everything to you and you hate!" His mum yelled harshly.

     "No... No mum I don't hate you, I know you do everything you can for me... I was at school... I have to go to school, so I can get a job to buy you a better house," Dan said which seemed to make her calm down.

     "...Yes Daniel, I know, you always have been such a good boy, I love you," His mum said.

     The slurs in her words and the smell and alcohol made Dan know she was drunk, hence the sudden shifts in attitude.

      "I love you too mum, I made a friend at school today, he invited me to a party on Friday... I was wondering if you could... drive me?" Dan said.

     Dan's mum didn't answer at first. You could almost see her face go red with anger, and for no reason.

     "You _are_ just a worthless little child then! I can't believe I have given my whole life to your filthy little ass! You suck up to me just to use me and get something out of me! I can't believe you! This is why your father left us, this is why he hates you! You are such a worthless piece of shit! Why don't you make my life a whole lot better and just die already!" She screamed.

     Dan's eyes filled with huge warm tears that began streaming down his face. He knew it was just the alcohol talking but her words still burnt and stung and twisted inside him.  He should be used to this by now, but he wasn't. He was stronger now than before, yes, but still not strong enough. Not strong enough to defend himself. He can't believe she still tells him she wants him to die, he almost did, he almost did die and he wasn't going to do that to himself again, not because of her, but he still cried and it still hurt.

     He opened his mouth to say something but his mum threw her beer onto the table and it shattered and she screamed at him to leave, to just go into his room so she wouldn't have to face him. So Dan left, he locked himself in his room and sunk to the floor. He curled his legs into his chest and he rubbed his upper thighs, trying to remind himself to stay strong. 

     He had fallen into a pit before because of her but being in the hospital for four days made him stronger. He still struggled with depression and anxiety but he swore never to fall into the pit again. So he curled up on the floor and his breathing was heavy. He felt dizzy and everything was spinning, he wanted to scream but couldn't. He tried to stay strong, but its hard to stay strong when you panic. 

     He didn't know how long he had been on his floor but his breathing seemed fine and all he felt was emptiness again. He wanted to move but couldn't. That was until his phone buzzed and he grabbed it from his jeans pocket.

 

**Phil:** Hey are you alright? Its been awhile, just wanted to make sure you made it home

     It had been 26 minutes since he last texted Phil, so Phil had every right to be worried. Dan just sighed and blinked his red eyes and sat up slowly. 

**Dan:** Uh... sorry... I don't think I can go

**Phil:** Mum wont drive you?

**Dan:** No... sorry I did really want to go

**Phil:** I didn't want to say this earlier and sound like a creep since we just met but I can drive you if you are comfortable with that

**Dan:** Oh I don't want to bother you

**Phil:** It isn't a bother at all really :P, I am happy to 

**Dan:** Well then, I guess I can go

**Phil:** Great!

     Dan felt better after texting Phil, he could hear his mom knock on his door, whispering apologies like always. Dan didn't say anything though, he just curled in his bed to take a nap, he would go see her tonight for dinner, then he might tell her he got a ride to the party if she was in a good mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, I know I could probably make two shorter chapters but I just had so much to write for this one, I hope you all like it. Next chapter should have Phil's POV and i may skip to the day of the party as well, we will see, thanks for reading!


	4. The Friday

**Phil's POV**

 

     Phil had been going to this secondary school since year 7. Most people who lived near here have been as it is the only school on this side of town. Because of this Phil had been attending school with majority of the students in his grade since he could remember. 

     Back in primary school he had plenty of friends, yet on top of that he had plenty of bullies who would target him for his small body structure. As he got older the bulling died down, but never went away, till around year 8.

     In Phil's eighth year he experienced his first growth spurt, he had grown to 5'9 and his face matured from his slightly baby face to a slimmer, more masculine face. To accompany this natural change, Phil decided to die his hair black, away from his natural redness, and get a trim so it was more of a shorter fringe. As the years went by the fringe slowly went away, becoming more of a quiff. 

     From year 8 to year 13 Phil grew in popularity, not by choice, and not because he wanted to, but because more and more girls in his grade and other grades found him to be attractive. His growing popularity didn't grow with his friends and eventually they became sick of the attention Phil always had and left him to be alone. Alone is where he has been for the past couple years. 

     Of course the other 'popular' guys invited him places, talked to him and what not, but he never fit in with them, Phil was a lost soul. His personality didn't fit with his popularity and the only friends he had couldn't deal with him. If he was being honest, he couldn't really deal with it himself and didn't blame his friends. He never asked to be popular, he never asked for people to find him attractive. At school Phil just never feels like himself. The more time he is stuck at this school, the more he feels like he has to act like the guy everyone thinks he is.

     This is why Phil was glad it was his last year, his last year and he would leave and go to some college where no one knew him, one where he would dress how ever he liked and act as quirky as he pleased. He was very excited upon walking into school on that First day of year 13, knowing this would be his last first day of school here.

     As soon as Phil had walked through the large double doors that day though, he was bombarded with girls squealing, and whispers and people pointing. Phil became less excited about his last first day, and more irritated to have to survive another year of this. He looked around to see a group of three girls he clearly recognized from all the years going to school together, the one in the middle being Crystal, 'The Prettiest Girl in School'. Phil always scoffed when guys told him that, and pressured him to ask her out. He just wasn't into her. In fact he wasn't into any girls for that matter making his life of popularity much more frustrating.

     In front of the three was a guy with curly brown hair that he had never seen before, but definitely didn't look like a seventh year. To his left was a group of jocks, a group of staring seventh year girls and other people crowding the halls. He had just walked to his locker, ignoring everyone around him, he genuinely was a nice person but was sick of his reputation and the way girls swarmed him like he was a bee hive. 

     He had opened his locker and was putting his stuff inside when he noticed the boy from down the hall staring at him, he almost looked in awe, yet also confused, as if he didn't know where he was going. This was the first time Phil had gotten to see this boy's face. It was beautiful, his hair came to be much curlier in the front, and his eyes were a beautiful brown. He looked at Phil in confusion and Phil smiled at how cute the boy looked. The boy started walking towards him and Phil felt his heart beat quicken. 

     The boy stopped at the locker right on the left side of Phil's and pulled out a paper with a combo and began fumbling with the lock. Phil couldn't stop staring at the boy, Phil had never seen a guy that he felt this strongly about their appearance. Phil was in awe of the boy and in awe of his own feelings. 

     Phil smiled as the boy opened his locker and looked over to him Phil began searching for something to say to the boy and his mouth moved like it had a mind of its own.

     "So this is your locker?" Phil paused at the stupidity of that sentence and continued, "Oh my, I'm so foolish, of course it is, I don't know what I'm thinking, sorry mate. I mean, looks like we are going to be seeing each other a lot then."

    After he was done he mentally face palmed for how socially awkward he was. But the boy just responded with, "Uh... yeah guess so, I'm Dan."

     That was that, things took off from there. Phil showed Dan to his classes, took him to the back side of the school for lunch, gave him his number and invited him to a party all in one day. The rest of the week went by in a flash, Phil and Dan became closer and closer as the days went by. Phil still insisted on walking Dan to his classes even though Dan told him he would be fine, Phil just felt this overwhelming urge to protect the boy who he was falling for so quickly. Phil knew how harsh people could be and decided he didn't want Dan to experience that.

     They started texting more, Phil became aware of some of their mutual interests, such as Muse and video games. Phil had told Dan once that Dan had to come over to his house one day so that they could play Mario Kart after Dan had told him that ever since him and his mum had moved he didn't have a console anymore.

     Phil really liked Dan, he was enjoying school so much more now that he had someone to talk to hang around. Phil noticed he was actually acting like himself around Dan, not like how he felt obligated to act to everyone else at the school. Phil thinks that must be why he is falling for Dan, Dan isn't like everyone else at the school. Dan was new, he didn't treat Phil like he was popular when they first met unlike everyone else who tried to treat him like royalty. To Dan, Phil was just a person. Also on top of that, Dan was just really attractive. 

     Phil couldn't help but smile every time Dan did, seeing that adorable dimple on his face was just too much for Phil. 

     It was now Friday and Phil was so excited, it was about 4:15, leaving only about and hour and a half till Phil would have to pick Dan up, he already had Dan's address mapped in his phone and was now getting dressed into nice casual clothes. Yet Dan had been right, the party was far away from him, Dan lived on the other side of town than Phil. Phil had been blessed to live in a very nice neighborhood, where most of the kids that went to his school lived, but Dan lived in a poorer neighborhood. There was nothing wrong with that, it just meant Dan would be far from most off campus activities, but Phil was more than happy to pick him up. 

     Phil put on a white, short sleeve button down that had pale cream stripes in it and black skinny jeans. He was adjusting his quiff when he received a message.

 

**Dan:** Hey Phil, what should I wear? Am I supposed to dress nice?

**Phil:** No Dan, just casual, what you normally wear is more than fine! :)

**Dan:** Ok, I will see you in a bit, text me when you are here

 

     Phil realized his last comment may have been a little flirty but Dan didn't seem to pick up on it so everything was fine. Phil didn't really know how to pass the time so he just put on some Muse and scrolled through Tumblr.

 

**Dan's POV**

 

     It was now 5:40 and considering it is a 15 minute drive from his house to the party, Dan was sure Phil would be here soon. 

     Dan had decided to put on his ripped, black skinny jeans and a black jumper with a red and white stripe down both sleeves. He thought it looked casual, but also not cheap. He played around with his hair a bit but decided he would just sit for a bit till Phil texted him that he was here. Then Dan would try to sneak out of the front door without his mum realizing he has gone. 

     He had told his mum about the party, and that he had a ride, but she had probably forgotten after she had cried all that night about it. She was probably drinking now as well and if he tried to leave, she would probably just get angry.

     Dan didn't like his mum to be sad or angry with him, yes she was mean, and yes she hurt him, but she is still his mum. So Dan just sat, scrolling through Instagram on his phone. After a few minutes of that he received a text from Phil saying that he was outside. Dan smiled down at the text, his heart beating fast from the excitement of an evening with Phil. He grabbed his black sweater and and phone with his right hand and began for his door.

     He slowly opened his door and went into the hallway, he quietly closed his door and began tip-toeing through the hall. He peaked into the living room, his mum was drinking and watching the telly. He began to creep past her, heading straight to the door. When his hand was on the front door his mum shouted, "Where do you think you are going Dan!"

     "Uh...I told you Monday... my friend was picking me up today at 6?"

     "You didn't tell me anything you bastard," She screamed and Dan tried to keep his breathing calm and opened his mouth but she continued, "You are such a waste of space, a fucking piece of crap. You aren't worth anything. You just want to go party like a Fag. You fucking bastard. You just want to leave me here all alone. You just want to fucking leave me!"

     "No! No...I swear... I'll just... I''ll just go back to my..."

     "No, fuck you. Leave, just fucking leave me!"

     But Dan didn't move, he couldn't. Suddenly a bottle came flying at Dan. The glass bottle hit the wall right next to him and shattered onto him and the ground. Dan began to cry, he covered his face and sun to the ground, hoping to become one with the shards. His mum just kept yelling at him to leave, becoming louder.

     "Just leave! Fucking Leave!"

     Dan couldn't take it.

     "Get out of my fucking house! Go to your fucking party and get alcohol poisoning, I hope you fucking die you worthless brat!"

     With that Dan reached for the door handle with his left hand, he abandoned his sweater that was soaked and covered in glass. Through deep heavy breathes that made Dan want to pass out, and big warm tears, Dan managed to get the door open and crawl out and close it again. 

 

**Phil's POV**

 

     As Phil waited for Dan outside his house he became worried. Dan was taking a while and Phil thought he could hear yelling inside but didn't know for a fact. It was when he heard a crash that sounded like broken glass come from the house that he became alarmed. Phil unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his car and onto the pavement. Soon after the door began to open and Phil saw Dan.

    Dan's right shoulder had some shards of glass on it and he was crying and breathing heavily. His breathing looked how it did before his first drama class, but paired with the crying Phil saw Dan was having a panic attack. He ran over to Dan as Dan closed the door and knelled in front of him.

     "Dan look at me," Phil whispered.

     Dan looked bad, he looked like he was going to pass out and Phil began to count, breathing in for 7 seconds, holding for 5 and letting it out for 8. As he did this Dan caught on and began trying to stay in sync with Phil. When Dan looked like he wasn't going to pass out Phil said, "I'm going to pick you up okay? I'll get out of my car so you aren't right outside your house and I will help you in there."

     Dan nodded and Phil picked him up, cradling him, Phil had to protect him, make him feel safe. I opened his car door and sat Dan down telling Dan to continue the breathing exercises. Phil got  into the drivers side of the car and took a deep breath and turned to Dan. He gave Dan a smile to comfort him.  

     "You are safe now Dan, okay? You are in here with me and I won't let anyone get to you, okay?"

     Dan nodded, he struggled with a smile, but I knew he had been trying and that's what counted.

     "I'm going to drive to the park down the street, when we are there we can get out and I'll help you get cleaned up."

     I began to drive, the park was only two minutes away and Dan's breathing was much better and he had stopped crying. When we got to the park Dan and I both got out. He came to the grass near me and I smiled at him trying to keep him comfortable. I began to brush away the remaining glass on his shoulder and in his hair. He brushed his legs and wiped his hands on his pants. From the looks of it he wasn't very wet, just some splashes on his shoulder. Dan wiped his eyes and took a deep breath and composed himself.

     "Do you mind if I ask what happened?" Phil asked.

     " Uh... w-well I tried to l-leave and my mum got mad, she must have forg-got about me t-telling her and she... threw a beer bottle at the wall..." Dan said.

     "I'm sorry Dan... Are you feeling better?"

     "Yeah... thanks Phil... I don't know what I would have done without you. I would probably still be on my porch having a panic attack."

     "It's fine, I just needed to make sure you are okay."

     "Yeah, my hand are a little scraped but I'm fine."

     Phil didn't thing Dan sincerely was that 'fine' but he's sure Dan was feeling better.

     "Well... what do you want to do now? I'm sure you don't..." Phil began before Dan cut him off.

     "No, it is fine Phil, lets just go to the party, it'll probably distract me more, and you already said you would go to it as well."

     "Okay, if you are sure you are up for it."

     Dan nodded and we got back in my car and I drove to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you liked it! We got Phil's POV today finally, also a little angst. Tell me what you thought! Comments are most appreciated. Love you guys!


	5. The Party

**Phil's POV**

 

     On the ride there, Phil and Dan listened to Muse and just talked normally. If Dan wanted to be distracted from his home life, then Phil was going to obey his wishes and try to distract him as much as possible. Phil just wanted Dan's evening to be better than it started off. Now house parties maybe weren't the best source of fun, as at some point they usually go terribly wrong, but Phil was still determined to make Dan have a good evening.

     Phil's mind began to wander to having to drop Dan off after the party, Phil just couldn't imagine sending Dan back into that house, He didn't know all the details of what happened inside, but whatever did made that house unsafe for Dan. Phil remembered telling Dan he could come play video games with him at his house and decided he might ask Dan to come spend the rest of the night, after the party, with his family.

     He was sure his family wouldn't mind, especially if they knew what was happening at Dan's house, so he just hoped Dan and he were close enough by now for Dan to be okay with it. Phil didn't even know if he was okay with it, of course he was, but Phil was afraid he might do or say something stupid that could potentially end the only friendship Phil had. He decided his friendship with Dan was more important than his growing feelings. 

     When they got to the house Phil circled the neighborhood till he found a good parked spot not too far from the house, most people lived near here so they never drove, plus they would probably be too drunk to drive afterwards. Phil made sure not to drink at these parties, which often times made him many drunk teenager's chauffeur. Not today though, he was Dan's driver and Dan's driver only. 

     Dan and he got out of the car and onto the sidewalk. Phil locked his car and they made their way to the house that had colorful lights and loud noises coming from it. He smiled over at Dan a reassuring smile that everything was okay and he smiled back at him.

     "I have actually never been to a house party, so this will be a first for me," Dan said.

     "Well you are only 14, so I can see why," Phil teased.

     "Hey! I am almost 15, and you have to admit I look much older than my age," he said defensively.

     "Yeah yeah, I know, and you act much older than your age as well, I'm still here though to be your protector. Can't let anything happen to my little Dan now can I?"

     Dan just gave his a pout, it was adorable  and then he started laughing, "I can take care of myself Lester!" he said giving Phil a playful push. 

     The two tall boys kept bickering on till they made it to the house and Phil grabbed the door to open in. They walked in and as soon as they did everyone began welcoming Phil, saying how they were glad he came and how they were waiting for him. They always caused such a big deal when Phil arrived to parties, as if he was the life of the party when often times he found a secluded corned to sit in and be on his phone.

     Dan looked a little excluded so he tore himself away from the chaos and Dan followed. When he was in a room with less people in it, he let himself let out  a breath of relief and turned to Dan.

     "They treat me like I am royalty or something," Phil joked.

     "They probably just admire you and your popularity," Dan responded.

     "I think they feel like the closer they get to me the more of it will rub off on them but really I wish they could just take it, I hate being popular. I hate being bombarded by girls every minute and feeling like I can't act like myself around them because of the way they portray me. Dan you are really the only person I feel like I can act like myself around and not feel like i'll be scrutinized."

     " Yeah, I guess that is stressful, I have always been someone who could lurk in the corner and no one would bother me, but I was lonely, I guess in a way, being so popular you can't trust that these people like you for you, because they could just like you for the person like think you are," Dan responded.

     "But at least I have you, I trust that you're hanging around me for me, not for the popularity," Phil smiled.

      "Yeah, never been much into the popularity myself anyways, and if I didn't think you were cool, do you still think I would be hanging around someone who has girls lurking everywhere, giving me dirty looks for talking to you," Dan laughed out at the last part.

      "Jez, I didn't know those crazy girls were doing that!" Phil then laughed.

      "Maybe I trusted you so much because you were new, you didn't know anything about me, you weren't like the bullies I had for years that suddenly wanted to be my friend the moment girls decided to like me," Phil continued.

     Dan just nodded happily. They kept talking about the school, people, and other random things till Phil had to go to the toilet. They were now sitting on a couch, Phil got up and told Dan he would be right back and he left Dan sitting on the couch. He went to the toilet and washed his hands and opened the door to make his way over to the stairs when of course, none other than Crystal was waiting there and latched onto his arm.

     "Philllllllllyyyy! Will you please show me where the bedroom issh. I'm tired Philll!" Crystal whined. 

     Of course he wanted to just go downstairs to Dan but Crystal wasn't going to let him go so he thought the best idea would just be to find a bedroom and put Crystal in it. Phil waddled along with a drunken Crystal hanging to his neck and  began opening doors till he found a plain bedroom that looked as it must be the guest bedroom.  

     He stepped inside with her and said, "Okay, here you go, sleep if you must."

     She then stood up from her latch on him and closed the door and locked it, "But Philyy, sleeping isn't very fun, don't you think something else would be more fun for me and you to do," she said, now with her arms on his waist looking at him.

     "No, actually, you are drunk Crystal, I think the best thing is for you to go to sleep so I can leave and go back downstairs."

     "Come on Phily! I'm only a little tipsy, I think I could make you feel great, I could make you feel better than anyone else has," She said running her hands down him.

     She was trying to turn him on, he could tell, but he wasn't turned on, the opposite in fact. Crystal began to lift up her shirt and Phil had had enough.

     "Okay Crystal, this is enough, this is going to far. You are going to lay in that bed and sleep, or you are going to leave this room and leave me alone," she whined and Phil turned, reaching for the door and Crystal grabbed him and started pulling him towards the bed, but he grabbed her arms and unclasped them from his hips and let her fall from the momentum onto the bed.

     "Crystal! Just stop, leave me alone, you are drunk and are harassing me so will you please just leave me alone!" Phil snapped.

     She looked like she might be crying and Phil just turned back to the door, unlocked it and left. He headed down the stairs into the side living room where he and Dan had been sitting. When he turned to the couch Dan wasn't there though. Phil turned in a panic and looked around. When he knew Dan wasn't in that room he went into the next and the next till he was in the kitchen and say PJ.

     "PJ? Have you seen Dan?" Phil asked.

     "Oh the little guy you brought with you, I think he walked out to the front." PJ responded.

     Phil thanked him, but he mind was zooming as to why Dan would go to the front. He hoped he didn't leave. Phil opened the front door and looked around to find Dan sitting on the side of the porch with a cup in his hand. Dan was looking at the ground, but Phil couldn't see his face. He closed the front door and said, "Dan? What are you doing out here?'

     "Philll? I thought you didn't want to be around me anymore..." Dan said, slurring his words a bit.

     "Dan? Have you been drinking?"

     "...Yes..."

     "Oh god, Have you ever drank before?"

     "No"

     "How many cups have you had?"

     "This is my shecond," Dan slurred.

     No wonder he was hit so fast by the alcohol. Phil walked over to him and grabbed the cup from Dan and spilled the remains and Dan whined.

     "How did this happen? Why would you think I wouldn't want to be around you? I told you I would be back."

     "Well... I realized I had to go too... so I went to go where you went and saw you and that girl... you took her into the bedroom and I got upset. I didn't want you going into bedrooms with pretty girls... and it just looked like you forgot about me, I wents to leave the housh and the guy in the kitchen gave me the drinksh... he shaid it would make me feel better, but I just got sadder..." Dan explained, looking like he might cry at any moment.

     "PJ..." Phil whispered under his breath, wondering why he would give a 14 year old beer, "Crystal told me to show her where the bedroom was and I knew she wouldn't let me go so I showed her but she locked the door and tried to have sex with me. I kept trying to get her off me, but it took awhile to finally get out of the room, I'm sorry Dan."

     "No Philll, I'm shorry. I'm worthless and shorry, please don't hate me," Dan pleaded on the verge of tears.

     "No, no Dan, its fine, you aren't worthless, you are my only friend at this school and the only person that matters to me I couldn't hate you," Phil tried to calm Dan down.

     Dan's mood quickly changed and he was smiling now, "I'm... the only person that matter to you," his cheeks were blushing and it was adorable.

     Phil nodded and the drunken Dan flung himself on me and hugged him, "Yay! You are the only person who matters to me too."

     Phil smiled back at Dan, his smile was just too contagious with his dimple. Still hugging Phil, Dan looked up and stared at him for a second.

     "Your eyes are so pretty," was all Dan said and it made Phil blush.

     "You think so?" Phil asked.

     "Definitely, they are the sky and the ocean had a baby," Dan said, his face had a drunken blush as he stared into Phil's eyes.

     Phil wanted so much to lean down and kiss Dan, but he didn't want to take this conversation the wrong way and most definitely wouldn't take advantage of Dan in this state, so instead he just smiled down at Dan.

     We sat in silence for about a minute till Dan suddenly broke away from the hug and leaned over the edge of the porch and puked. Phil felt bad for Dan and told him he would get him some water, but when Phil came back Dan was passed out so Phil left the water on the ground, picked Dan up like he did earlier that day at Dan's house and brought him to his car. Phil wasn't about to take Dan home like this but never got a chance to ask about spending the night at his, but if Dan doesn't like it he'll just have to suck it up in the morning.

     Phil got Dan in the car and calmly drove to his house, parking his car in the garage and getting out, he went to Dan's side, he looked so peaceful and happily asleep, it was adorable. Phil picked him up, opened the garage door and went inside. Luckily it wasn't too late and his mom was still up watching TV in the living room. He walked over to her and she turned around and gasped slightly. 

     "Hey, I know this is probably weird, but this is Dan, the boy I have been hanging out with at school," he explained.

     "Oh, so this is Dan?" His mum asked. 

     "Yeah, sorry that this is your first impression of him... but at that party we were at, Crystal tried to... you know... with me again and it took me a few minutes to get back to Dan and in that time PJ had given Dan a drink, I don't think Dan knew exactly what it was and he accidentally got drunk. He passed out and I would have taken him home, but..." He paused.

     "But what?"

     "I think his mum abuses him... I don't know if its physical, but when I went to pick him up I heard yelling inside, then she threw a bottle at the wall, but it was close enough to him, but it got glass on him and I ha to talk him down from a panic attack. I don't know if it happens often, but I couldn't imagine taking him back there tonight. He probably doesn't like telling people or people knowing about this though, but I just thought I should tell you," He explained.

     "Oh... honey that's terrible, he can say with us whenever, but he really should tell someone what happens because if he's being abused then... then something needs to happen," She said.

     "I know, but I don't think he wants to talk about it so maybe when he and I are closer I can talk him into getting help," Phil said, still holding Dan, luckily Dan was light.

     "Yes, well for now he is welcome here whenever."

     Phil nodded and began walking upstairs to his room, he could put Dan in the guest bedroom, but usually his father uses that room in the mornings as an office if he doesn't know there are guests so his room would be more than okay.

     He laid Dan down onto the bed and debated on what to do. He didn't want Dan to sleep in his clothes because he realized Dan's clothes had beer split on them, but he didn't know if he should change Dan. In the end he decided that Dan had boxers on so changing him shouldn't be an issue. Carefully Phil lifted Dan's jumper over his head, revealing his chest, but Phil just stared at Dan's bare chest. Dan's chest had bruises and scratches all over it, some didn't look all that new but Phil still couldn't believe it. He put one of his own shirts onto Dan and unbuttoned his pants, but what was revealed as he too these off was much worse.

     On Dan's thighs were dozens of thin cuts, they all looked old and healed as much as they would, but that didn't matter to Phil, what mattered was that at some point Dan had done this, when he looked lower he saw one cut that was much bigger that the others, but this one had the indents meaning it had been stitched up. All this made Phil sick to his stomach. He pulled out some pajama pants and slid them onto Dan.

     Phil tried to not think about what he saw, since Dan was asleep and even if Phil wanted to ask questions he couldn't, Phil just had to remind himself that Dan was here and safe. Phil grabbed a glass of water and a pain killer for when Dan got up, he laid Dan on his side and tucked him in. Phil wasn't very tired and didn't know if Dan would be uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as Phil, but he also didn't think Dan would like him sleeping on the ground. 

     Phil got ready for bed and laid on the other side of the bed, trying to stick to the edge just in case Dan woke up and got uncomfortable. Knowing Dan was safely next to him, Phil began to slowly drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked this chapter! More of Phil's POV + drunk Dan! Tell me what you though, Thanks!


	6. Waking Up

**Dan's POV**

 

Dan felt himself drifting into consciousness, all around him was the darkness of his mind as he began to become aware of the world around him. Dan felt warm, cuddled up in a thick duvet, yet his head was pounding. He began to flicker his eyes open, expecting to be under his black and grey duvet, but as his eyes began to focus on the sunlit room, Dan became aware that he was not in his bed. 

     Dan was covered in a green and blue, bright colored duvet in a room that was very much, brighter than his. He turned onto his other side to see a nightstand with a glass of water and a painkiller. Dan decided he wouldn't be remember anything till his headache started clearing up, so he grabbed the pain killer and swallowed it with the water. He slowly sat up, now sitting on the edge of the bed. He took another drink of the water and looked around some more. On one of the walls was a picture of Phil, he looked younger, he was with three other boys in it. 

     It was then that Dan began to remember the last night, seeing Phil go into the bedroom with Crystal, feeling the utter sadness that maybe Phil really was hanging out with him out of pity. He remembered the drinking and then remembered Phil clearing up the whole situation. Luckily for Dan, he wasn't ever so drunk that he forgot what had been said, but now he was cringing at how clingy he was drunk. 

     Yes Dan was only 14 and taking a drink was a stupid idea, but honestly, Dan might as well be 18, he had to grow up fast living with his mother, by the age 10 he was basically an adult, but still, he shouldn't have drank, he was just... He didn't know. Jealous? Angry? What ever it was, it was stupid. 

     Dan assumed Phil must have brought him to his house, but Dan couldn't remember that part, in fact, he couldn't remember anything after he threw up. Did he fall asleep? Oh god did Phil have to put up with him while he was asleep. It was then that Dan became aware of the slightly over-sized pajamas he was in. This is when he began to panic. 

     'Oh god! Did Phil see, did Phil change him while he was asleep and see? What if he comes up here and tells me to leave. Tells me that he doesn't want to be associated with me because of what I used to do... no, no Phil is better than that, he wouldn't... would he?' Dan thought to himself trying to calm down. 

     Dan smelt the smell of pancakes in the air, he wondered what time it was. He looked around the room for his phone. Across the room, he saw it plugged in. He stood up and walked over to it, sitting a dresser, he unplugged it and saw it was 10:30, a little late for breakfast, but maybe everyone got up a little late. Everyone? Dan realized he knew virtually nothing about Phil's family, other than he had a brother who is away at college at the moment. 

     Suddenly the door opened and Phil walked. His eyes went from the bed, to the nightstand, to him, Phil smiled a huge smile, he looked genuinely happy, he was holding some clothes in his hand.

     "Oh great! You're up, are you feeling alright?"

     "Killer headache, but other than that, I'm fine. I took the pain killer, so it should die down soon. But, hey, I'm really sorry about that night, that was really stupid of me to accept the drink from that guy, then I got all weird when I was drunk, and I guess I passed out? You didn't have to take me here though, I don't want to intrude on your family."

     "Oh, so you did remember last night and what happened, that's good, at least you weren't too drunk, and it's really no big deal, seriously Dan, I couldn't imagine waking you up and taking you back there like that, I wouldn't to make sure you were safe. Being drunk puts you in a vulnerable state, I didn't want you home like that. Also, breakfast is almost done, my mum held off making it till a little later to give you some more time to sleep. I managed to clean your clothes from last night as well," Phil said, handing Dan his skinny jeans and jumper.

     "Okay, thanks Phil, you really are too nice, and so is your mum."

     "Yeah, she didn't want you out drunk either, and she wanted to make sure you got enough sleep so you didn't wake up tired or sick, the dinning room is downstairs, first room on the left, I'll go down there, come down when you are changed," Phil said smiling.

     Dan nodded and Phil closed the door. He removed the clothes Phil had somehow got on him and put them in a woven hamper and began wiggling into my skinny jeans, avoiding the holes. Then he slipped on his jumper and opened the door to head downstairs.

     When he got there Phil's mum and dad were sitting on one side of the table, and Phil was sitting on the other with an empty chair to his left. No one had began eating yet, they were just talking. They all looked so happy to just sit and talk with each other. Phil's mum caught a glimpse of Dan and ushered him over.

     "Oh good morning Dan, come over and sit sweet heart," Phil's mum said with a sense of compassion Dan only ever heard from his mum when she was sorry.

     Dan walked over and sat in the chair to Phil's left. As he sat Phil shot him a smile and everyone began serving themselves pancakes from the platter in the center of the four of them. Dan moved his silverware to his left side and served himself two pancakes. He buttered them and drizzled syrup on them as everyone else was doing, then grabbed some bacon from a platter on the side. 

     This was a much bigger breakfast than he was used to, in fact, he usually never eats breakfast anyway. His mother doesn't usually cook and usually isn't even awake this early, probably why he hasn't gotten a text from her yet. He picked up his silverware in his left hand and began to cut his pancakes.

     "Ah, you're a left I see," Phil's dad said looking up at Dan.

     Dan was awkward, but Phil's family made him feel welcome, so it had been a little easier to answer them, "Yeah, i'm a bit ambidextrous but I have used my left since I was little."

     "My dad was a lefty, i'm a little surprised it didn't get passed down to Phil, but Phil's bother is ambidextrous, so I guess it must have skipped over Phil." Phil's dad responded.

     "Yeah, when Philip was little, he used to be jealous of his brother's ability, so he spent an entire summer writing with his left hand until one day, when he just threw this huge tantrum like he was 3," Phil's mum laughed.

     "Yeah, and he was in fact 11," Phil's dad added.

     Phil's cheeks were red and he said, "Hey! Since when did this become my parent's tell stories to embarrass 11 year old Phil,"

     Dan started laughing with everyone else. Phil was so cute when he was embarrassed.

     "Oh Phil, isn't that our job when you have a friend over?" His mum laughed.

     "Yeah, how do you think we feel, you haven't had anyone over in years, we have so many stories to tell," Phil's dad said.

     "Oh boy," Phil sighed, yet laughed along with them

     He spent the rest of the meal talking and telling stories, he noticed his headache go away with the food. This meal felt so domestic and Dan couldn't help but smile through the whole thing. They had just met Dan, after he had spent the night because he passed out drunk, yet they were treating him like an immediate part of their family.

     After they ate, Phil's mum, Phil and Dan went into the kitchen to clean the plates and put away the rest of the food. Dan could definitely get used to this, it was a nice change from his usual home atmosphere. It was nice, and Dan hoped he would be able to come here more often.

     After they were done Dan and Phil went back up to Phil's room. It was then that Dan finally received a text from his mum.

**Mum:** Dan! Where are you, why didn't you come home last night? I'm sorry, I'm sorry about yesterday, it will never happen again. I'm worried about you, please come home.

     Dan sighed. It was always like this, whether he was home or not, she always apologized, saying it would never happen again, yet she will just forget that apology sooner or later and let everything fall apart again.

     Phil noticed Dan's sigh and looked over concerned. Dan made eye contact with him and just looked down to his phone. Phil followed Dan's eyes and read the message. He took Dan's phone from his hand and set it down and gave Dan a hug.

      After a few second, they broke the hug and Phil asked, "Is this what she normally does?" 

     "Yeah, she apologizes when she is sober, but just starts drinking again and forgets."

     "I'm so sorry Dan"

     "Don't be Phil, it's not your fault, all you can do is exactly what you have been, cheering me up and distracting me."

     "Yeah, well... do you want to go home?" Phil asked.

     "It's probably best I get home while she is still sober," Dan said.

     "Okay then, we can go, i'll drive you, but can you promise me one thing?"

     "What is it?"

     "If she ever is acting up, or it you are ever upset, you call me? or at least text me, because you aren't in this alone anymore," Phil asked.

     Dan smiled, apart from the anxiety, and sadness, and fear, Dan smiled at Phil's request and he didn't know why. Usually he didn't want people to find out about his home life, but something about Phil's words, they comforted him so much. Knowing Phil was there for him now, that he wasn't judging Dan, he just wanted Dan safe, it made Dan smile.

     "Of course"

     Phil smiled back at him, grabbing his phone. He descended the stairs next to Phil and Phil shouted, "I'll be back, I'm dropping Dan off at his house!"

     "Oh? Dan do you have to leave so soon?" Phil's mum said, peaking from the living room and walking over to them.

     "Yeah, my mum wants me home, she's worried about me."

     "Well... Just know Dan, you are welcome here absolutely when ever you please okay?"

     "Alright Mrs. Lester," Dan said smiling.

     She came over to Dan and hugged him and said, "Please, call me mum,"

     She unlatched her arms from around Dan and said, "Drive safe!"

     Phil and I then left. Dan was basically gleaming, Phil's mum accepted Dan so quickly and Dan couldn't believe how at home he felt around her. They both got in the car and Phil began to drive in the direction of Dan's house and they just talked. They banted about random things, like the party, and the pancakes from the morning, but it was all over too soon as they were suddenly already at Dan's house.

     Dan got out of the car and waved to Phil, "Text me," Phil said and Dan smiled and nodded.

     Dan got to the front porch and opened the door and Phil began to drive off. 


	7. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry that I haven't updated in a few days, it's hard for me to update on the weekends so I only got to write about half on Saturday, when I tried finishing Sunday I just couldn't, I wasn't feeling quite up for it. I'm feeling better now, especially now that I have finally finished this chapter, I hope you enjoy!

**Phil's POV**

 

One of the hardest things Phil has probably ever done was let Dan walk out of his car right then and walk up to that house. The only thing that had let Phil consciously allow Dan out, was Dan's promise to text Phil if anything comes up, and the fact Dan's mum was sober.

     Phil knew Dan was correct when he said that it was better for him to go home while she was sober enough to apologize, than later when she would be drunk and more upset with Dan's absence. That still didn't stop Phil from wanting to jump out of his car and grab Dan and take him to his home, where he would be safe.

     So Phil drove away, trusting, praying Dan would text him later saying everything was alright. It was still pretty early that Saturday, only around one so Phil decided he wouldn't go home right away. He had finished the little homework he had before the party and knew his parents wouldn't mind him staying out longer. 

     Phil drove, he drove till he was at a park he knew very well, it was close to his primary school, his mum used to take him when he was small. He parked on the curb of the pavement and got out.

     He took a deep breath and took in the fresh air, along with nostalgia. This place kind of reminded him his old friends, like Rodger, but it reminded him less of the past and more about how much he has grown and changed. Since it was one on a Saturday, many parents and small children were surrounding the park. 

     It was a nice day so it was particularly busy at this time and Phil, having no small child, probably looked out of place, but this park calmed his nerves, it helped him to tell himself that Dan was fine, that he had been fine for so long before Phil had met him, and that he would be fine till Phil saw him on Monday.

     He put his ear buds in, listening to some slower music to help calm him, and began walking around. He walked the perimeter of the park at first, then down to the school and back, and finally settled in a secluded park of the park, where three trees stood and grass grew. 

     Phil sat in the shadows of the looming trees and relaxed. He closed his eyes and took in the music and fresh air. After a few minutes Phil felt a buzz from his phone and paused his music.

     He opened his eyes and came back to reality to reveal a text from Dan.

 **Dan:** Hey Phil, you seemed a little on edge dropping me off, I just wanted to tell you that she apologized and then went to take a nap and I am safely situated in my room :)

     That was all Phil needed to calm down, he smiled down at his phone and began to type out a reply.

 **Phil:** That's great, i'm glad you are okay! I really hope she doesn't act up this weekend

 **Dan:** Yeah me neither 

 **Phil:** Also, I just realized you were at my house and never got to play video games with me, I want to see how good you are :((( Guess that's just another reason to come back to my house to hang out!

     Phil and Dan continued this banter as Phil sat at the park, it was now nearing three and Phil decided it was best to head home.

     While walking to his car Phil thought back to seeing Dan while changing him. Dan truly was beautiful to Phil, inside and out, but the scars and bruises that littered Dan's skin were horrifying, not because they made Dan ugly. They certainly did not, nothing could, but it made Phil worry, and it made Phil angry and sad to know Dan has to put up with abuse.

     Phil hadn't asked Dan about the markings on his skin today because Dan had already had a rough night and would have to put up with his mother and Phil didn't want to upset Dan or make him uncomfortable. Phil would ask though, one day, when the time was right. He needed to know more about Dan's story, and he knew the closer they got, the more of it he would find out.

     Phil finally reached his car and got inside, he began driving home. His thought drifted to the light sound his car made as he drove across the clean, flat road.

     It was not long before Phil reached his family home, he opened the garage to park his car inside next to his parents'. Locking the doors after getting out and closing the garage door, he opened the door to the inside of his house and made his way inside.

     "I'm home!" Phil shouted to the living room that was playing the telly.

     "I thought you were only dropping Daniel off? Did you stop somewhere?" His mum asked.

     "Yeah, I stopped at the park by my old school and walked around a bit, cleared my mind, busy week you know?" Phil responded.

     "That it has been, I hope you are enjoying your last year so far," his father said.

     "I am!" Phil said, and with that he was on his way up to his room, he heard his parents whispering as he made his way up, but he couldn't make anything out, and didn't really mind.

     He got up to his room and pulled out his computer before making his way to sit on his bed. Dan had said he was going to take a nap because his headache was coming back a bit so Phil decided to distract himself with the wonders of the internet.

     He wanted his computer to in fact be what distracted him from Dan and the abuse Dan has obviously taken in his life, but instead it just fed his angry and confusion. Phil began researching child protection laws, he began looking at stories of people who had been abused by their parents. Many of the stories consisted of the person becoming depressed from a young age, trying to make it through life alone, not wanting to bother anyone about their problems, yet in the end of most of these stories the person says, even though they would not admit it to themselves at the time, they could have really used a friend to help them through it. Many even say they wish they would have reached out to receive help. 

     Phil knew these stories were probably similar to Dan's, Dan probably hadn't had many friends at his old school because he thought it was better to take the abuse alone and not bother anyone about it, and Dan was probably battling depression because of it. Dan clearly has an anxiety or panic disorder, which is probably something caused from his depression. Phil was glad he found Dan, he was glad Dan trusted him and that he could help cheer Dan up, and help him when he's down.

     Phil just wished he could be with Dan all the time, making sure he was safe. More than that Phil wished he could hold Dan and even more he wished to be able to kiss Dan, to make him turn red, and smile, and laugh. Phil wanted Dan to know how much Phil cared for him, and the more Phil thought about it, the more he realized that what he really wanted was for Dan to know how much Phil loved him.

     Love? Did Phil really 'love' Dan, he had only known Dan for a week, yet, he felt so strongly for him. There was something special about Dan, something that made Phil feel so connected to him, something that was there from the moment he first met Dan. Yes, Phil loved Dan, he knew he did, he had never felt like this for anyone else in his entire life. Yes, he had seen guys before whom he thought were cute, and girls who came off as pretty, but never did he feel attracted to them, never in this matter.

     Dan's case was special, Phil felt so connected to him, so in love with him, but he didn't know if Dan felt the same. He wanted to wish Dan did, considering how Dan's face would glow bright red whenever Phil said anything mildly flirtatious without realizing it, and how Dan looked at Phil with beaming amber eyes as if Phil was a painting in a museum. 

     Maybe Phil had just imagined all of this though, maybe Dan just saw him as a really good friend, and maybe Dan just looked up to Phil like a younger brother would. Either way, Phil didn't really mind, of course he loved Dan, but he would must rather be Dan's friend rather than tell him and ruin their friendship. Phil didn't want to be all alone again, and he most definitely didn't want Dan to be.

     Right then there was a knock on Phil's door, he closed his laptop and said, "Yes?"

     His mother had been the one to knock, she opened the door and walked inside, closing the door behind her. 

     "Oh, hey mum, is there something wrong?" 

     She came over to his be and sat on the end of the bed, facing him.

     "No, no Phil there's nothing wrong, I just wanted to come talk to you."

     "Oh, okay then, about what?" Phil questioned.

     "Well, I just wanted to tell you I thought Dan was very nice, and I enjoyed his company when he was over here and I think you and he have a special connection. You two only just met, yet you get along so well, I loved seeing how happy you were, I know you have had trouble making friends in the past and I am so glad you finally have a good one!" She said smiling.

     "Yeah, Dan is a great friend, I glad I met him, these last couple years have been pretty lonely. Is that all?"

     "Well, you know, that you have a friend and are getting along well with him, we were wondering if we would be seeing you bringing any girls home this year?" She asked.

     Phil tried not to laugh at that question, she would not, he had never really had an interest in girls really his whole life, for most of his life he just thought he was too young, or just didn't like the girls at his school, but as the years went on Phil began questioning if he was gay or not. After meeting Dan though, he confirmed his suspicion, recognizing that he was most definitely into guys, more a guy, specifically.

     "Ehh, probably not mum, I'm not interested in the girls at school, plus most of them just want to be with me because of my looks, none really want to get to know my personality, actually, really nobody at that school wants to know my true personality, everyone except..." Phil said before being cut off.

     "Dan," she said starting to laugh, Phil didn't really know what was funny though, "Yeah that's what I thought, and that is perfectly fine, but if there is anything else you want to tell me, I'm open to listen."

     "Like what?"

     "I don't know, but I just want you to know that you can tell me and your Dad anything, no matter what. We love you Phil okay? We love everything about, except maybe how you would watch us from the door while we slept when you were little," She said laughing a bit.

     Now Phil was catching onto what his mum was saying. He thought 'of course' to himself. Of course his parents could see right through him, but he only smiled, he knew what would come next, but he knew there would only be acceptance and love to come after.

     "Oh, I see what you're saying, you two just really do have parent's intuition huh?" he said laughing.

     "Yeah, we do. It's okay though Phil, we aren't upset or anything, we saw the way you look at Dan, you look happier than you ever have when you are with Dan. You never looked that happy, that comfortable, with your other friends," she said, smiling.

     "Yeah, Dan's... Dan is amazing, I feel so comfortable with him, so myself, he is so much different than all the other kids at that school, but just so you know, yes I have suspected I might swing this way for a little while because of my disinterest in girls, but it was till Dan that I realized I really did."

     "Yeah, your father and I have talked about this before, but after seeing you with Dan, we thought it was probably time to ask," Phil's mum said.

     "I love you guys so much, I'm really lucky you know, I'm really lucky to have a family that accepts me," Phil said moving to be able to hug his mum.

     "Don't worry love, we love you just the way you are, and always will accept you for everything you are," She said before breaking the hug, "so are you and Dan?"

     "No, no we aren't, I don't know how he feels, we only just met a week ago, so yeah, maybe one day though, I don't know, he has never seemed to not like me that way, but I don't want to assume anything," Phil answered, blushing now.

     "Well, I think Dan likes you, but that is just my opinion, I hope he does, he would be missing out on the most caring boy I know if he doesn't, "She said winking, "I quite like Dan, I most definitely wouldn't mind him being my son-in-law in the future."

     Phil just laughed, he hadn't thought about that, marrying Dan one day, he knew he probably shouldn't think of these things, giving too much hope into something that may never become a reality. 

     "Oh but one more thing, if you and Dan do ever get together promise me one thing okay," She said and he nodded, "You two will be safe, he is only 14 okay? You are much older, you will be an adult soon, now I have nothing against that but be aware of laws okay? And either way, it is better to take things slow, if you take things slow till he graduates and turns 18, then you'll know you two are something special."

     "Yeah, I know mum, I promise if we get together we will be safe, nothing will happen like that," He said and she smiled.

     "Okay, now that that's all out of the way, how about we go tell your father?"

     Phil smiled and nodded as they got up and began their journey downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! I hope you liked it! Tell me what you thought :D


	8. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has cutting, domestic abuse, child abuse, and blood towards the end of the chapter, please read at your own risk, if it its too much for you please just skip past the flashback, stay safe!

** Dan's POV **

**** He hadn't lied to Phil that day, he had been lucky enough to come home to his mum still sober, she apologized and gave him his jacket, now newly washed after being ruined by the remaining beer from her glass bottle. She told him that she was up late that night and woke up just long enough to text him and wait for him to get home, but now she would retire to her bed and have a nap.

     So yes, when Dan told Phil that his mother didn't bother him upon him getting home, he was not lying, but he did make it come off like he was fine, and happy, which he was not. Dan was the opposite of fine. The moment Dan made it to his room, he collapsed onto his bed. He began thinking of the previous night, and this morning, yes it had been amazing to finally feel like a part of a family, and yes, he had a nice night will Phil, apart from the drinking, but he felt like a burden on Phil and his family.

     True he hadn't felt like this earlier, at all, when he was sitting right next to Phil, talking with Phil's family, he felt at home and safe, and, well, he felt happy. When Phil's mum told him to call her mum, he felt like Phil's house was where he needed to be, to stay, but he knew he couldn't, and now that he was alone, he felt so much worse about even being there. 

     Phil had brought Dan there instead of bringing Dan home, yes, but Dan still felt like he had burdened Phil, not only did Phil have to carry Dan, but Phil let Dan use his bed, and changed him, washed his clothes, and his whole family delayed eating breakfast to wait for him to wake up. In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't a problem for Phil, but Dan still thought about how Phil must find him as a huge inconvenience. 

     Dan felt worthless, but he did notice Phil seemed a bit wary of letting Dan leave and go inside, so Dan decided to text Phil, he had promised to. Dan wouldn't tell Phil he was feeling this way though, he didn't want to bother Phil more than he already has today.

     So Dan texted Phil, and Phil responded back fairly quickly and they began texting back and forth. Dan felt his spirits lift while he texted Phil, but he still didn't feel quite up to be talking to Phil that much. He decided to text a bit longer and eventually tell Phil he was going to take a nap because his head hurt...not an entire lie.

** Phil:  ** Also, I just realized you were at my house and never got to play video games with me, I want to see how good you are :((( Guess that's just another reason to come back to my house and hang out!

     Dan looked and his phone, reading and re-reading Phil's most recent message. Dan felt his face blush, he didn't want to be a bother to Phil or Phil's family again, but Dan would be lying if he said that going back over to Phil's house to play games and hang out didn't make him excited. Dan's excitement just fed his depression though, once he thought about how he was so quick to be thrilled by the idea of bothering Phil more, the thing that has put him in this slump to begin with.

     Dan wanted to be able to hang out with Phil without feeling bad about it though. Dan knew he wasn't a burden to Phil, but knowing and accepting when you are trapped in the constricting chains and black gloom of your mind are two entirely different things. Dan knew come Monday when he saw Phil next, he would be fine to hang out with him, fine to talk with him, but now, now he couldn't help but feel like a burden on Phil's life. 

     It hurt Dan the most when he thought of how much he must bother Phil because, Dan didn't want to bother Phil, he wanted to be his friend, yes, but he wanted so much more and maybe that's what made him feel like a burden. Phil didn't know, and never would if Dan had anything to do about it, that Dan liked Phil. It had been pretty obvious to Dan from the moment he started talking to Phil. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Phil was by far the best looking guy on earth, in every way Phil was the most attractive person Dan had ever met. But more than that, Phil was the nicest as well, and had the best personality to match his looks. 

     Phil was a nerd and nothing like what you would expect the most popular guy at school to be like, and Dan found Phil perfect. The only thing was, Phil was probably straight, and if not that Phil probably didn't like him like that anyway. Dan was nothing more than a good friend to Phil, but Dan was okay with that, at least he had Phil to help distract him, even if it's not in the way Dan wishes it could be.

     After texting Phil a bit more Dan felt the heavy cloud of dread and sadness settle deeper into his core, so he told Phil he would take a nap. We wouldn't though, he knew he would sit with the duvet over his head with his eyes closed just letting the thoughts float through his head.

***

     Dan eventually came out of it by Monday, his mind allowing him to climb out of bed finally and get ready, all just because he wanted to see Phil, he wanted to make sure that Phil was still his friend and that Phil did not find him a bother. 

     Of course, by the time Dan got to the school Phil's bright smile brought all the spirit back to Dan, helped to remove the chains that had tightened around Dan's mind a bit more. Dan couldn't help but smile around Phil and was very glad he had climbed out of be this morning. Phil's presence just helped remind Dan that all his thoughts from the previous days were bullshit.

     The next few days went by fast, everything mostly the same, Dan was falling into a rhythm at this new school, a dance between his locker and his classes, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. On Thursday, right after Dan's last class ended and Dan had gotten to his locker, Phil had asked...

     "He do you want to come over to my house for a bit? My parents said you are welcome anytime and I really want to see what you can do," Phil laughed obviously talking about the video games.

     Dan's heart jumped, of course he wanted to, he wanted any excuse to hang around Phil more, to get to hear his beautiful laugh and watch as he sticks his tongue between his teeth on the side of his mouth. 

     "Sure, that sounds fun," Dan replied.

     "Great! Come on, i'll show you were I park my car and we can head over there," Phil said, ushering to the doors to our left. 

     They walked over to the far end of the school to a parking lot on the side labeled as "Student Parking Lot", in the closed row to them Dan spotted Phil's silver car and began walking to the passenger side of it. Phil unlocked the car so that Dan could get in and they began their short journey to Phil's house. He lived farther from the school than Dan, but since they were in a car the trip was much shorter than Dan's walk home.

     When they got to Phil's house Phil opened the garage door and parked his car next to his parents Van. Dan let himself out of the car and Phil locked his cars and went to the door on the side of the wall to knock so his parents could let him in. He followed behind, standing next to Phil once he got there. 

     Phil's mum opened the door and smiled, "Oh I see we have company! Why come in, come in, so good to see you again Daniel!" 

     "Thank you, it's nice to see you again too Mrs. Lester," Dan responded.

     "Now what did I tell you last time you were over here," She said eyeing me playfully.

     "It's nice to see you again...  _Mum,_ " He said laughing as Phil's mum laughed along.

     Dan and Phil went up to Phil's room where Phil's x-box and switch were, and Phil's mum followed with snacks for the two of them. For the next two hours Phil taught Dan how to work the switch controllers since he had never used one before, and they played Mario Kart and Portal 2 and a few others. It took Dan a few games to get the hang of Mario Kart on the switch, but as soon as he did he began beating Phil by a long shot. 

     He and Phil playfully fought over the games for a while, being noisy, and laughing at each other's game rage. After they were done Phil began to put way the games and controllers when he turned to Dan.

     "Dan can I ask you something?" Phil's tone automatically became much more serious and it took Dan by surprise.

      "What is it?"

     "Well, I really don't want to make you upset or uncomfortable, really, but it has been weighing over my head for the past couple days, and... you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

     "Okay..."

     "Dan, um... did you used to cut? This is probably really invasive to say... i'm sorry, but when I changed you the other day, your legs were covered in cuts  and your stomach had deep bruises and I just... I just wanted to know,"

     It took Dan by surprise, Phil's words, but he just sighed, he knew he should tell Phil, he just didn't like bringing up the memory, but it was now fresh in his mind like it happened yesterday and rather than suppress it, he knew he needed to tell Phil. 

     "Well..." Dan took a deep breath, "Two years ago, before I moved here my mum and I still lived with my dad, they were both alcoholics and well, they weren't the nicest, my father was worse than my mum, than how she is now, but they were both bad at the time. They would get into fights, he would hit her and scream in her face and I would try to step in, to tell him to stop, but he would just get angrier. They would usually then both take their anger out on me instead of each other. That was the worst year, my dad started drinking more that year and so did my mum, things at school were hard and my depression was starting to really take a tole on me. So I resorted to cutting... I would cut up my legs because no one would ever see that..."

** **Flashback** **

     Dan could hear his mum and dad yelling outside his bedroom door, it was getting worse the longer Dan had tried to block out the noises. No matter how hard he covered his ears the screaming just got louder. He heard his mum fall to the ground as she screamed out in pain. He knew it wouldn't end well if he went out there but he hated when his dad hurt his mum.

     There was a loud crash, a beer bottle breaking and another scream from his mum. He could hear his dad cursing at her, calling her a bitch, saying how worthless she was, telling her to die. Dan couldn't take it, he stood up, tears in his eyes and went to his door.

     He opened it and went down the hall, to the living room, the room was covered in glass, his mum was on the floor crying as Dan's dad beat her with his fist. Dan continued walking and screamed out, "STOP! STOP HURTING HER!"

     "You little bitch, you should have stayed in your room and minded your own business brat! THIS IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS MOTHER FUCKER! YOUR MUM IS A WORTHLESS BITCH WHO DOESN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THIS FAMILY AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NEITHER DO YOU!" He screamed, walking over to Dan and punching him in the stomach, causing Dan to fall to the floor.

     "DOESN'T FEEL VERY GOOD DOES IT!" He said kicking his stomach this time, then adding a punch to the face.

     Dan cried, holding his stomach, a bit of blood coming from his mouth and split lip. Suddenly glass shattered at his feet as his Dad screamed at him to get up and go back to his room. Dan stumbled to get up, but before he did, he grabbed a piece of the thick green glass on the floor and continued stumbling to his room. He closed his door and collapsed onto the floor. The yelling outside was still just as loud and he couldn't take it anymore, he adjusted his pants so he had a clear shot of his upper thigh.

     He wanted to stop all the pain he felt in his mind, he wanted to ignore the pain inflicted by his father, he just wanted to feel anything other than what he was feeling right then. he revealed the thick piece of glass and held the straight end with his left hand, leaving the more jagged end available. He didn't have his razors from the bathroom, he didn't have anything to clean it up, but he didn't care, he was too far gone, he couldn't keep feeling this.

     He took the jagged glasses and trailed it across his lower thigh, the skin starting to split, revealing blood, but it wasn't enough for Dan, the tiny sliver cut in his skin wasn't enough so he went deeper, but he didn't realize just how thick the glass was on that end. His cut was too wide, blood began spilling out of the cut and Dan began crying even more.

     The horrid sensation of the cut was not like the others, it was worse, Dan didn't have anything to stitch it up with and the blood just kept seeping out and Dan was helpless to it. Dan was in so much pain, he knew he would die if he didn't get help, he knew he would bleed out, Dan just accepted it. Dan didn't feel like fighting back, he knew he would be better off dead.

     The more blood he lost the more he began to slip away from reality, but something clicked inside of him. A part of him was scared, he realized he didn't want to die, he reached for his phone on the desk near him, he was lightheaded and didn't even know if he would make it to call but he knew he had to try. He called 999 and a operator picked up, crying he explained what happened and she dispatched an ambulance.

     Dan was fading out of consciousness and the lady on the phone kept trying to keep him awake. He heard the sirens outside the door and a knock and Dan smiled, they were here. With that, he faded and fell unconscious.

****

     "And I woke up in a hospital, they said if I had waited any longer I would have died, but they were able to stitch it up and do a blood transplant, they told child protective services about how the house was and my mum testified against my dad saying it was all him. She won the trial and full custody of me went to her, my dad now has to pay for our rent and bills to help my mum because she is unemployed," Dan finished explaining.

     Phil stared at him, looking like he was going to cry, that's when Dan realized that he, himself, was crying and Phil pulled him into a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you liked this chapter, the next chapter will follow this in Phil's POV! Tell me what you think!


	9. Would You Like To Come?

**Phil's POV**

 

     Phil stared at Dan, completely astonished and devastated by the story Dan had just told him, Dan had tears welling up in his eyes and a few tears that had already escaped and were rolling down Dan's cheeks. Phil felt at that moment as though he could cry as well, seeing the beautiful person who brought the sunshine on any cloudy day, the person who allowed Phil to be the person he truly was, crying, was crushing.

     All Phil could do was pull Dan into a tight hug in hopes to remind Dan of the time he was living now, and how he, Phil, would be there whenever Dan needed him. He wanted to make Dan feel safe, he wanted to make Dan feel loved, because that is obviously not what Dan receives at home. 

     "Don't worry, I haven't cut since that day, almost dying made me realize just how strong I had to be, and getting away from my Dad made things much better, even though it seems like I still have it really ruff. I guess I do, but compared to what I used to go through, I can deal with my mom. And it is rare that she ever blatantly hits me, so the bruises are pretty old," Dan said, sounding like he was cheering up, or maybe he had been trying to calm Phil's nerves as Phil's heart raced against Dan's shirt where it lie in their hug.

     Phil pulled back from the hug and wiped away a few of his own tears that had escaped, "That's horrible, how could a person ever do that to their son, or even their wife. If I had a son I couldn't imagine ever hurting him, I'd want my son to have the best life. Dan I can't believe you went through all of that, I wish I had known you, maybe I could have helped you through it."

     "Don't worry Phil, having to go through all of that made me stronger, yes I still cry and panic, and my depression is sometimes more relevant than other times, but I don't cut anymore, and I want to live, and trust me, you have helped me enough during this past week and a half to last a lifetime," Dan explained.

     Phil couldn't take that though, Phil knew Dan was stronger, but that doesn't stop the overwhelming urge to go back in time so that he could have held Dan and told him that everything would be okay. Phil wished he could have told Dan he didn't need to cut to escape... but in a way Phil acknowledged that because of Dan's behavior, he got his Dad out of his life, which was a good thing.

     "Dan I'm still sorry you had to go through any of that, and that you still go threw what you go through now, but I'm glad you go your Dad out of the house, but if this happened 2 years ago, why did you just move this summer?" Phil asked.

     "My dad started showing up at the old house again earlier last summer, instead of getting the court involved my mum just decided to up and move out, we moved across town so he wouldn't know our address, wasn't really me decision you know, but I like where we live now a lot, and I'm really glad we moved," Dan explained.

     Phil smiled at that, hoping that part of the reason Dan was glad he moved here was because of Phil. Dan smiled back at Phil and Phil's heart melted at the sight of Dan's dimples.

     "If your Dad pays rent, then how does he not know where you moved?" Phil asked.

     "He just sends a set monthly paycheck and the court gives it to us," Dan continued to explain.

     "Oh I think I get it now."

     "It's fine if you don't too, it's really complicated, it's part of the reason I have had to grow up so fast, from a young age, I had to understand and know what was happening with court orders and bills, and you're lucky to not have had to go through all of that, so be glad you don't quite understand that well," Dan said laughing.

     Phil didn't really laugh, he didn't like that Dan had to grow up so fast. Dealing with not only child abuse, but having to understand house payments and court orders shouldn't be something a 12 year old would have to deal with. Phil didn't want Dan to think he was upset with him though, so Phil smiled at Dan and laughed a bit along with him. 

     Phil realized that during this time that Dan had been telling his story, he had never finished putting away the consoles they had been playing on. Phil got back up from being next to Dan and grabbed a basket under his self and began putting controllers in. Before he could begin putting games back on the self Dan was now sitting on the ground next to Phil, grabbing games and helping Phil put them back. 

     Phil smiled, he liked when Dan was right next to him, close enough that their arms brush when they are at their sides, it reminded Phil that Dan was safe. Phil knew he thought about this a lot, but he couldn't help it, he just wanted Dan to be safe all the time, and when he was next to Phil, Phil knew he was.

     Phil pushed back the x box into it's secluded corner on his shelf, out of the way. Phil stood up and flopped onto his mattress and sighed, "I know what has happened over the years has made you stronger, but still, it's not fair you had to go through that. Don't you think, if you didn't have to go through that entirely, then you wouldn't need to be this strong and mature at 14?" 

     Dan was silent for a second before turning to face Phil's bed, propping his arms on the edge of the bed frame and laying his head on his hands and beginning, "Yeah, I do think about that, but you know, when all is said and done I would rather it happen to me then let it happen to anyone else. Say my mum left my Dad after I was born and he went and had a kid with another woman and abused that kid, I couldn't live knowing that kid is the one getting abused, not me, you know?"

     Phil propped himself up so he could fully look at Dan. Dan looked truly at piece with what he just said. Dan just had a slight smile on his face and it was beautiful, he was content and Phil knew it, and he wished Dan could look like this forever, stay here forever and never have to cry because of his mum.

     "You're an amazing person Dan."

     "Shut up," Dan said playfully, "Plus, if I wasn't this mature for my age who's to say I wouldn't be like all the other 10th years, who's to say you would have liked non-mature Dan and we would have never become friends."

     Phil smiled at Dan, "True true, everything happens for a reason I guess, now all I can do is be here for you through your tough times and hope I can make most of the time good times for you."

     Dan finally stood up and came to sit on the mattress with Phil, facing him. Dan smiled to Phil and Phil's heart continued doing the flips that had been going on every time Dan smiled at Phil, revealing his dimples.

     Dan's amber eyes were soft and caring, they looked at Phil with such joy, such strength, a look you could never imagine could come from a 14 year old. 

     "You already do, I don't think I have ever been this happy in my entire life, even when I first started school, I never really fit in with anyone, I never really had friends or people who cared for me. In just two weeks you have kept me happier than I have ever been, right now, before I met you, I would probably be under my covers, scrolling through Tumblr, desperately trying to fill the hole... the void in my mind, the emptiness. I don't ever feel that way around you," Dan said, he foot tapping on the bed, his face slightly pink.

     Phil couldn't help himself, he hugged Dan again, this time being able to feel both their heartbeats race as one against each other's chest as Dan had completed the hug. Phil closed his eyes and tried to take in as much of Dan being close to him as he could before they both pulled away.

     At that moment there was a knock on Phil's closed door and Phil got up and opened the door, Phil returned to his seat on the bed as his mum walked in. She walked over to the empty plate that previously held snacks and picked it up and walked back over to the two.

     "Snacks were alright?" she asked.

     "Yes they were great," Phil said, Dan nodding in agreement.

     "So your father and I were talking, and the ice skating rink we always go to opens next month and we were planning on going, and well, Dan if you would like to come, we would be more than happy for you to come with us," she said, Phil's heart filling with excitement.

     Phil loved ice skating, his parents had been taking him ice skating since he was little. It was actually pretty funny, Phil was extremely clumsy, but throw him on a pair of skates and he was actually quite balanced.

     "Oh I've never ice skated before though," Dan said

     "That doesn't matter, I can teach you!" Phil said excitement in his voice.

     "But I wouldn't want to intrude on something you do as a family," Dan said.

     "Oh come on, you are basically family to us, we would love for you to come," His mum said.

     "Well, I'm really never busy so I'm sure I could go, " Dan said smiling and Phil smiled too, excited to be able to teach Dan how to skate.

     "Great, we haven't set a date, but it will probably be a Saturday next month, and if you would like, you could spend the night as well afterwards," She said.

     "That sounds great, if it's fine with Phil," Dan said, turning to face him.

     "Yeah, that's perfectly fine," He said, this just kept getting better and better.

     "Alright! Dan, dear, are you going to stay for dinner tonight?" Phil's mum asked.

     "Oh is it that time already?" Dan said, looking down at his phone to see it was 6:37, "I would love to, but I'm sure my mum wants me home and I wouldn't want Phil driving me home too late."

     His mum looked slightly disappointed, and if he was being honest, so was he, he wished Dan could stay longer, but he knew it was better if Dan got home before his mum got upset.

     They got up and followed his mum out and said their goodbyes. They got into Phil's car and Phil drove Dan home, again feeling the pit in his stomach open up knowing that Dan was now not safely next to him when he had gotten out of the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This chapter is more a filler chapter, it'll get more interesting soon I hope. Debating on another filler chapter first or just going to the day of ice skating. Tell me what you think!


	10. Want To Come For Dinner?

**Dan's POV**

 

     Dan couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he would be spending a full day with Phil, learning how to ice skate, even spending the night. Of course he hadn't told his mum yet, he was going to, that day when Phil dropped him off at home, but there wasn't a set date yet, and he knew his mum wasn't going to be happy with it, and his mum wasn't in the best mood when he had gotten home that day.

     Dan never told his mum that was going to Phil's so she was a bit upset to see him home so late, but it wasn't too bad, she had obviously been too tired to argue with him about it as she just yelled a bit and he just kept walking to his room. He didn't eat dinner that night, but that was fine, he was used to it, Phil ate and that's all that mattered. They had been texting once Phil got back home, that's how Dan knew that Phil had taken a break to eat dinner. 

    Phil had texted Dan that night after getting home to make sure Dan was okay, when Dan assured him he was okay and that nothing happened other than his mum's nasty slurs, he and Phil just texted about their day, and joked about students from the halls and whatnot, the usual. 

     The next week went by just like the last, pretty fast, classes becoming increasingly trickier, but nothing Dan couldn't handle without a bit of effort. Girls at school became increasingly ruder to Dan, the girls' probably realizing he and Phil truly were very close. Maybe the girls' relentless taunts, telling Dan that Phil was just hanging out with him for pity, and how Dan was being selfish, preoccupying Phil from what was 'important', getting a girlfriend, were bothering Dan slightly more than they should because of Dan's increasing feelings for Phil. 

     He remembered one time specifically where a girl came up to Dan in his history class with about 100 pounds in her hand and begged him to switch lockers with her.

***

     "Please Dan! You seemed so nice! I'm offering you  _One Hundred Pounds_ just to switch lockers so I can get closer to Phil, I'm sure he'll really like me when he gets to know me, don't you think," She begged.

     "Uhh... I'm sure Phil would find you very... flattering... but I'm just not going to switch lockers with you, I like my locker, its close to all my classes and the entrance, I don't even know if switching lockers are allowed," Dan responded, giving the girl a crooked smile.

     The girl scoffed and squealed out, "You just don't want to switch lockers because you're a fag and trying to manipulate Phil!"

     "Excuse me?" Dan said, taken back by the girl's sudden mood change.

     "You heard me faggot," She said, turning and walking away.

***

     Dan told Phil about that later in the halls and they laughed about it, Dan didn't tell Phil about that 'Fag' part though. He knew he would probably start blushing, he hated that word, but he knew if he were to talk about a girl saying he liked Phil, he would surely turn red. 

     All the girls reactions to Dan becoming Phil's friend made Dan very aware that these girls were definitely used to Phil being lonely. Dan thought Phil had to look happier now though, so he didn't know why the girls were upset. Dan knew if he liked Phil from afar he would want to see Phil smile through the halls, but then again, maybe he  _would_ be jealous that Phil was enjoying himself with someone else.

     Fortunately Dan didn't have to be jealous, he was the reason Phil smiled and brightened the halls with his glow of happiness, and Dan took pride in that. True he wished he could strut around the halls holding Phil's hand, kissing the smiles Phil had, but seeing the smiles were just fine for now. 

     After all the drama of school for that week Dan went over to Phil's house again, after school that Friday. Finally Phil's mum had picked a date for ice skating, they would go two weeks from Saturday. That day Dan was just so excited, continuously thinking that in 15 days he would be skating with Phil. 

     Dan didn't stay at Phil's nearly as long that day as he had the previous week, leaving around 4:30 to go home. His mum had been asleep when he had gotten home, never even knowing he was late home.

***

     The next week was yet again uneventful, Dan had just been counting down the days till he could go skating with Phil. That was, until Sunday. He knew he was going to have to tell his mum that he would be spending an entire day away from the house at some point, and well, this Sunday was that point.

     He woke up around ten that morning after staying up pretty late texting Phil about his anxieties about telling his mum he would not be home all day Friday and part of Saturday. Phil calmed his anxieties by telling him that if anything happened Dan was more than welcome to come over to Phil's while his mum cooled down.

     So Dan had gotten out of bed, took a shower and went out to the living room, hair still damp as it sat with wet curls hugging his forehead. When he had made it down the hall and in the living room, he saw his mum silently watching the telly, no beer in her hand, but the smell from the previous night was still prominent in the air. 

     His mum heard him enter and paused the telly, turning to face Dan.

     "Daniel, can you get me a glass of water and a painkiller from the kitchen?" she yawned out.

     Dan nodded and turned the kitchen on the left, heading to the fridge to grab the bottle of painkillers from the top and grabbing a cup from the cupboard and filling it in the sink. He turned back around and walked to his mum, handing her the glass of water and setting the bottle of painkillers on her lap. She silently thanked him and opened the bottle, pouring out a few out onto her hand. She popped them in her mouth and used the water to swallow them.

     "Hey, Daniel, promise me you'll never start drinking, it's terrible. Terrible for your health, and hurts like hell after," She said calmly.

     "I promise I won't mum, but if it is so terrible, then why don't you stop?" He asked.

     "Baby, you know I would if I could. I've just gone through so much... it's hard not to, because when I do, I can forget all my problems, I know it's not good... I know I'm not a good parent... it's like an addiction. If there is one good thing that can come from my drinking though, it is you promising me that you will never do this to yourself," She said, calmly.

     This was the side of his mum that he wished could always be present. The side that was calm, and caring, and sober. The times where his mum and he would be in the kitchen as she taught him to cook his favorite meal, or the times they would order take-out and sit by the telly, or just those times that they would sit like this, and just talk.

     "Well, I promise I won't, but there was actually something I wanted to tell you," he said and she nodded, "My friend, Phil, his mum invited me to go ice skating with them on Friday, she said I was welcome to stay the night as well...that is...if it's okay with you?"

     It was silent for a little while, it looked as though his mum was actually considering it. Dan was going to go either way, but he thought he had a better chance at his mum's approval if he actually asked her first.

      After what felt like forever, she finally sighed and looked up to Dan, "Daniel, you are never home anymore, you always are coming home late because of that boy, what are you, a fag? Why can't you just spend you're Friday here, he could watch a movie, or..." She said before Dan cut her off, he didn't want to be rude, as she was still pretty calm, but he wasn't going to let her say he was always gone when most of the time he was in the house with her.

     "Mum, I have been in a house with you my entire life. Why can't you just be happy that I finally have a friend. Just because I haven't ever had friends before that actually wanted to hang out with me like  _normal_ people, doesn't mean that since I go over to Phil's literally only once a week that I'm a Fag!" Dan said, trying not too become to angry.

     "Daniel there is absolutely no reason to raise your voice with me!"

     "I'm not ra-"

     "Yes, yes you are! And I'm sorry that I just get so lonely when you aren't around!"

     "Even when I am around all you do is drink! I just sit in my room alone!"

     "Whatever Daniel! And I was never saying you were a Fag, I just meant that maybe this friend of yours is, I just want you to be safe Daniel!"

     "What the hell! You do even know Phil! How could you say something like that?" Dan said as he got up and stormed off to his room.

     He could hear his mum from the living room yelling, "Daniel get back here! We aren't done with this!" but Dan just shut his door and sunk to the ground.

     He knew this would happen, he knew it wouldn't go well. Dan didn't care, we was still going to go, he didn't care if he mum never let him back into the house, he was still going to go. 

     After a few minutes Dan heard footsteps and there was a knock on his door. Part of him didn't want to open it, but the footsteps didn't sound angry, so he slowly rose and opened the door.

     "I'm sorry Dan, I'm... I'm being selfish... I just... I don't know Phil and I want you to be safe," She said.

     "Phil isn't going to hurt me," He said back.

     "I know, I'm sure he wouldn't but, I was thinking and what about this. What about inviting Phil to have dinner with us tomorrow, I'll cook whatever you want and I can get to know Phil," She said.

     Dan considered this, but he didn't want to bring Phil into his house, he didn't want Phil to have to deal with what he had to. 

     "If I invite Phil over, will you stay sober tomorrow? I don't want him to have to see you get upset or anything," Dan asked.

     "Yes, I won't drink tomorrow, just for you, I'll get up and go grocery shopping and cook, and it'll be nice. I'll clean the living room and the dinning room and we can all sit at the table and talk," She said smiling.

     Her words comforted Dan's fears, he knew she wasn't reliable, but she was his mum, no matter what, and he really wanted to trust her on this. 

     "Really?" He asked hopefully.

     "Yes, really."

     "Okay, I'll text Phil about it and see if he can come over!" Dan said, feeling like he truly had the mum he always wished he had.

     She smiled and began walking back to the living room, she looked tired, but he knew she was happy that Dan was excited. When she was gone, he closed the door and ran to his bed, jumping up and landing onto his back with a slight bounce from the mattress. He let out a long, happy sigh, almost that of a squeal. His mum actually was putting in the effort for him, for once in his life. He wanted so bad to think that this was going to be the start of her becoming more involved in his life.

     He grabbed and unplugged his phone from the nightstand and eagerly texte Phil.

 **Dan:** Hey, so I told my mum about Friday

     Almost automatically Phil began typing.

 **Phil:** Really? How did it go? What did she say?

 **Dan:** She was upset at first, saying how she didn't know you and didn't want me to get hurt, but after I got upset with her I think she realized how having you as a friend was really important to me, so she said to invite you to come have dinner tomorrow night, so I came on to ask you if you could

 **Dan:** She just wants to meet you, so she knows who I am hanging out with

 **Dan:** She promised not to drink tomorrow, and she is going to cook and everything!

 **Dan:** Sorry I probably sound crazy, I just... This is just really important to me, she has never done anything like this for me

     After a minute or so, Dan's phone finally buzzed.

 **Phil:** Hahaha, Dan you don't sound crazy, honestly. I'm really glad she is doing this for you, I'll ask my mum if I can go over tomorrow, what time?

 **Dan:** 6?

 **Phil:** Okay, one sec

      Dan waited a few unbearable minutes before his phone finally started showing Phil typing again. 

 **Phil:** She said that would be fine

 **Dan:** Great! 

     Dan didn't know why this made him so excited... well actually he did. His entire life he had been cooped up in a house with his parents as they drank, they had never done anything for Dan, he never had sleepovers, never had birthday parties, but today, his mum seemed so different.

     She seemed so calm, and she decided she would finally do something for Dan, and he couldn't believe it. He just really hoped nothing went wrong the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I really hope you liked this chapter, when I started writing it I thought it was just going to be a useless filler, I didn't think I would like it, but I actually did enjoy writing it a lot. I think this chapter shows a different side to Dan, his more childish side, and I hope you all really liked it, next chapter will be up on Monday, still in Dan's POV.


	11. How Could You?

**Dan's POV**

 

     The next day flew by, Dan woke up earlier than usual, brushed his teeth, got dressed, combed his hair and headed off to school. All day he was filled with nervous excitement, hoping his mum was up shopping or cleaning. Anytime Dan was standing still, his foot would nervously tap the floor or he would drum his pencil on his desk if he was in class. Phil had to continually remind him to calm down. 

     Dan hadn't expressed to Phil why he was nervous, but he was sure that Phil could tell it was because Dan wanted his mum to keep her promise but didn't know if he could trust she would. 

     During lunch Phil forced Dan to eat some of his meal, seeing as Dan hadn't brought his own, and Phil said the food would help calm his anxiety. Phil was being extra nice to him that day, but Dan could tell Phil probably had a bit of anxiety as well. Phil's only impression of his mum was hearing her scream at him and throw a bear bottle at him the day of the party, so he had a reason to be nervous.

     When the end of the school day came around, Dan was getting ready to say goodbye to Phil, before he got a message.

**Mum:** Daniel, you can go over to Phil's to hang out before he comes over for dinner

**Dan:** What? Are you sure, I was going to go home and help you cook

**Mum:** I'm sure Daniel

     "What is it?" Phil asked.

     "My mum just told me I could go over to your house till dinner, If that's not okay, then I'll just go home," Dan answered.

     "Are you kidding? My parents love when you're over."

     "Okay," Dan said eagerly.

     "Come on, let's head over to the car."

**Dan:** Okay mum, we'll be over at 6

     It was a little strange that his mum didn't want him home, but Dan had been swimming in anxiety all day so he tried not to worry about it. He tried to think she might just be trying to make up for the fact that she had been so rude the previous day, and Dan was totally fine with spending more time with Phil.

     They climbed inside Phil's car and Phil started driving off. The drive to Phil's house was calm. Calmer than when they were in the halls. It was just the two of them, the two of them and the sounds of the road they were moving over. They both hummed along to Muse and occasionally spoke during the seven minute ride to Phil's house. When it was silent, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, that's what was amazing about him and Phil, they could just sit in silence and it was totally fine. When they did speak up it wasn't awkward either, and Dan wished he could just have this forever, sitting in the car, just him and Phil.

     Phil pulled into the familiar driveway and parked his car in the usual spot, this had only been the fourth time this had happened, but it already felt like a comfortable routine they had. They would get out of the car and Phil would lock it, proceeding to the door to get inside. Then Phil's mum would answer it and invite them both to come in. This time though, Phil's mum wasn't expecting Dan.

     "Welcome home Philip! Oh! Dan! What a pleasant surprise seeing you here, I just thought Phil was going over later," Phil's mum said, giving Dan a loving hug.

     "That was the plan, but my mum told me I should just come over here and spend the rest of the day with Phil till it was time for dinner, I hope I'm not intruding mum," Dan said, each time he came over to Phil's he became less socially awkward around Phil's parents as he felt more and more at home around them.

     "Of course you aren't intruding, I'm actually glad you are here, come follow me," She said, gesturing to the kitchen.

     He began to follow and saw Phil sigh a bit and Dan was sure Phil knew what Phil's mum was about to show Dan. When they got to the kitchen Dan saw pieces of colored paper stuck on one of the walls and Phil's mum walked over to them.

     "I want to re-paint the kitchen walls, I am so sick to this yellowish-white color, and I asked my husband and Phil to help me pick a new color, but both of them have no sense of style when it comes to things like this and I just can't decide, so I was hoping you would have a better eye for things like this to help me," She explained, Phil rolling his eyes at the comment about himself and his father.

     Dan giggled slightly at Phil irritation and turned back to look at the colors on the wall, the tile in the kitchen was a dark wood and the house surrounding the kitchen was crisp and white. These colors clearly didn't match the off yellow color of the kitchen walls now. The colors on the wall were a pale blue, light beige, and grey. Dan yet out a slight sigh and looked around. 

     All the appliances in the kitchen were matching, all black with silver trim, and the counters were marble. After thinking about it for a second longer Dan turned to Phil's mum and gave his thoughts.

     "Well, since the kitchen is pretty dark already I think the beige just wouldn't look right, and the appliances all have a silver trim, so the grey is out, and the light blue would fit the kitchen's theme while being a great accent to the white walls of the rest of the house, so I would say do the pale blue," Dan answered and Phil's mum looked ecstatic.  

     "That's what I was favoring too! I didn't know if it would be too much, thank you so much Daniel!" She said, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

     He just gave a chuckle and he and Phil went upstairs, Phil apologized for his mum's behavior, but Dan assured him it was perfectly fine, that he in fact loved it, as his mum never did things like that. Dan was glad he could help Phil's mum as if she was his own. He and Phil played some games for a few hours and worked on some homework till it was about 5:30 and they started to get ready to leave soon. Dan put all his homework in his bag and helped Phil to put games and consoles away.

     Both of their faces were sore from smiling the whole time, and their throats hurt from yelling and laughing, but it was all fine, they were both fine with the stinging in their throats, because for once in both of their lives they each had a friend, someone to laugh with, and depend on. Dan had bad days, but a day was never bad when he was with Phil, it was like Phil a magical power that allowed him to brighten any of Dan's days. 

     There was a consequence though, a down side to the beauty of it all. It made being alone that much hard for Dan, when Dan wasn't with Phil he was never okay, but he didn't want to think about that right now. He just wanted to focus on the now, Phil was coming over for dinner, then on Friday, Dan would come over to Phil's in the morning, and they would go skating and spend the whole day and night together and Dan wouldn't be alone.

     The clock inched closer to six so he and Phil decided to get going, Dan grabbed his bag and the two walked down the stairs, side by side.

     "Leaving already?" Phil's Dad asked.

     "Yes, it's almost six," Phil said.

     "I suppose it is."

     "You two have fun, I'll see you later tonight Phil, and we'll see you Friday Daniel!" Phil's mum added.

     "See ya," the two said in sync and they all laughed.

     He and Phil were back in Phil's car and were heading to Dan's, the sun wasn't quite set yet, but it would be soon. Dan's anxiety, that previously had been gone because of Phil's distracting, had now come back in full force as he awaited his arrival to his house.

     After the 15 minute ride there, Phil parked in front of the house like always and the two got out. Phil gave Dan a sympathetic look as they walked up to the porch, Dan knew he was probably trying to help Dan ease his nerves, and Phil did, but his nerves still lingered there slightly.

     Dan knocked on the door and the waited, hearing the sounds of pans being placed down and feet shuffling to the door.

     When the door opened, Dan's heart sunk to the floor. His mum was standing there, eyes bloodshot, radiating drunkeness. 

     "Ish it six already! God ish this the fag you've been hanging out with Danny!" She said, slurring her words together in a sound Dan knew all too much.

     Dan looked over to Phil, sending him a sorrowful look, but Phil sent one right back, knowing that this was exactly what Dan feared.

     "Excuse me? Are you drunk! You told me you would be sober today! You can't have me invite my friend over and end up being drunk and insulting him!" Dan said, sounding hurt and angry.

     "Dan, it's okay, I won't take it personally," Phil said, trying to comfort Dan who was obviously distressed.

     "Daniel don't get mad at me, I'm the adult here! I can say what I want! I have slaved over dinner all day for you! You need to appreciate me!" She said, sternly.

     She stepped back, stumbling to the kitchen and Dan followed suite, stomping on the ground as he walked, knowing Phil followed quickly behind him.

     "You know what mum! I'm done with you're bull shit okay? Just because you are drunk and 'an adult' does not give you the right to insult people the way a child would! I don't care if you have been slaving over dinner today because you should have kept you're promise! You shouldn't have drank! Now you have called the only friend I have a Fag and I'm not going to take it! I trusted you not to drink guess I can't trust my own mum huh?" Dan let out.

     There was a pause and everyone was silent till his mum started crying.

     "Danny... I'm...I'm sorry... can we talk over here for a second?" She said, pointing to the living room.

     She sniffed and walked over there after Dan had nodded, Dan following close behind her, shooting Phil a quick apologetic glance.

     "Daniel I'm sorry," she said calmly as if she had given up the battle.

      Dan sighed.

     "I... tried not to, I really did...but there was this lady at the grocery store and she... and she... she just shtressed me out... I couldn't help it. I'm sorry Danny... I'll make it up to you," her words were slurred and hard to make out with her sobbing.

     Dan was upset, but he knew he wouldn't stay mad at her, he knows she has to go through a lot. That doesn't mean he isn't still mad at her, but he knew he couldn't keep yelling at her.

     "Dinner is almost done... you know how to finish it, I taught you... you can finish it and you and Phil can have dinner... I'll just go to shleep," she said, still crying.

     "I just wanted Phil to have a good impression of you... and I just wanted you to like him," Dan said in defeat.

     "I know honey... I do like him, he seems nice, you too seem good together... I'm sorry about what I have said about him."

     "It's alright, I just hope one day you are sober enough to tell him yourself... I'll go finish dinner, you get some sleep."

     She kissed Dan on the forehead and walked away. He walked back towards Phil, who was obviously trying not to eavesdrop from the kitchen. Dan sighed as he came close to Phil.

     "It's okay Dan, I understand she goes through a lot, I'm not offended, honestly... she should have tried harder though, for you. I know this night was important to you, but don't worry about me, if anyone should be hurt it should be you, but you about yourself not me," Phil said, being a bit flustered at the end, struggling to make the sentence make sense, but Dan knew exactly what he mean't.

     Dan finally allowed himself to break down, he huffed out a whine and went over to Phil, where he proceeded to collapse into his arms. Phil just held Dan without question and Dan felt a bit better. Dan began to wonder if this is what it was like to have a friend, to have someone always there to hold you, but he also wondered what that would be like if he and Phil were more than friends.

     Dan finally remembered the dish being cooked on the hot stove. Dan stood up fully and broke from Phil's arms, whispering a soft, "Thank you," and proceeded to the stove.

     He examined the dish to see just how far his mum had gotten, Phil appeared behind Dan looking at him with interest.

     "My mum and I used to cook together, so I know how to make some of our favorite dishes," Dan said, reading Phil's question just from his looks.

     "Wow, that's great! I wish I could cook, too clumsy though. Knowing me, I would probably spill boiling water on myself," Phil laughed out.

     "Well you could help me finish this dish, I promise I'll make sure you don't get burnt," Dan said, smiling over to Phil.

     For once since they arrived at Dan's, Dan felt happy, him teaching Phil to cook seemed so domestic. Phil's face lit up and Dan took that as a yes from Phil.

    "Okay, so, we have to transfer what's in this pan to the pan next to it," Dan said leading Phil to the stove, Dan stood behind Phil as it just felt right right.

     Guiding Phil's hand to the rubber handle, Phil took the handle in his hand and Dan steadied Phil's hand as Phil lifted the heavy pan and slowly poured it into the other pan.

     Dan blushed at the contact he was creating with Phil, but he couldn't help it, and he hoped Phil wasn't uncomfortable, but when Dan caught a glimpse of Phil's face, it showed he was smiling and enjoying himself.

     "Okay, now we'll turn the heat down to medium," Dan said, reaching to the nobs to change the heat, "and we will stir slowly, so the sauce doesn't pop out if the pan and burn you."

     Dan handed Phil a long wooden spoon and together they stirred the ingredients of the pan slowly. 

     Dan backed up now so he wasn't pressed up against Phil's back, and tried to ignore the redness that brushed his cheeks, and said, "Perfect! Now we let it cook down in the sauce for five minutes and we're done, so how about we set the table and get drinks?"

     Phil nodded, still smiling and Dan thought he could see a pink tinge to Phil's cheeks, but he decided to ignore it, they walked over to the table and moved the centerpiece that was placed in the middle and set two chairs facing each other. They proceeded back into the kitchen to grab napkins and silverware. Phil went to set them at the table and Dan grabbed two cokes from the fridge, pouring each into glasses.

     After it had been five minutes Dan grabbed the wooden spoon with his left hand, stirring the pot slightly and deciding it was done. Phil grabbed their plates and Dan served them. Dan took his plate and they went and sat at the table.

     The rest of the night as they ate, they were making each other laugh and just talked, trying not to be too loud. Dan loved it, it was like he and Phil never ran out of things to say. After dinner Dan took his and Phil's plate to the sink, rinsing them and adding them to the dishwasher. He put away the leftovers from the meal and stuck the pans in the sink to be cleaned another time. 

     He and Phil just talked for the next ten minutes till they realized it was getting late and Phil decided he should head back home. Dan led Phil to the door and opened it for him.

     "Despite everything that happened with your mum tonight, I still had a great night, thank you for dinner, and thank your mum for me as well later," Phil said, standing close to Dan in the doorway.

     "It was no problem, I'm just glad you aren't upset with me over inviting you here tonight," Dan said.

     "I could never get upset with you over something like that," Phil added smiling softly, his lips slightly shinny from him previously licking them.

     Suddenly the space between them felt very small, and Dan stared into Phil's eyes for what felt like forever. There was silence between the two and Dan didn't know what it mean't, but then Phil broke their gaze and turned a little red.

     "Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow," Phil said and Dan said his goodbyes to Phil and Phil left.

     Dan closed the door and smiled.

     God he really did love Phil Lester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's been a couple days huh? I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took a while to write and it's slightly longer than my usual ones, tell me what you all thought about it!  
> I am sorry to say that I will be busy, without service, for the rest of the week, I will really try to get a chapter up Friday, but if not then Sunday at the latest (...I hope). Thanks for reading thus far!


	12. A City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it has been so long, I tried to write this chapter as fast as possible.

**Dan's POV**  
  
    The next few days passed on slowly, Dan had been looking forward to Friday, so much that the days felt like years leading up to it. That night after Phil left, Dan cleaned up the kitchen and tried to get to bed, but his mind wandered, thinking about him being so close to Phil so many times that night.

     The night didn't go how it was supposed to, but Dan has always been told that everything happens for a reason. He was still mad at his mum, but he thought, maybe his mum being weak helped Dan and Phil become closer that night.

     Dan stayed up, laying in his bed that night, pondering about his mum and how she was, if she was genuinely sorry. He also began to ponder on about his feelings for Phil. He knew from the beginning he liked Phil, but not being able to resist pressing as close to Phil as he could while he taught Phil to cook and how he wanted to lean in and taste the glossy lips that had only been inches away when they stood at the door made Dan realize how much his heart opened to love Phil.

     Dan had never loved anyone, never knew what love felt like, yet with Phil, everything seemed perfect and he felt a pull, a connection between them and he wondered if Phil felt it too. Dan didn't want to put too much hope into the idea that Phil may like Dan back, but Dan would be lying if he said that wasn't a pleasant thought to ponder.

     With new thoughts of love filling Dan's mind and clouding his eyes as he looked at Phil's beautiful features in the few days leading to Friday, Dan felt himself draw deeper and deeper into his love for Phil. As they would walk down the halls and sit with each other at lunch, Dan would feel himself get sucked into Phil's ocean he calls eyes as if they were hurricanes. Dan longed to be able to stare into those eyes forever, for those eyes to look back at him in a way that said, 'I love you too,' but that wouldn't happen. Phil was straight, and Dan was just his friend.

     Dan drifted through his classes, paying attention just enough to be able to complete his work being assigned to him. Tuesday when Dan came home after school his mum had apologized yet again, saying how sorry she felt for doing that to Dan. Dan, well Dan accepted the apology, like he always does when his mum messes up. Dan walked over to his mum and let her arms wrap around him and he sighed as he smelt the bitter alcohol on her breath.

     Dan locked himself in his room, not wanting to be out with his mum that night, so he finished homework, texted Phil, and scrolled through Instagram and Tumblr to pass the time of the night. When he knew his mum was asleep, he went out and made himself left overs. 

     It was the same routine the next few days till it was finally Friday night. Phil and Dan had been texting all evening from getting home from school till then. Phil went off to eat dinner and watch a movie with his family, so Dan decided to go collect his laundry from the dryer that he had done earlier that day. He placed the clothes into a hamper and took them to his room. He excitedly grabbed a small duffel bag that he had owned forever and began placing a change of clothes, pajamas, and other things he would need over at Phil's on it. He left out an outfit for the next day and hung the rest up.

     He decided to shower to kill some time, so he hopped in and washed up a little longer than usual. After changing into pajamas and combing through his hair, he set out all the things he would need in the morning so they were in a nice pile to pack up after using them. Dan grabbed a small meal to hold him over till the morning and went back to him room. 

     He sat at his desk while he ate and played on his phone, once he was done eating and had cleaned up, he finally got a text from Phil saying that the movie was over. It was getting late, but not late enough that Dan would be very tired. It was about 10. Phil said his parents had gone to bed right after the movie and Dan told Phil his mum had been asleep for hours.

 **Phil:** She really does go to sleep early huh?

 **Dan:** She sleeps all day, it's the alcohol

 **Phil:** Yea, I suppose so mate

 **Dan:** What time are you picking me up tomorrow?

 **Phil:** Whenever you want me to, I'm fine picking you up whenever, you want to eat breakfast here? 

 **Dan:** I usually don't eat breakfast so it's fine. I don't want to be a bother

 **Phil:** Dan you are not a bother here! Also breakfast is important, you need to eat it

 **Dan:** Phil seriously, it is alright, just pick me up after you all eat.

 **Phil:** Nope, sorry mate. I'll be there at 8, I'll tell my mum you are eating breakfast with us in the morning.

 **Dan:** Huhhhhhh Phillll

 **Phil:** Don't huhhhhhh me! 

 **Dan:** Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Phil:** It's times like these that I remember you are only 14

 **Dan:** Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Phil:** Such a child! I'm going to bed!

 **Dan:** Awee ok

 **Phil:** You need sleep too, you better be ready to go at 8, I'll see you in the morning, good night, go to sleep!

 **Dan:** I willll, night Phil

     Dan smiled down at his phone, Dan had grown to be mature all the time, being surrounded by the harsh world his whole life, but with Phil he could be whatever. If he wanted to be childish and act like a boy around Phil, he could, and Phil wouldn't mind. So Dan set an alarm for 7:30, plugged his phone in, brushed his teeth, and curled up into his bed. Reassured by the fact he would see Phil so early in the morning, he drifted off easily for once in a very long time.

***

     There was a buzzing coming from beside Dan, he opened his eyes and remembered the alarm. He turned off the alarm and remembered what day it was, he quickly hopped out of bed in excitement and went to go get ready. He pulled on his clothes that he had already set out, he went to the toilet and then did his hair and brushed his teeth. Grabbing his overnight bag he swiped all his stuff off the counter and went back to his room. 

    He grabbed chargers and earbuds and put them inside, zipping up the bag. By this point it was 7:53 and Dan checked his phone to see a message from Phil that had come through a few minutes prior.

 **Phil:** On my way

     Dan pulled on shoes and waited a few minutes for another text.

 **Phil:** Outside

     Dan's heart jumped at the message and so did he. He knew his mum wasn't up yet so he scribbled out a note telling her he would be home later the next day. He grabbed his overnight bag and rushed out of the house. He opened the front door quietly and stepped out, slowly closing it and running out into the road to the passenger side of Phil's car.

     "In a rush are we?" Phil joked.

     "Oh shut up you spork," Dan said, playfully pushing Phil's side as he placed his bag on the ground and buckled in.

     Phil just laughed, and began to pull away, "Oh, I know! You are just really hungry, that's why you were in a rush," Phil said, still laughing.

     "No!," Dan said.

     "Well, if you aren't starving, then why would you be running out of your house to my car," Phil teased.

     "Phillll!"

     "Okay, okay I'll stop, I know you just miss me," Phil said continuing to laugh as he drove.

     Dan kept laughing, but he was trying to conceal the blush on his cheeks as he really did miss Phil and had been looking forward to this day for what felt like forever. Phil's smile as he teased Dan was so fantastic that Dan couldn't help but stare every once in a while. Phil's lips as they curled upwards and parted to reveal his teeth was what shined a light on Dan's day. Day, who hadn't quite woken up yet, was now wide awake just from Phil's sun like presence, and Dan swore Phil shined brighter than the sun ever could. While Dan could feel dark on a sunny day, Dan could never feel dark on a day he was with Phil.

     Dan became more and more excited as they inched closer to Phil's house, Dan loved Phil's parents and was so grateful that they were allowing him to come ice skating with them that day. He and Phil sang on the drive over and continued to tease each other. Any time Phil was at a stop, Dan noticed Phil would be staring at Dan. Every time Dan caught him, his heart would do a dance, knowing Phil's beautiful blue eyes had decided to gaze upon Dan.

     They finally pulled into Phil's garage and as per their routine, they got out, Phil locked the car, and they walked to the door to get inside. They were then greeted by Phil's mum and the glorious smell of breakfast from inside. It had been slightly chilly that morning, so Phil's mum quickly swooped them inside and hugged them both, Phil first, then Dan. She kissed Dan's forehead and told him how happy she was to see him. 

     Phil's dad was already at the table, reading a paper, he looked up and smiled at the two, who were now walking in sync to the table. Phil's mum had taken Dan's bag and set in down on the first stair. The two sat down where they usually did, brushing their arms together as they sat, both moving their chairs so they were slightly closer to each other without realizing.

     "Morning Phil. Morning Dan, pleasure to have you with us this morning," Phil's dad said in his slight northern accent.

     "Thank you for having me!" Dan said cheerily.

     Phil's mum sat all the dishes of food in the center of the table and everyone began to serve themselves. Dan had made himself a small plate of food till Phil complained that he wasn't eating enough and proceeded to add more food to Dan's plate. Dan ate as much of it as he could while he and Phil's family had a pleasant conversation about the plans for the day, the weather, and Dan's week.

     About 40 minutes later they were all done and were helping put food away and clean the dishes they had used to eat. Dan noticed the color change of the kitchen walls and thought the color choice was definitely a good one.

     "The walls look so nice mum, they compliment the kitchen so much," Dan said excitedly.

     "Thank you honey, and thank you for your suggestion, I really think the color turned out well," She said.

     "It did!" Dan said and Phil laughed at the conversation he was having with Phil's mum. 

     He and Phil made their way upstairs, still having an hour to kill. Dan brought his bag up and set it in the corner of Phil's room. Phil jumped onto his bed and Dan quickly followed, falling next to Phil from the opposite end of the bed. The two boys head's were next to each other and they both turned to look at each other. Dan melted into Phil's gaze and they sat like that for a few minutes.

     "I'm really excited for today!" Phil said, breaking the silence.

     "Me too! I have never skated though, so I am going to be rubbish."

     "Don't worry, I'll help you through it, once you get the hang of balancing on them, and you understand how to move your feet, you'll be fine. It'll be fun, I love ice skating, I have never gone skating with a friend or anything before, I bet it'll be more fun having someone to talk to!" Phil said, his eyes lighting up as he talked about ice skating, something he obviously loved.

     "I'm sure it will, and I'm glad I have you to teach me, or else I probably would end up breaking a bone or something," Dan joked.

     "It's a bit cold today, and the place is inside and has to be kept pretty cool, do you have a jacket?" Phil asked, sitting up.

     Dan, who was wearing a grey t-shirt and black ripped skinny jeans realized in his rush he hadn't thrown on a jacket, so he answered with a simple, "No."

     "Then I'll grab you one of mine, I'm sure you'll fit," Phil said, walking to his closet.

     Dan sat up now, turning to face the closet, he wanted to tell Phil not to worry about it, that he would be fine, but he couldn't get over having Phil's jacket to keep him warm. He thought of the smell of Phil surrounding him on all sides and he knew his cheeks were now glowing pink. Phil turned around holding a white bomber jacket with red and blue stripes down the arms and a pattern down the front in one hand, and a dark red bomber jack in the other. He walked over to Dan and handed him the dark red one, and proceeded to sit on the bed, facing Dan. He put on the white, red, and blue one and leaned back against the wall. 

     "Thank you," was all Dan could manage to say.

     "No problem mate! I don't want you getting cold, ice skating while you're cold is actually the worst," Phil said, his smile still as prominent as ever.

     The two chatted till it was time to leave and Phil's mum was calling them both downstairs, Dan looked into Phil's mirror and fixed his curly hair really fast and threw on Phil's jacket, immediately feeling safe with the thick smell of Phil that radiated from the jacket. He smiled and caught up with Phil, who was now leaving the room. They walked down the stairs quickly and hurried to the garage door. Phil's mum unlocked her car and the two went over to it and hopped in, Phil sitting on the right, and Dan on the left. 

     Phil's mum got in on the drivers side and started the car once Phil's dad had gotten in. Dan tapped his foot in nervous excitement. The rink was farther into town than where the Lesters lived so it would be about a thirty minute drive. They could have taken the tube, but Phil's mum informed him that she, in fact, hates the tube and would much rather pay for gas. 

      The ride there actually felt short by the end, though, many car rides with others families were awkward, but with Phil's family, all four of them talked as though Dan was part of the family. They didn't sit in silence for even a minute of the car ride because one of them always had something to say to keep the conversation going. It had been an extremely long time since Dan had gone deep into the city like this, seeing the buildings and parks, statues and landmarks, it was all such an old memory to him.

     Dan stared out the window in awe of the sights around him as they inched their way through traffic closer to the rink. 

     "Has it been a while since you have been into town?" Phil asked.

     "Yeah, I haven't gone in years, my mum goes alone sometimes, but she tries to go as little as possible," Dan said.

     "So you don't really know much about town huh?" Phil asked.

     "No, not really, it's all really pretty though," Dan said.

     "Well I'm going to have to bring you out here more and show you everything my parents have shown me," Phil said.

     "That's a wonderful idea, you could be his tour guide!" Phil's mum said with excitement.

      Phil unbuckled himself and moved into the small seat, that was between him and Phil. Phil buckled back up and began to point at the window, pressing up against Dan smiling. He began naming out different landmarks they passed by, telling Dan a little about them. He named out different buildings and parks while they drove. Phil grabbed the back of Dan's hand and guided it to the window to point, so he knew that Dan knew what they were pointing at. It all felt so perfect and Dan almost forgot Phil's parents were there till he heard the soft hum coming from Phil's mum.

      "One day soon we'll take the tube over to the center of the city and I'll show you it all! We'll spend the day out here!" Phil said and Dan smiled and nodded when he turned to face Phil, who was now suspiciously close to Dan, still sitting in the middle seat, their sides pressed up against each other.

      Phil didn't move, back to his other seat that is, he just stayed pressed up against Dan looking out the window with him.

      "It's so beautiful, the city, I want to live here one day, get an apartment and just experience the deep city life, it's really expensive though," Phil said.

      "It would be nice to live here," Dan said.

      "Oh we are just about here!" Phil's mum said, pointing to a building in the distance. 

      After a minute she pulled into a parking lot and parked a few parking spots away from the entrance. She turned off he car and they all got out. They pulled out a pair of skates from the trunk, presumably Phil's, and they proceeded into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So I know it has been a while but I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I really wanted to get the ice skating in this chapter, but the chapter kept getting longer and longer and it is getting pretty late here so I decided to wait. I promise you will get the ice skating sometime tomorrow (Monday) though, don't worry, it'll be worth the wait! Tell me what you thought!


	13. A Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Sorry that there has been so much of Dan's POV I just really wanted the ice skating to be in his point of view but I keep accidentally stalling, so you will get Phil's POV finally in the next chapter!

**Dan's POV**

 

The building was fairly large, but Dan had never been to another ice skating rink to compare this one too. They walked into the lobby, Phil walking close enough to Dan that their hands brushed as they walked, sending sparks all the way up Dan's arm. Phil's mum gave the lady at the front desk their tickets and they proceeded to a stand that read 'Skate Rentals'. Phil's parents and Dan collected their skates in their shoe sizes and they walked over to a set of benches. 

     Phil sat down and began to put on and lace up his clean white skates. Phil's parents did the same, but Dan just sat next to Phil and took off his shoes, trying to watch as the others put on their shoes so he would know how to lace them up. Once he got his shoes off, he slipped his unlaced skates on and began to tighten the bottom part that had already been laced. It took Dan a while to tighten the thick, clunky skates and even then he hadn't stated lacing up the top. Phil's parents finished lacing up their shoes and put their stuff in a small cupboard and went to the rink to begin skating.

     Phil turned to Dan and asked, "You need help? These shoes are a bit hard to lace, especially the rentals."

     Dan nodded helplessly and let go of the laces that were tangling in his hand. Phil smiled and let a small, heart melting, giggle and proceeded to get off the bench and onto his knees next to Dan. Dan gulped at the sight, but quickly looked away as Phil grabbed the laces of Dan's left skate and began lacing it up tightly.

     "Why did you look away? Is getting your laces tied a scary process?" Phil laughed out.

     Dan turned red and faced Phil, covering up his checks and whispered out a slight, "No."

     Phil just giggled, "I hope they aren't too tight, they are supposed to be pretty tight, if they aren't then you could hurt your ankles, but I don't want to hurt you by making them too tight."

     "No they are fine," Dan said.

     "Alright!"

     Phil tied the left shoe in a double knot and proceed to the right shoe, sliding over a bit to get closer to it. Every once in a while Phil's hand would brush over Dan's leg, and once Phil was done, he pushed and tucked in the bottoms of Dan's jeans into the skates and stood up. He smiled and reached out and Dan took his hands. Phil pulled a bit and helped lift Dan from the bench and Phil's grip tightened to make sure Dan wouldn't fall. 

     Phil moved his tight grip to Dan's wrists and helped him situate his feet so that he stood in the same stance as Phil, feel shoulder width apart and ankles leaning inwards, not out, so that Dan would balance and not fall over before he even got on the ice. After a few seconds of that, Dan tried to take a step with Phil, Phil stepped back with his left foot and Dan followed forward with his right.

     This pattern continued till they reached the entrance to the rink, Dan was steadier on his feet now that he had been walking with Phil. 

     Phil let go of Dan's wrists and said, "You think you are ready to get on the ice?" 

     "I suppose so, as long as you help me get the hang of it," Dan said taking a few steps without Phil's help.

     "I will, don't worry, when you are ice skating it is just like walking, but drag your feet instead of lifting them, just kind of push yourself from side to side, here I'll show you."

     Phil stepped up onto the ice and then reached out to Dan, Phil took Dan's hands in his own and Dan melted again at the warm touch. He placed one of Dan's hands down on the ledge of the rink and the other one he held as he pulled Dan to take a step onto the ice. Dan did and moved his left foot to the ice, and then his right. Immediately he felt himself tighten his grip on Phil and the wall to steady himself on the slippery ice. 

     He began drifting back a little so Phil helped push him closer to the wall so he could hold on with both sides. Dan frantically held on, trying his hardest not to let his feet slide out from underneath him. 

     "You'll get used to the slippery feeling after a bit, just hold onto the wall, the wall will be your best friend till you get used to the ice. Watch me, I'll show you how to move your feet," Phil said.

      Phil began to slowly move forward, showing how one foot would move forward to the side as the other pushed off and repeated the process to keep Phil slowly gliding forward. His tall, slim body swayed back and forth in the direction his feet moved in. He did a spin, which impressed Dan, as he couldn't even walk in skates, let alone spin. Phil skated back over to where Dan was and stopped, holding onto the wall, in front of Dan. 

     "How about you give it a try?" Phil asked.

     Dan nodded and began pushing his right foot forward, then his left, but he wasn't really moving as he was too nervous to really push off, in fear of falling. Phil squatted slightly and put his hands on Dan's waist.

     "Keep holding onto the wall but, start pushing off with your feet, don't be afraid of it, I'll help pull you so you get the hang of actually moving forward," Phil said reassuringly. 

     Dan began pushing off again and Phil's hands pulled him forward, helping his sway from side to side to help him balance. Dan's feet got the hang of the movement as he mimicked what Phil's feet had been doing and Dan was finally able to make himself move forward on his own. He still didn't have great balance though, so Phil kept his grip on Dan's waist and Dan tried his hardest not to blush when Phil's fingers slightly moved against Dan's shirt.

     Phil looked up at Dan with proud eyes as Dan began getting more comfortable with the movements and said, "That's it, look at you!" 

     Dan smiled down at Phil, proud of himself as well. They were moving pretty slow though, which probably would have been irritating to some people, but luckily they came early enough that the rink wasn't too busy. Every once in a while Phil's parents came by and spoke to them for a few seconds as they passed by. They never questioned Phil's grip on Dan's waist though, which is what Dan had been afraid of. He knew that it was Phil's choice to keep his hands gripped to Dan, but he didn't want Phil's parents to think of him differently. 

     Maybe Dan was just overthinking it all, he knew Phil was just trying to help him skate, but Dan couldn't help but keep thinking about Phil's tight grip on his sides and how nice it felt to have the warmth there. Stuck in his own thought, he din't realize which foot was proceeding forward and accidentally tripped on his own foot, causing him to lose his balance, but Phil was there and just re-positioned Dan so he was standing entirely upright. In doing so Phil stood up fully so he was not leaning over anymore. 

     They were extremely close and Phil let go of his grip on Dan and backed away about a foot. 

     "You seemed to be getting the hang of it, but you have to concentrate or you'll lose your balance like that," Phil said nicely, reassuring Dan he wasn't angry with his little trip.

     "Yeah sorry, I just got caught up in my thoughts, but I think I have got the basic movements now," Dan said.

     "Great! So how about you start going around without my help?" Phil said.

     Dan would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed to not have Phil's touch guiding him, but he knew Phil's proud gaze would be just as worth it when Dan finally got the hang of it.

     "Sure!" 

     "Okay, you can still hold onto the wall till you think you are ready to go off the wall."

     "Alright, I'll try"

    Phil did a quarter turn and skated backwards so he was skating in front, and facing, Dan. Dan moved his feet to push off in the way Phil had taught him and the two moved around the rink a bit faster than they had before. Phil was smiling at Dan and Dan was grinning at the progress he was making on the skates. 

      "How am I doing?" Dan asked.

      "Perfect," Was all Phil said, still smiling.

      "Come on, I'm not that good," Dan said.

      "But you are making so much progress so fast, you're pretty much a natural at it," Phil grinned.

      "No, I just had a great teacher, Mr. Lester," Dan said and Phil laughed, "I think I'm ready to stop holding onto the wall."

      The were both still moving while they spoke, and finally Dan lifted his hands from the wall and wobbled a bit. He stuck his arms out to catch his balance and continued moving, despite his lack of balance. Phil saw this and quickly grabbed Dan's wrists, but it was too late and Dan's feet were slipping out from under him. Dan began falling forward and in the chaos Phil managed to drop to the ground and slide under Dan in an effort to reach out and catch Dan. 

     Once the situation calmed down the two realized that Phil was sitting on the floor of the ice skating rink with Dan in his lap, Phil's arms wrapped underneath him. Dan's head had fallen into the space between Phil's neck and shoulder as Dan breathed heavily from the adrenaline caused by the fall. Phil's breathing was heavy as well and Dan felt him lift his head, that was looking down at Dan's body, he was cradling, to turn to Dan's head. Dan looked up from the safety of Phil's neck, to see Phil looking at him, their cheeks both very much so red, as their lips sat only a couple inches away from each other.

     Dan stared down at Phil's glossy lips as Phil licked them, and they sat there for a second, still in shock by the fall. It registered in Dan's mind that Phil had managed to turn Dan onto his side as he fell to be able to catch him safely, and Dan hoped Phil didn't get hurt trying to catch Dan. It was then he realized he should probably move so he was not so close to Phil's tempting lips. 

     He let himself roll onto the icy floor and out of Phil's lap, he sighed and crawled closer to the wall.

     "Dan are you okay?" Phil said, concern in his voice.

     "I'm fine, are you? You didn't have to catch me," Dan said, holding onto the wall and pulling himself up so he could stand. 

     Phil jumped up and glided next to Dan, he grabbed Dan's wrists and didn't stop himself from gliding right into Dan, slowly and it didn't hurt, but he still stopped right against Dan. Dan blushed as he looked Phil up and down, there was worry written all over Phil's face, which confused Dan, because Phil was the one who should be worried about.

     "I'm fine, over the years I have taught myself to fall to where it doesn't hurt, but are you absolutely sure you are okay?" Phil said with desperation in his voice.

     Dan's mind was still filled with thoughts of how close to two were, Dan wasn't holding onto the wall, but Phil had his arms and was keeping him upright. He and Phil were looking each other right in the eye, a moment that would have been awkward for many, but for some reason, didn't feel awkward between them, but what was awkward was the way Dan's face lit up with the contact. Phil looked so distressed, but all Dan could think about was the tips of their shoes and how they were connected.

     "I'm fine Phil, honestly," He said looking down at the grip Phil had on Dan's wrists.

     Phil followed Dan's gaze and immediately let go, he let out a sigh of relief before backing up two steps and saying nervously, " Good... I'm sorry I guess I just got a little scared there... you know, I don't want you to get hurt your first time skating and then never want to do it again... yeah." 

     Dan held onto the wall as Phil let out a nervous laugh, he didn't know why Phil was so nervous, did he know Dan liked him? Did he feel awkward because he knew Dan was thinking about how close they had just been? Dan started becoming nervous himself, his breathing becoming slightly heavier. He tried to tell himself that maybe Phil just thought Dan was upset with him, and that he should try to comfort Phil, telling him that it's okay and that he is okay, but he couldn't help the thought that Phil was upset with him.

     "Don't worry, one fall wouldn't stop me from skating with you ever again," Dan said, his voice slightly revealing the panic he felt creating a fake smile on his face.

     Phil visibly looked relieved, not picking up on the anxiety let out in Dan's last response.

     "Really? Okay, sorry about getting so worked up about that, I tend to do that," Phil laughed out. 

     A real one that time, and the soft, yet deep, laugh that came from Phil made Dan relax, that laugh was a sign that everything was fine, that Phil was calm and not mad at Dan. Dan knew it was ridiculous to think Phil would be mad at him, but in the moment it was all he could think was possible. 

     "So you are sure you are okay? You don't want to sit down for a bit?" Phil asked.

     Dan laughed, "I'm sure I'm fine, and no, I want to be able to skate decently by the end of this trip, so let's keep going. I know what I did wrong that last time, I let one of my legs stay too far back as I pushed off, I think I can do it now!" Dan said excitedly and Phil's face lit up with excitement.

     Phil began to push off and Dan started to push off after him till they were side by side, Dan was still pretty slow, and a little wobbly, but he was skating without holding on. He found comfort in the fact that Phil was skating next to him though, and it allowed him to free his worries. Dan's mind was still filled with the visions of Phil, close and concerned, but he tried to ignore them.

     They did one more lap around the rink, Dan becoming slightly faster and used to the motion as they went along till they were met by Phil's parents who sat on the other side of the walls, on a bench. They were calling the two over, so they skated over to the nearest exit and began walking over to Phil's parents. 

     "Dan you are getting so good out there for someone who has never skated before!" Phil's mum said, hugging Dan.

     "Thanks mum."

     "Would you two like anything to drink? Something to warm you up? You two seem so cold," She said.

     "We aren't too cold, as we have been moving around, but I could take a coffee," Phil answered.

     "And you Dan?" Phil's mum asked.

     "Oh I'm fine," He responded.

     "Are you sure?"

     "Ye-" Dan said before being interrupted by Phil.

     "Just get him a hot chocolate, he's not big on coffee."

     "Alright," Phil mum said, walking over to a concession stand.

     Phil and Dan sat down on the bench to rest and wait for their drinks. Dan looked over to Phil and said, "You know I really didn't need that."

     "Yes you did, you were shivering earlier," Phil said, giving Dan a cheeky grin.

     "I was not!"

     "Hmm, maybe I imagined it, either way, you'll thank me," Phil said, still smiling his bright smile as Dan shook his head in defeat. 

     "Hey dad, where are we going after this?" Phil asked.

     "Probably somewhere close by to eat, what sounds good?" Phil's dad asked.

     "I don't know, what ever sounds good to you and mum, I'll probably work up and appetite once I start really skating."

     "You mean you weren't  _really_ skating before!?" Dan asked.

     "You haven't seen anything yet Howell," Phil said with a laugh as his dad chuckled in the background at their banter.

     "Oh really now? Then how about you show me?" Dan challenged.

     "Oh, I will," Phil said standing up.

     Dan stood up as well, Phil walked over to the entrance and Dan stepped over the bench to lean against the wall of the rink to watch as Phil stepped in and began to skate. He turned back right before taking off to shoot Dan a smirk. Phil then took off, skating fast and low to the ground, picking up his feet as he went, like he was running on the ice. He took corners easily as he cross stepped over them. He seemed to be getting faster and faster till he was coming up to where Dan was. As soon as he got close he spun around, completing four rotations around himself and stopping abruptly, kicking ice up with his momentum. 

     Dan stood there in awe of Phil's speed and coordination. Phil smiled and stuck his tongue out at Dan in victory and began slowly back to the exit. When he came out Dan stepped over the bench and sat back down, Phil sitting next to him.

     "How about that?" Phil asked.

     "Amazing!" Dan responded.

     In that moment Phil's mum walked back over, holding a drink carrier with drinks for all of them, she handed Phil his coffee and Dan his hot chocolate and he melted into the warmth that radiated from the cup. Even though the liquid was very hot, Dan still couldn't help but drink it to warm himself up. 

     "See," Phil said with a laugh.

     "Oh be quiet!" Dan said as he enjoyed his warm drink. 

     He and Phil conversed on the bench while finishing up their drinks. After they quickly hurried back onto the ice. Dan, who was now used to skating was trying his absolute hardest to get faster so he could keep up with Phil, who kept skating too fast and having to turn around and go back for Dan. Eventually Dan was comfortably skating at a decent speed and Phil clapped along in excitement.

     "Look at you go Dan!"

     "I know!"

     "Here, wanna try something fun?" Phil asked.

     "Sure!"

     Phil grabbed Dan's left hand in Phil's right and began to skate. It took Dan a second to realize what was happening, but once he knew they were going he held onto Phil's hand and kept skating. 

     "When I say let go, you let go okay?" Phil said and Dan nodded.

     They picked up speed and when they came to a corner Phil threw the arm, that was holding onto Dan's hand, forward and yelled, "Let go!"

     Dan went flying down the stretch of ice, taking the next corner fast and continuing to the next. Phil, who had cut through the middle of the rink, was now in front of Dan on the stretch he was taking. When Dan got close to Phil he had slowed down, he was laughing in joy and so was Phil, Phil put his arms out and caught Dan to stop him and they collided lightly. 

     They were both laughing and Dan said, "That was fun!" 

     "Yeah, tons!" 

     They continued laughing and going around the rink till it was time to go. They took one last lap around the rink and exited to the bench they had sat at earlier. They both took off their skates and Phil's mum took Dan's skates back to the rental booth. Once they all had their shoes on, they made their way back to the car. It was now one and they were all hungry, so they got in the car and headed to a nearby restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this, the boys are finally getting somewhere huh? I honestly didn't expect to drag this part of the story out so much but once I start writing, before I know it I have 3000 words and have to start a new chapter! Either way, I hope you liked this chapter, tell me what you thought!


	14. A Move

**Phil's POV**

 

Phil had been having so much fun skating with Dan and was almost upset when his parents said it was time to leave, but he knew he would still be spending the rest of the day, and night, with Dan. Phil hoped his huge crush on Dan was not obvious after how concerned he acted because of Dan's fall earlier that day, but Phil knew he couldn't have helped it, he cares too much about Dan to let him get hurt. Dan is hurt enough at home and Phil wants Dan to feel safe when he is with him. 

     After the fall though, Dan became much more confident with his skating and the two became more playful as they skated, purposefully bumping into each other, making jokes, and playing games. The two were acting so naturally, the way people who have known each other forever would act, yet the two had just barely met each other a little over a month ago. It was crazy for Phil to think back to when he first met the adorable, brown haired beauty that sat next to him in the car, and how close they have become since that moment. 

     Phil had never really had a best friend before, so he really didn't know if this is how they were supposed to act, he was too blinded by impulses to be close to Dan because of his affection towards him, that he didn't know if he was taking it too far. Normal friends might not always walk so close that their hands touch, or stand close enough that one wrong move meant the touching of lips between the two, but that was how he and Dan were. All day so far Phil had wanted to kiss Dan so many times, but out of fear of rejection and the loss of a friendship, Phil had not.

     Phil's mind had been wandering all day to fantasies of Dan actually liking him back, and what would happen next, but Phil new these fantasies would never come true and tried to stir them out of his mind. Phil decided against sitting in the middle next to Dan again out of fear of suspicion, so they both sat where they had when they first got in the car earlier.

     They only drove for a few minutes before pulling into a parking lot of a restaurant unfamiliar to Phil. They all got out of the car and walked inside, only waiting a few minutes before being walked over to a table. Apparently his parents ate at this restaurant before and thought it was quite good. The menu had pretty much anything you could think of and Phil was quite overwhelmed.

      In the end Phil picked something and was able to order. After they all ordered, the middle-aged waitress who took their orders said to Phil's parents, "You have two lovely young boys," and his parent's eyed each other, Phil's dad opened his mouth to dispute, but Phil's mum quickly interrupted him to say, "Why thank you."

     Once the lady had walked away, smiling contently, Phil and Dan burst out giggling. They didn't know what made that statement so funny, but Phil guessed the thought of them being brothers was just too funny, maybe it was funny to Phil because he liked Dan, but he couldn't say for Dan. 

     "Us-" Phil said through giggles.

     "Brothers!" Dan said, still giggling in a hushed restaurant voice. 

     "Why didn't you correct her?" Phil's Father asked, facing his mum.

     "Because, I would be proud if Daniel was my son, and even though he technically isn't, I still wanted to take the compliment, because he is a wonderful boy, and I am glad he's my son's best friend," Phil's mum said proudly.

     "Thank's mum," Dan said, still with a smile on his face and a few left over laughs.

     While waiting for their food he and Dan played with their silverware, trying to balance spoons on each others noses while Phil's parents laughed at their failed attempts.

     "This one is going to be it!" Dan said eagerly, "Stay still Phil!"

     Dan took the soup spoon and placed it on Phil's nose, tilting Phil's head back just slightly to try and find the perfect angle, and then let go. It stayed on Phil's nose for a second before falling into Phil's hands as he caught it. 

     "Not quite," Phil added.

     "So close!"

     The two just laughed, completely forgetting their ages and acting as if they were children again. They eventually got their food and stopped acting like 7 year-olds and just ate. When they were done Phil's parents paid and they left for the car. When they got inside Phil's dad and mum turned around to face the two boys.

     "You guys have anything in mind that you want to do? We don't really need to be home till like six," Phil's father said.

     "We could go see a movie, or go to a park," Phil said.

     "A movie sounds good," Phil's mum added.

     "Yeah, what do you think Dan?" Phil's dad asked.

     "I'm good with whatever, I'm just glad to be out with you all, a movie sounds fine," Dan said gratefully.

     Dan looked so happy to be just where he was every second of this day and Phil couldn't get enough of it, the smiles with dimples, the shimmer in his amber eyes, the curls the fell slightly onto his forehead, it was all enough to put Phil in a drunken haze. 

     Having decided to go see a movie before heading back to Phil's house, Phil's mum drove away in the direction of the nearest movie theater, one that Phil has, in fact, gone to before. When they got there they bought tickets, and essentials like popcorn, and found the theater for their movie. Phil's mum sat on the edge closest to the middle of the row of seats, his father to the left of her, then Phil, then Dan.

     Phil and Dan were sharing a popcorn while Phil's parents shared another. They had finally been situated and got comfortable and the movie began. The movie had been good and Phil enjoyed sitting so close to Dan, he had been tempted to lay his head on Dan's shoulder before realizing that Dan probably wouldn't like that. A few times during the movie Phil's hand brushed Dan's while reaching for the popcorn, causing Phil to blush, but it was dark so thankfully Dan wouldn't have been able to notice. 

     After the movie was entirely done, they left and decided to stop by one of Phil's favorite parks just for a few minutes. When they got there, there wasn't too many people, the sun would be setting in a bit less than two hours and many were already inside, where the wind couldn't hit them, and the smell of dinner cooking in the oven filled their noses. Phil liked to be out in the breezy weather though, and more than that, he was getting to show Dan one of his favorite spots. 

     "It's really pretty here," Dan said.

     "Yeah, it's even prettier at night, when all the city lights show from the tall buildings and the trees are lit with bulbs of every color," Phil said.

     "I bet!"

     "We'll get a hotel here one night, I'll show you all the city has to offer during the day, then I'll show you what it has to offer at night," Phil said calmly.

     "Really? Wouldn't that be expensive?" Dan asked.

     "Yeah, probably, but it'll only be one night, and everyone show experience the city at least once," Phil said.

     Dan nodded with a shiver.

     "Are you cold?" Phil asked.

     "A little, don't worry, I'll be fine," Dan answered.

     Phil wasn't buying it though, and he was pretty used to the cold fall air of London so he took of his jacket and began to put one of Dan's arms into it, "Here, wear this."

     "No, Phil won't you be cold then?" Dan asked.

     "I'm pretty used to it, and I'm wearing a jumper right now, so I'm quite cozy."

     With that Dan allowed Phil to fully put the jacket on him and they walked around the park a little before meeting Phil's parents and walking back towards the car. They got in and began their thirty minute drive back to Phil's home. They all sang songs as they came on the radio and talked about the day and what they would be having for dinner.

     "Would you boys like to help me with dinner tonight? It shouldn't be too hard, and should be pretty fun," Phil's mum asked.

     "That sounds great, I used to cook with my mum, but she doesn't really like cooking that much anymore," Dan said.

      "Well, I do like cooking, and I would love to cook with you," Phil's mum said.

     Phil had lots of fun cooking with Dan the previous time at Dan's house, even though they hadn't done that much, Dan did really seem to like cooking and, well, Phil wouldn't be opposed to cooking with him another time. The way Dan had helped Phil from behind when they cooked was intoxicating though, and Phil wished he could have that feeling again, even though he knew that Dan would probably not help out Phil in that way this time.

     When they had finally got home, Phil and Dan ran upstairs and took off their shoes, and plugged in their phones, they proceeded downstairs to find Phil's mum setting out the items they would need for dinner. The two washed their hands and began listening to Phil's mum's instructions as to what they would be doing. They each began cutting up some vegetables, which Phil had never done before and needed Dan to show him the proper way. Later they started working with the foods in pans on the stove, before finally needing to finish up the dish by putting it in the oven.

     "Alright, that will be about thirty in the stove, you two go run upstairs and kill the time, i'll holler when it's ready," Phil's mum said and the two boys nodded.

     They went upstairs and just played video games on Phil's consoles till it was time to eat, they ran downstairs and situated themselves at the table with Phil's dad. Phil's mum brought over the dish they helped make, and a side of toasted bread with butter. They all began to dig into the meal, making their plates and beginning to eat. The meal didn't involve too much conversation and before they knew it they were done. Phil and Dan helped clean up, like always, and Phil's parents said they would be going up to their room to watch the telly before bed. 

     Phil grabbed some water for him and Dan and they followed upstairs after Phil's parents. They both went into Phil's room and collapsed onto Phil's bed.

     "Such a long day," Phil said.

     "Yeah, my legs are sore, I never get that much exercise," Dan said and they both laughed.

     "I'm going to go brush my teeth, you want to as well?" Phil asked and Dan nodded, getting up and going to his bag. 

     Dan grabbed a toothbrush and toothpaste from his bag and Phil's turned around, ushering for Dan to follow him tot he bathroom. When they got there they just brushed their teeth, each taking turns using the sink. Dan finished up and rinsed his mouth out with water, then proceeded to yawn.

     "Are you tired? It isn't that late," Phil asked.

     "Not really, just a little, long day, you know?"

     They both walked back over to Phil's room and fell back onto Phil's bed, Phil didn't feel like changing into pajamas just yet, and it seemed as if Dan didn't either. They were both just laying next to each other, longways on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

     "I had a lot of fun today with you," Phil said.

     "Me too, I'm really glad you guys invited me," Dan said.

     "I'm glad you actually came, we did just barely meet when my mum invited you to come with us."

     "Yeah."

     "It's crazy to think we haven't even known each other two months and we are already this close," Phil added.

     "I don't know, as soon as I saw you at school that day, it was different, it felt different than when I had met anyone else," Dan pause, turning onto his side so he was facing Phil, and Phil turned onto his side as well, "Like... when I met you, something about you was just, I don't know how to explain it, like..."

     "Different," Phil said.

     "Yeah, and like I didn't see it then, but it was like a force, drawing me to you."

     "Like..." Phil knew he shouldn't say what he was about to, but he couldn't help it, "Love?"

     The two sat in silence a second, staring into each other's eyes as their chests touched when they took a breath because of how close they were.

     "You see, earlier today, at the ice skating rink when we were-" Phil added before being cut off.

     He wasn't cut off by Dan words though, he was cut off by something much more pleasant, much more intoxicating, much much more dreamlike. Dan had abruptly leaned in, his lips now on Phil's and Phil didn't know what to do. it was glorious, Dan's lips were soft and plump, and they felt like clouds up against Phil's lips. Phil found his senses and pushed slightly into the kiss, engaging in it so Dan knew he wanted it. 

     Phil could feel Dan breath slightly against him as their faces lay close to each other. After the short kiss Dan broke away, but didn't move away. Instead, he moved his whole body closer to Phil and stuck his head under Phil's chin and into Phil's neck. 

     "Yes, exactly like love," was all Dan said.

     Phil smiled, it still hadn't registered in Phil's mind what had happened. He had just had his first kiss, and not only his first kiss, but his first kiss with his best friend that he had had a crush on since the first day he met him.

     "That was my first kiss," Phil whispered.

     "Mine too," Dan said into Phil's chest.

     "That was amazing," Phil said, breathless by the sight of Dan curled into his chest.

     "Want to have our second?" Dan asked, looking up at Phil.

     Phil nodded and Dan smiled, reaching his head up shyly to reconnect their lips. For the one who confidently kissed Phil the first time, Dan was in fact very shy about this situation and it was adorable. When their lips reconnected it was like fireworks going off in Phil's stomach. They both smiled into the kiss before Phil pulled away, he kept smiling, staring into Dan's shimmering eyes. 

      Phil, who at that moment was laying down, sat up to where he sat with his legs crossed, never losing eye contact with Dan as he did so. He then proceeded to reach out to Dan and lift him up and help him get situated to where he sat on Phil lap, legs wrapping around Phil's back. Dan smiled down at Phil, now being propped up slightly higher than Phil, and Phil leaned upwards to reestablish the connection between the two. 

      Their lips pressed together once more and their months became more comfortable moving slightly to try and deepen the kiss. When they both felt ready Phil let him tongue settle outside Dan's lips before being allowed in. With their mouths slightly open, they deepened the kiss, allowing their tongues to explore the other. Phil tightened his grip on Dan's back to bring him closer to Phil. 

     They continued to kiss, taking brief breaks to breathe, before engaging in the kiss once more. Finally Phil felt Dan yawn and he pulled back from the kiss, allowing Dan to rest his head on Phil's shoulder.

     "Are you tired," Phil asked, already knowing the answer.

     "No," Dan said in a whiny voice.

     "I think you are Dan, you need some sleep, come on, you have to put on pajamas," Phil said, ushering Dan to get up.

     "But I'm comfortable here with you," Dan said.

     "Don't worry, I'll be here all night, you have to change though," Phil said, Dan finally giving in.

     Phil found himself pajamas and quickly changed, while Dan found a pair in his bag and changed in the corner his bag was in. Phil saw another yawn escape Dan as they made their way back to Phil's bed and he smiled, knowing he needed to get Dan to sleep.

     Phil sat down on the bed and ushered for Dan to sit as well. Once Dan sat Phil turned off his light from his lamp and whispered for Dan to lay down. Dan did as Phil said and Phil laid down as well. They were facing each other and Phil gave Dan a quick kiss before wrapping his arms around Dan's torso. 

     "Goodnight Dan," Phil said.

     "Night Phil," Dan said, wrapping his arms around Phil and pressing his head in Phil's chest comfortably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you liked this chapter, I really enjoyed writing the end! This chapter ended up being long as well, I didn't plan on making it this long, oh well, tell me what you thought!  
> Also!! Last night this fic hit 100 kudos!!!! Like wow, I can't believe 100 people saw this fic and decided to read it and liked it enough to give it kudos, Thank you guys, it motivates me to keep writing.


	15. Being Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter didn't get up yesterday. I finished it at close to midnight and just decided to post it later, i'll try to get another chapter up today!

**Phil's Mum's POV**

 

Phil's mum had woken up quite early that morning, having gone to bed early the night before. She hadn't planned it that way, but watching the telly with her husband just lulled her to sleep early on. Since she was up, she showered, did some light makeup and started a load of laundry. When she went back up to her bedroom, she was greeted by her husband beginning to wake up. 

     It was now getting later and she decided to check on the boys to see if they were up yet. She hoped Dan would be able to do things like this more often, seeing how happy Dan made Phil warmed her heart so much. The sight of her son smiling at the other young boy and laughing with him made her realize what it was like to see Phil truly happy. Not only that, but Dan was such a good kid who deserved so much more than what god gave him, and she was determined to help give him the life he deserved all the years prior to him meeting Phil.

     She walked over to Phil's room and placed her hand on the handle. Not thinking to knock, just in case they were asleep, she opened the door. She wasn't faced with the sight of the two boys awake. Instead, she saw the two boys asleep, Phil holding onto Dan as if it was all his mind subconsciously thought to do, and Dan, cuddled into Phil's chest. The duvet was draped over the two, yet slightly pushed off, Phil smiled in his sleep and she could not see Dan's face, but knew he was happy as well.

     When faced with a sight like this, most parents would freak out, but not her. In fact, she almost expected this, she had been waiting to see when exactly the two would realize their undying love for each other. She was actually very pleased to see the two boys innocently cuddling each other in their peaceful sleep. 

     Without thinking, she took out her phone and snapped a quick picture of the two, then proceeded to scroll through a few she had taken on the previous day, and ones of the two boys from other times Dan had come over to play video games and what not. 

     She smiled at how you could see the two become closer and closer in the pictures as time went on, and how both became happier as time went on. It was a mum's greatest joy to witness a child's developing love in such a way, and she was grateful for it.

     She turned out of the room and quietly closed the door, proceeding back to her room. When she got their her husband was laying on the bed, watching the morning news on the telly.

     "The boys up yet?" He asked.

     "Not yet, but I think we should let them sleep a bit longer," she said, not even able to imagine waking the two from their peaceful slumber.

 

**Dan's POV**

 

Dan slowly began to wake up, his mind becoming less hazy as he came back to reality, thoughts of the previous night still foggy in his mind. It was then he felt the warm body next to him, the rise and fall of the chest his head was pressed against. He felt the arms around him and began to open his eyes. When he finally did, he found the shirt of the guy he had spent the previous day with, pressed so close to him.

     Without being able to question his movement, he looked up to see the face of the beautiful man Dan had liked since laying eyes on him. Eyelids closed, hiding the bright blue eyes at Dan found a home in, lips curled ever so slightly into an unconscious smile. Dan began to breath heavily, forgetting why he was so close to the lovely man.

     Dan began searching his mind for memories when he remembered being close to Phil, and Phil telling Dan he was in love and Dan leaning in without thinking, connecting their lips. Dan's breathing stopped as he asked himself, 'wait... that wasn't a dream?'

     Dan began to panic, not knowing what else to do, forgetting the safety he felt the night before in Phil's arms, his only thought being that he had messed up somehow, that Phil didn't actually like him, and that Dan had upset Phil with the kiss. He began squirming to get out of Phil's arms as he tried to breath normally. Dan failed at being able to breath though, and he began hyperventilating, eyesight closing into blackness as he frantically pushed himself out of Phil's arms.

     Phil's grip tightened though, not allowing Dan out and he heard a whimper escape Phil's mouth. Phil's eyes began to open and Phil tried to pull Dan closer.

     "Hmm... What's wrong?" Phil said tiredly and helplessly.

     "I- uh uh... I'm s-s-sorry... I didn't mean t-to," Dan said through heavy breaths, Phil starting to become more awake and aware of Dan's panicking, "Please- ju-just let me go... I'll leave, I-I'm sorry, d-"

     Phil's grip didn't loosen on Dan, instead he just held him, staring done to him.

     "Dan. Dan please calm down... please just breathe..." Phil said calmly, trying to hide his own worry, Dan just stared at him, "Please, breathe with me, okay?" 

     Phil's words were comforting, they didn't sound angry, Dan nodded, trying to relax on Phil's touch and tried to stop fighting Phil's hold on him.

     "Breathe in through your nose, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Hold 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and out through your mouth as if you are breathing through a straw 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8," Phil explained and they breather together till Dan could full relax, and his eyes focused.

    Dan's mind finally began to work right, he hated having panic attacks. He hated that they happened for stupid reasons, they always seem to happen the most when Dan is first waking up, when he can't quite think straight. Dan's mind fell back to the previous night, to how Phil kissed him back, and held him as he fell asleep. Dan hadn't been thinking about what Phil had done the previous night. Dan only remembered what he had done, leaning in and kissing Phil, and he started to panic.

     Remembering Phil's words from the night before, he allowed his mind to clear, heart rate to go back to normal, and his anxiety to diminish. His tense muscles relaxed with Phil's gentle squeeze and he collapsed into Phil's warm chest. 

     Dan already felt spent, like he had been up and going for hours because of the emotional upset caused by his panic attack. He hated himself for having one, he wanted to rip his hair out, but instead he just took deep breathes buried in the loving arms of Phil.

     "Are you okay now?" Phil asked and Dan nodded.

     "What happened, you scared me?" Phil asked softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of Dan's head.

     "I just... panicked... I thought you would... hate me now... because I k-kissed you- last night," Dan said, muffled in Phil's chest.

     Phil chuckled just slightly, "I could never hate you. And do you not remember me kissing you back, or me telling you that I love you."

     "I wasn't entirely awake, I wasn't thinking about that... and you didn't quite tell me you loved me. You just said that pull you felt was like love," he said.

     Phil took his hand and moved Dan's head so he was looking at Phil and said, "Well then, I love you, and I don't care if someone might think this is too soon to say it, because like I said last night, that draw I felt towards you was love. I love you Dan Howell."

     Dan turned red and smiled, his stomach fluttering with the wings of a thousand butterflies, "I... I love you too."

     Dan understood what Phil meant, how many people would not use the word 'love' after only kissing for the first time the night before, but something felt different between the two, he had felt drawn to the beautiful boy since the beginning, and expressing the deep passion he felt for him only felt right. Phil smiled at Dan's words and leaned in to kiss the younger boy. 

     The kiss was sweet, and innocent, like the ones from the night before, and being so close to Phil made Dan feel safe, and made all his worries disappear. Dan didn't want the kiss to end, it was slow, and perfect, and showed just exactly what type of relationship the two had. They were comfortable with each other, loving not lustful, and showed how Phil was doing everything in his power to make sure Dan was safe and comfortable. The way their lips parted slightly in the kiss, as the two moved in sync, deepening the kiss as they went. 

     Everything about being here, in this moment, with Phil, felt utterly perfect to Dan, and he couldn't get enough of it. 

     After a few more seconds the two broke away from the kiss, smiling at each other, still cuddled up next to one another. 

     "You're perfect," Phil said.

     "Oh hush!" 

     "You are... why couldn't I have met you sooner," Phil said longingly.

     "Because I wasn't in a place to have any friends, and this was the time fate choose for us to meet."

     "Well I'm glad I have found you now."

     "Me too."

     "You know what?" Phil asked.

     "What?"

     "I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

     With any other person, in any other situation, this would have given Dan anxiety, a fear of commitment, a fear of getting used, being thrown away, but with Phil, he felt wanted, it felt real, and he actually agreed.

     "You know what?" Dan asked.

     "What?"

     "Me too," Dan said, leaning back in to reconnect their lips.

     After a few seconds Phil broke away from the kiss and said, "Dan?"

     "Yeah?"

     "Will you... Will you be my boyfriend?" Phil asked.

     Dan's face turned red, he knew this would come at some point, they had kissed and knew that they liked each other, but it still took Dan by surprise, but he overcame it and smiled.

     "I would love to," Dan said, cuddling into Phil's neck.

     "Really?" Phil said with excitement in his voice.

     "Yesss"

     "So, that means you're my boyfriend now, like a real boyfriend, and we can go on dates and-" Phil said before Dan cut his rambling off with giggles.

      "Yes~ you're really cute when you ramble you know," Dan said, smiling and laying a short peck on Phil's cheek.

     "Sorry, it's just, I've never had a boyfriend before, I mean I've never had a girlfriend either, but that's fine, I have never really liked girls anyway, and like now you- you're my boyfriend, and I can't even process it. It's like, how did i get so luc-" Phil rambled before Dan cut him off once more with a kiss.

     Dan felt Phil melt into the kiss, Phil's heartbeat slowing down from his excitement.

     "You're my first boyfriend as well, and first relationship as well too, so don't worry, I'm just as excited."

     Phil smiled, no he didn't smile, he beamed. Literal light beams coming from his teeth, brightening the entire room. 

     "Oh yeah, and do you remember on that first day we meet, when you told me that the attention you got from the girls just wasn't your 'cup of tea'?"

     "Yeah."

     "Was that your way of hinting you were gay- or I mean... whatever your sexuality is... I never really asked, just kind of assumed after last night..." Dan rambled on.

     "Actually, yes, it was, you were just so cute, thought I would drop a hint, and I'm gay, don't worry, I have never liked girls, ever, and, well, when I saw you that really solidified the idea that I was, in fact, gay," Phil answered.

     "Oh okay! Yeah, I'm Bi, but I prefer guys, like I guess I have never been opposed to girls, but I genuinely find guys more attractive, but I have never dated, or even really liked either, till you, so...yeah," Dan said, Phil following Dan's comment with a kiss.

     Dan closed his eyes and just soaked in every part of the situation, Phil arms wrapped around his waist, the comfort of the warm duvet, Phil's body pressed against his, and their lips, mouths, dancing with each other.

     They finally pulled away from the kiss, Dan in a drunken haze front he pleasure and butterflies from his stomach. Dan didn't want to move, he didn't want to get up or go home, he wanted to stay in Phil's arms forever, in fear that Phil may disappear and Dan would never feel this feeling again.

     They laid their, not moving, just enjoying the others company for a few minutes, till there was a knock on the door.

     "You boys awake?" Phil's mum said from outside the door.

     "Just woke up a few minutes ago," Phil said, not entirely lying.

     "Well, breakfast is almost ready so if you boys would like to come down in a few minutes-"

     "Alright mum we'll be down there," Phil said and they heard footsteps down the stairs.

     "Philllll, I don't want to move," Dan whined

     "We have to," Phil said.

     "But I'm warm, and you're comfy, and safe," Dan continued.

     "Come on, we have to get up," Phil said, beginning to get up, causing a whine from Dan.

     Phil sat up all the way, pulling Dan with him to get Dan to get up. Phil pressed a kiss to Dan's forehead and stood up.

     "Get dresses Dan."

     "Ugh, okayy."

     The two got dressed and with one final kiss, they began walking downstairs.

     Phil's mum already had breakfast set up on the table and Dan and Phil scarfed down the food they served themselves.

     It became a routine, Dan helped with dishes, Phil put away food. Finally they were done and Dan knew his mum would be waking up soon, wanting him home. She was probably lonely without Dan.

     "Phil, I should probably get home soon," Dan announced.

     "Really?" Phil asked.

     "Yeah," Dan said sadly.

     "Okay, then let's go get you're stuff," Phil said, beginning to walk towards the stairs.

     The two walked up the stairs and to Phil's room, Phil opened the door and Dan walked in. Dan proceeded to his bag that sat in the corner of the room, hearing the door shut behind him. Suddenly he had been turned around and pinned to the wall by Phil's hands on his waist. It was gentle, but still passionate. Phil kissed Dan, deepening the kiss almost right away.

     Barely being able to breathe, they kissed for a while till they finally both had to take a break. Phil collapsed his head into Dan's neck.

     "I'm going to miss you so much, I always miss you when you leave, but now, now I'm going to miss this, just being close to you," Phil whispered.

     "I wish I could stay next to you forever Phil, but I do have to get home," Dan said somberly.

     "I know," Phil said in defeat, looking back up to Dan and placing another kiss on his lips quickly.

     Finally Phil let go of Dan, allowing him to pick up his bag from the ground. Dan grabbed his phone and charger and placed them in his bag, not feeling like checking his phone. 

     "We'll text, and we'll see each other at school tomorrow," Dan said, turning back to Phil to give him a hug.

     "Yeah, I already can't wait to see you at school tomorrow, so I can hold you close and know you are safe," Phil said.

     "No Phil, you can't hold me close," Dan said, breaking the hug, "You have a reputation at school, you are popular, if they knew someone like me was your _boyfriend_ they would freak out, I don't want to do that to you."

     "Dan, I don't want to hide the fact that I'm dating you, I don' care what everyone else thinks," Phil said.

     "No, they are going to bully you, they'll get mad, not only am I a loser, I'm also a guy," Dan said.

     "If they are assholes about you being a guy, then who cares, and you are not a loser, I love you, I don't want to hide that."

     "Please Phil, I don't want to be the reason you are targeted," Dan begged.

     Phil sighed, "Okay, if it is what you want, but just know, we can't keep it a secret forever."

     "I know, and thank you," Dan said, leaning back into the hug.

     He knew what it was like to be targeted, to be bullied for who you are, he never wanted to be the reason Phil knew as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I enjoyed writing this chapter, the next two chapters or so are going to be cute fillers, but the next event should be introduced soon. Tell me what you thought of this chapter!


	16. Being With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I couldn't get this chapter up sooner, I truly am, I have soccer three days a week, and school started Monday, and I have been going through a lot and it has been hard. I am so sorry, but this might be how it is for a bit. I will still post often, just not as often as you all are used to.

**Phil's POV**

     Phil couldn't believe it, still, after everything that had happened over the last 14 hours, he couldn't believe it was real. He had just dropped Dan off at his house, stealing a kiss from Dan as he got out. Phil had felt that stinging guilt of allowing Dan to leave like he always did dropping Dan off with his mum. He was now driving back home and it was finally beginning to dawn on him what had happened in the previous night and the morning. 

      Phil felt his cheeks turn red as he drove, never did he imagine Dan would actually like him back, yes Dan would blush at Phil when they were close and what not, but the actual idea of someone like Dan liking him was unreal to him. Dan had kissed him! Then they kissed more and Phil got to hold Dan in his arms all night.

     It was that of a dream, holding Dan as they slept, making sure he was safe all night. Then the morning. They had gotten together, it was real. Phil could officially buy Dan flowers and chocolates, take him on dates and hold him like he will never hold him again whenever he pleased. Of course, not at school that is.

     Phil would be lying if he said that he was not disappointed that Dan didn't want their relationship public, he knew where Dan was coming from, he obviously was afraid to see Phil antagonized for his sexuality, but Phil didn't care. He doesn't have friends at this school, no one he would lose if the information got out, so Phil was not afraid of how others would act. Yes, they would be rude, and yes, they would be hostile, but that didn't matter. All that mattered to Phil was Dan, Dan was all Phil needed, he needed Dan to stay by his side. Phil didn't need the popularity, he didn't need the girls, he didn't need the special treatment, he would give it all up in a heartbeat to have Dan by his side, safe, at all times.

     Phil wanted to turn around, go back to Dan's house and steal him away, but he knew that could never happen, so he settled with looking at the scenery. He stole glances at the passing trees as he took the turns down the calm road. It was just him and the his car, slowly going along the strings of black pavement. the wind brushing against his car helped calm his mind as he tried to assure himself that Dan was fine.

     He arrived home, following his everyday routine of parking the car, sadly without Dan this time. He got inside and began his trek up the many wooden stairs to his room. First door on the right. He got to the top of the stairs and entered his dark wooden door, leaving it open as he sat on his bed and let out a sigh.

     A minute later he saw the face of his mum poke through the space between the wall and his open door. She smiled and him and walked in.

     "Hello honey, you never came and said that you got home," she said, walking to lean on his closet across from where he was sitting.

     "Oh yeah, sorry, guess I'm just really out of it today," Phil said, a dreamy tone to his words, he probably looked exhausted, maybe even depressed, but the slight grin on his face made it apparent that he was happy about something, just choosing not to show it.

     "Hmm, maybe it's because something... I don't know... happened today?" She said knowingly, taking a few steps towards Phil, the grin never leaving her face.

     Phil smiled back at her, now not being able to hide the grin previously hidden by the yearning for Dan to be in his arms.

     "What's that supposed to mean?" Phil said lightheartedly.

     "Hmm... well I may or may not have walked in this morning while you were asleep."

     "So you saw?"

     "You smiling unconsciously while holding the boy I have gotten to watch you fall in love with over these past few weeks, in your sleep. Him cuddling up next to you, safe and happy. Yeah, I did. So are you two...?"

     "Yeah, actually... we made it official this morning," Phil said with a blush appearing on his face. 

     His mum let out a slight squeal, sitting next to him and wrapping her arms around him, "Oh my! My little boy has his first boyfriend. Oh and, does that mean you two had your first-"

     "Kiss? Yes," Phil said, his mother, proceeding to squeeze him more.

     "I can't believe it, my baby has his first boyfriend  _and_ had his first kiss! I'm so happy for you! So how was it? Oh Philly you have to tell me everything!"

 

**Dan's POV**

 

Dan was ecstatic, still. It had been a day, him and Phil got together the morning before this, it was still so fresh in Dan's mind. The feeling of Phil's soft, pink lips against his, Phil's arms wrapped around him, the warmth, the safety, it was all so perfect, almost unreal.

     When Dan had gotten home, after Phil dropped him off, Dan's mum was awake. She was sitting on the coach, where she always was, not yet drinking that early though. When he closed the door behind him she had turned to see him. She smiled and paused the telly.

     "I missed you Daniel," she had said, eyes soft with regret.

     "Missed you too mum," Dan said somberly.

     "You don't have to lie, I know you were out having fun with your friend, you weren't thinking about me," she said, directing her attention back to the telly.

     "I guess," Dan said.

     "Did you have fun, you don't look very happy," She said.

     "I had tons of fun, guess I'm just tired or something," he lied.

     "Well I'm glad you had fun, the house was too quiet without you though," she said, still calm.

     Dan was surprised she wasn't lashing out, surprised she wasn't yelling. He had become so accustomed to it that the calm gave him anxiety, like she could burst any second. Dan nodded her way as she un-paused the telly and he began his trek towards his room. He set his overnight bag down and collapsed onto the soft, warm bed. He laid on his black and grey duvet from the rest of the day, missing Phil, and recalling the memories of Phil's lips and hands that were still so fresh in his mind.

      That day he and Phil texted nonstop, talking how they usually would with the added flirt here and there. Dan would occasionally receive a, "How can you be so perfect sometimes," and a "How did I get so lucky," and Dan would send a few, "I don't deserve you's," and "You could have anyone in the world, but you choose me." At some point they got on a tangent that lead to talking about when they started liking each other, and their first impressions of each other. 

 **Phil:**  Oh god, well when I first saw you, you were staring at me as you were walking to your locker, you looked really confused and what not, but I couldn't stop thinking, "Who is this beautiful guy walking up to me." 

 **Phil:** You are honestly so beautiful, you don't give yourself enough credit, your hair is perfect, and your amber eyes I just get lost in, and that dimple!!!!

 **Phil:** From the moment I laid eyes on you I think I developed the crush, but then I started talking to you, and by lunch I knew I was in deep.

     Dan laughed reading Phil's response, Phil was so great, Dan never thought he would have been lucky enough to find someone like Phil who actually wanted to be with him.

 **Dan:** I'm not that great, you on the other hand, as soon as I stepped foot in the school, all the girls were talking about you, a girl named Crystal, that girl I saw you with at the party was talking about how she wanted to be with you. She's pretty, I guess the prettiest girl in the school, you could have dated her and for some reason you decided to like me, and to ask  _me_ out. 

 **Dan:** When I saw you walk in, it was like one of those cheesy movie moments where time stops and you moved in slow motion with a beacon of light on you, you know? And I realized my locker was next to yours and got so nervous, I already felt myself developing a crush that I knew wouldn't work out in the end. I didn't know what to expect from you, then you started talking and you were so awkward, it was adorable.

 **Dan:** And don't say anything about how I look, compared to you I am nothing, Phil you are actually like a god, you are so handsome

     Dan blushed as he sent the last text, he knew Phil liked him, and that they were dating, but it still felt weird to admit his thoughts. They kept texting after that till both went to sleep. Dan got up early that next morning, missing the feeling of waking up in Phil's arms, but immediately texted Phil saying he was up.

     That brought us to now, Dan sitting in his bed, overwhelmed by the fact that he was actually dating the most popular guy at his new school, his best friend, and now boyfriend. Dan got up finally and got ready, throwing on his usual, black skinny jeans and black jumper. He combed through his hair and brushed his teeth and headed back to his room. He grabbed his phone to check for a message from Phil, but he knew Phil probably wasn't awake yet. Dan packed his bag filled with whatever was needed for the school day to come, before finally getting a message from Phil.

 **Phil:** Good morning babe, sorry I just woke up, I hope you slept well

     Dan blushed at his phone, Phil hadn't ever called him babe before and it took him by surprise. It still hadn't registered fully in Dan's mind that he and Phil were actually a couple, but now he would get to go to school and have to act like nothing had happened between him and Phil, for the sake of keeping Phil safe.

 **Dan:** Slept like I usually do, fine, I guess, and don't apologize for just waking up, I just texted you when I got up so you would know when you finally woke up

 **Phil:** Oh okay then :P, I can't wait to see you at school in a bit, I miss you

 **Dan:** I miss you too

 **Phil:** I wish I could give you a kiss when I see you later

 **Dan:** You know you can't, they will bully you, and antagonize you and I don't want to be the reason they do that to you, I just want you safe

 **Phil:** I know Dan, It's okay, I just wish I could because I miss you a lot<3

     They texted as Phil got ready and after a while, Dan finally left to begin walking towards the old school a few blocks up the street. The air outside was crisp, holding a slight chill, but nothing Dan couldn't handle. He watched as the trees swayed back and forth in the directions of the changing wind. It was early and quiet on his street, but as he got closer to the school, he sounds of traffic zipping by, and students speaking their mind, became all the more present. 

     Dan finally arrived at the school, hoping Phil would be there soon, as Dan had gotten there somewhat early. He walked up the stone pathway to the humongous entranced doors and swung one open just enough to slip through. He slowly made his way down the stretch of hallway to reach his dark blue locker, opening it slowly and discarding his backpack inside. Dan turned around to face the hallway and leaned against his locker, pulling out his phone.

 **Phil:** Here, I'll be inside in a minute

     Dan smiled down at his phone, sending a quick response, waiting to see his beautiful boyfriend walk through the doors of the entrance. After a minute the doors did finally open and Phil walked in, as smooth and handsome as ever, Dan saw the girls as they stared at Phil and felt a new sting of jealousy from inside. A for of jealousy that didn't come from a crush, but a form of jealousy that had routes of possessiveness.

     "Hey Dan!," Phil said, walking up to him, brushing up against Dan to get any sort of contact between them as they could without giving anything away. 

     "Hello Phil," Dan said with a smile, feeling all his worries melt as he gazed into Phil's eyes, his heart fluttering a hundred miles a second.

     "God I really want to kiss you right now," Phil whispered.

     "I wish you could," Dan responded.

     "If only we could be in privacy at all times, I missed you so much yesterday, it's like I finally got you, but I can't always have y-" Phil whispered before abruptly stopping as footsteps approached them.

     "What are we whispering about lads?" PJ, the kid that had given Dan the drinks at the party said.

     "Nothing PJ," Phil said, sounding quite annoyed.

     "Oh come on, you can tell me," He said getting a little too close to Phil before laughing, "Is this the little guy from the party? Good to see you normally, and not when you are depressed or whatever it was at the party."

      "Yeah, sorry about that," Dan said, a bit irritated but trying to sound nice.

     Right then the bell rang and Dan and Phil shot each other a somber look, and Dan grabbed what he needed for first out of his bag and closed his locker. 

     "I'll see you during passing period," Dan said before walking off to his first period class.

     Phil usually walked him to his classes, but Dan decided, since PJ was there, he would let Phil just go to his class. 

     The day went by as it usually did, just this time Dan and Phil flirted with each other through texting, as they couldn't do it in person. The classes flew by till it was finally lunch. Dan met Phil by their lockers and they began to slip through the crowd to the back door of the school, finding their secret area to eat.

     "My mum packed an extra sandwich for you," Phil said.

     "Oh no, Phil it's not a big deal, I'm not hungry," Dan said in response.

     "You're eating and you are going to love it!" Phil said playfully.

     Dan laughed and took the sandwich in defeat, "Okay~ You are cute when you get all in my face, demanding," Dan said teasingly.

     "Oh yeah?" Phil asked.

     "Um hum," Dan said nodding, licking his lips as a nervous habit.

     Phil lifted from his seat and leaned in closer to Dan, pulling his legs to lay on the bench as he put his body weight over Dan, becoming teasingly close to Dan's face. Dan bit his bottom lip at the view as Phil smirked down at him.

     "Hows about this?" Phil said.

     "Perfect," Dan giggled.

     Phil somewhat lost his balance at that moment and toppled onto Dan, Dan falling against the bench they were sitting on, Phil now entirely on top of him. They both just burst out laughing.

     "Klutz" Dan joked.

     "Ah, but I'm your klutz," Phil said, Dan nodding as Phil leaned in to kiss Dan.

     The kiss lingered till they realized that at any moment they could be caught, so they pulled and Phil readjusted himself so he was sitting up, off of Dan, and Dan sat up. Dan began to eat the sandwich Phil's mum made for him and Phil began to eat his. Lunch went on for a bit longer till Dan had to go to Drama.

     Phil walked him to class and he went inside after saying goodbye, he went and sat his stuff down in a corner of the room and went to stand around, waiting for the class to start. After a minute he watched as Louise, the blonde haired, drama club leader walked up to him. At first he was confused as to why, but she shot him a smile and walked till she was stood in front of him.

     "I see you hang around Phil a lot, are you two close?" She asked, he accent revealing that she was from Australia and obviously had moved here.

     "I suppose so, I met him the first day of school, he is basically my only friend here," Dan said.

     "Oh yes, so you didn't know him before coming here?" She asked.

     "No."

     "I would have never thought, I have never seen Phil around any other guys, or girls I suppose, he's never really had friends, I have always felt quite bad for him, but I was sure I wouldn't want to be friends with me, he'd probably think I was just into him or something...which I'm not. Phil's not really my type, But I am surprised to hear he got so close to you so fast. It might not be my place to say, but I believe you two have something special," She finished.

     "Why do you care so much about this though?" Dan asked.

     "Oh, I'm just known for being able to tell when two people would be good together, just ask anyone in here, I have a knack for that," She smiled.

     "What do you mean... together?" Dan said, blushing slightly.

     "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I just... I mean together as in a relationship, but I understand if you aren't into that kind of thing," She said, looking down in shame.

     "No, No! I am!... Wait, I mean... like, I'm," by this point Dan knew he messed up and knew he was blushing horribly.

     "Awe so you do like him, don't you!" She said in a hushed voice.

     "No, I... I mean..."

     "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," She said.

     "I... Phil and I... we are-" He said, being cut off by a squeal.

     "I knew you two were!" She whisper yelled, "You two are perfect for each other."

    "Shhh, please, please promise you won't say anything!" Dan whispered.

     "Don't worry Dan, I would never reveal something like that, just think of me as a friend you can come to for advice and what not," She said.

     They talked on and off the red of the period, till Dan had to go to his last period of the day. He stopped by his locker and Phil walked him over to his class. The class was long and boring, but Dan managed to get through it.

     After the hour long class Dan left as the bell rang to try and make his way to his locker as quick as he could. He shuffled around people till he suddenly was jerked to the side, down a hallway. He was pulled by his shirt collar, slightly choking him as he was shoved into the hall. When he caught his balance and looked up, he saw, three guys, one he remembered from the party being Chris, and the two girls from the beginning of the year and Crystal, staring at him as he stood there, helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! I really, really hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry about the cliffhanger, but this chapter is long enough already. Hopefully I can have a chapter up this weekend, as I still don't have a ton of homework yet. Thanks for being patient with me for all of you who are reading this still this past week has been hard mentally for me, I got into a kinda bad place over the summer and I'm trying to crawl out of the hole I dug, but I am feeling a lot better today than I was Monday, so that's good I suppose. Tell me what you thought of the chapter! (Also I was in a rush to get this chapter up because I have soccer practice, sorry about the typos)


	17. Being Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this most definitely is not Saturday, I'm sorry, I can only write a few hundred words a day, I just have too much to do, soccer, homework, school, dance, drama, and I am taking online driver's ED classes. Don't worry, I will post as regularly as humanly possible and expect a lot during breaks, like winter break and what not. For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter (Sorry about grammar mistakess!).

* * *

**Dan's POV**

 

"Just look at him, fat, ugly, and weak. Why the fuck is Phil hanging out with this bitch," Chris said bitterly.

      "Yeah this faggot is obviously trying to manipulate Phil to be a fag like him too," Crystal sneered.

      "Just look at how scared he looks," one of the other guys laughed out.

     Dan held his breath, afraid to make any noise, he was standing against the wall of the hallway he had been shoved into. The terror in his eyes obviously showing through his amber colored iris. He felt paralyzed, the fear disabling him to move or try and run away. He didn't know what they were going to do to him, or what he had done wrong, but they didn't seem to be very friendly by the way they pulled and shoved him. 

     "Well, come on, say something faggot," Chris said, speaking harshly.

     "Wha-wha-what's wrong? What di-did I do?" Dan asked.

     They all began to laugh before one of the guys said, "Oh you don't know?" 

     "How about we take him outside and talk with him?" Chris said maniacally. 

     Suddenly Chris and the two others grabbed Dan, forcibly pushing him towards a door at the end of the hallway. Dan tried to fight back, but the tight grips they had on his wrists, and the force of hands as they pushed into his fragile body was too strong for him. He felt his wrists burn from the pressure of other hands and fighting back. 

     "No! Please! Let me go! No, no, no!" Dan shouted meekly. 

     "Shut up faggot!"

     "Get him through the door!"

     Suddenly the door was opened and he was pushed outside, hard. He fell smack onto the ground with much force, causing his whole body to ache in the aftermath. All six of them filed out and let the door swing shut behind them with a loud 'Bang!'. 

     "You think you are all that because Phil hangs around you, don't you?" Crystal asked.

     "W-what? No," Dan said.

     "Don't lie to us, fag!" Chris yelled, before taking a quick step to Dan, leaning down, and applying a hard punch to Dan's jaw, causing him to whine in pain.

     Dan's eyes began to fill with tears are the aching pain emitting from his jaw surged throughout his entire body. His body instinctively tried to scrambble up to run away, but as he did so, one of the other guys kicked Dan in his stomach, causing him to relapse in pain.

     "We know what you are up to you filthy faggot, Phil used to be our friend till he abandoned us for popularity-" Chris started.

     "-He didn-" Dan said before Chris nailed him in the chest with another punch.

     "Shut up Fag! He left us, he wouldn't just hang around you, you filthy bitch. You are probably a whore as well as a faggot huh? Why would Phil want to be around you? You walk around with him like you own the place, but look at you now, weak-" Chris said with a kick to the chest, "Where is he now? He can't save you." 

     Chris laughed as tears rolled vigorously out of Dan's eyes, leaving think wet streaks down his face as they fell. Dan shook at the unbearable pain he felt radiating from his chest, stomach, and face. He could feel the dark bruises forming as they all laughed. With one last kick to the face, the three boys took a few steps back. They hadn't split Dan's lip, or given him a black eye, but he could feel the swelling in the areas they did hit.

     "Well girls, don't you have something to say as well?" Chris added and the three girls nodded and stepped closer to Dan.

     "I don't know what kind of sick mind game you are playing will Phil to get him to hang around you, but it doesn't matter, because not matter what  _faggot,_ Phil will never be with a bitch like you, so stop try to turn him into a fag. He's mine, and when I finally get to ask him to the next dance, he won't be able to resist me. You should have seen what he and I did at the little party you got drunk at, bitch," Crystal said smirking.

     Dan's heart sunk, he thought they didn't do anything, he thought he hated her, and got away from her as fast as he could, Dan thought Phil loved  _him._ Dan wouldn't believe what Crystal was saying, she had to be bluffing, she had to be trying to get him upset. He couldn't succumb to the pain, to the sorrow, to the self-loathing. 

     "You and Phil didn't do anyth-" Dan tried his hardest to get out, his chest burning and stinging at the strain, before being cut off yet again.

     "You keep telling yourself that fag, but either way, no mater what you think, Phil is way too good for you, and we just wanted to put you in your place," She said, pushing her foot vigorously into Dan's gut.

     "Remind you of how worthless and weak you are," Chris added before they all began to walk away, around the back of the school to make their way to the front. 

     Dan collapsed, fully, becoming limp and lifeless on the grass covered ground. He felt weak, it was hard to move, he wished he could just disappear from the spot, into nothingness. He didn't want to get up, he didn't want to feel the pain of breathing, he legs ached from kicks and pushing, his stomach burned with the bruises of their punches, and his face swelling with the feeling of worthlessness. He was aware of every ache and sting in his body as he lay flat on the ground, tears still making a steady stream down his face.

     It was then he realized that his phone was buzzing. He reached into his back pocket and grabbed out his phone that was, luckily, not cracked from the impact of being thrown to the ground. He saw that he had missed messages from Phil.

 **Phil:** Where are you?

 **Phil:** This is a little longer than you usually take

 **Phil:** Are you on your way here?

 **Phil:** You probably aren't checking your phone right now

 **Phil:** Maybe you made a stop to go to the toilet

 **Phil:** Don't worry, i'll wait till you get here

 **Phil:** Okay Dan I'm starting to get worried

 **Phil:** Dan please answer me

 **Phil:** I used to worry about you, but now that we are together I worry ten times more

 **Phil:** Dan, please, where are you

 **Phil:** Dan I'm scared.

     Dan felt terrible that he worried Phil, he knew he didn't want to, but had to, so he got up, slowly, wobbling and cringing at the pain, but slowly becoming okay. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to look as decent as he could under the circumstances, Phil might not notice, right? 

 **Dan:** Hey, I'm so sorry I made you worried, I just had to stay back to talk with a teacher

 **Phil:** Oh, okay then, I'm sorry for over reacting, hurry up, I miss you

 **Dan:** I will <3

     Phil never ceased to make Dan smile, even when Dan felt utterly terrible and exhausted, physically, and emotionally. he went through the door that earlier he had been shoved through. He slowly walked the halls, trying his best to keep his face neutral and not allow the pain to get to him. He reached the last turn before the hallway, his locker was in and took a deep breathe, still trying not to let any tears escape. He took the turn and saw Phil, tapping his foot impatiently, staring in the direction of Dan. Phil's face lit up when he saw Dan.

     Dan continued on closer, and as he got closer, Phil's face quickly turned from pleasant to terrified. Dan looked down as he continued walking towards his locker, quickly regretting not just telling Phil he had gone home to avoid any contact with him. How could he have thought Phil wouldn't notice, of course Phil would notice and worry. Dan felt tears well up in his eyes as he tried to blink them away. He heard footsteps coming his way till Phil's feet were on the ground in front of him.

     "Dan, look up at me," Phil said concerned.

     Dan just shook his head and continued towards his locker and Phil swiftly followed Dan's feet.

     "Dan," Phil said harsher, "Please look at me."

     Finally Dan gave in, having made his way to his locker, out of the crowd of people still roaming the halls, and looked up at Phil. Phil's face dropped, it looked as though he had just watched someone die. His face turned paler than usual and concern filled his, usually, vibrant blue eyes. 

     "Dan! What happened?"

     "Nothing, I probably just fell," Dan said, looking away from Phil to open his locker to retrieve his bag.

     "You  _probably_ just fell? Dan! How could this have happened? Who did this to you? Is this why you were late?" Phil said, sounding breathless and angry.

     "It's nothing Phil-" Dan paused to hold back tears that filled his eyes, "Really, I'm fine."

     But Dan wasn't fine, Dan wanted to collapse into Phil's arms, he wanted Phil to make everything better, but he couldn't burden Phil with this, he wouldn't.

     "Dan if someone did this to you, please, please tell me, I don't want you getting hurt, please, you can tell me anything," Phil pleaded.

     Dan began to crumble, he grabbed his now filled bag and closed his locker and said, "I don't want to burden you with this," and began to walk away.

     Phil went after him, putting a hand onto his shoulder to make him stop and turn around, so he did.

     "You won't burden me, you will never be a burden," Phil said, proceeding to whisper, "I care about you so much, I want you to be able to tell me everything, I want to help."

     Tears broke free in Dan's eyes, running down his cheeks as he said through the physical and emotional pain he was feeling, "Not here, I can't, not here."

     "Come on, you are coming to my house."

     "No, Phil."

     "I'm not letting you walk home," Phil said in a caring, yet still stern voice.

     Dan, tears still slowly escaping his eyes, gave in, allowing Phil to help lead him to his car, away from the people who were around them, to the almost empty parking lot. Phil unlocked his car and opened the door on the passenger side, directing Dan in. He then proceeded to put his bag in the back and get in on the drivers side. Once his door was closed, Dan watched as he sunk into the silence, turning to him with sorrow in his eyes. 

     "Dan, I'm- I'm so sorry. I am so sorry I let this happen to you. I should have known, you are never late. Please, Please tell me what happened Dan..." Phil pleaded.

     "No, don't be sorry, it's not your fault," Dan whimpered.

      "Still, Dan I can't believe something happened to you, I just... I need to know what happened."

      "Can I tell you once we are home?" Dan whispered, sniffling.

      Phil smiled, probably because of Dan's use of the word 'home', Phil nodded, looking noticeably less tense. He most likely looked less tense because of the comfort in knowing Dan did plan on eventually telling Phil what happened. Dan didn't want to, the thought of bothering Phil with the attack gave him anxiety, but he knew he should, he knew Phil deserved to know.

     Dan's muscles relaxed into the seat of the car as Phil started the vehicle, promoting a light hum of the radio as it popped on. Dan was sore, and still had a sting of pain coming from each of his wounds and bruises, but he was feeling better as he sat, feeling safe next to Phil. Dan was silent, a few last quiet tears would drip from his eyes every few minutes.

     Phil hummed along to the radio, stealing glances at Dan's weak, slumped body, at stops. Dan was curled up on the seat, cradling his stomach as it ached from punches and kicks, he knew he looked pathetic, but he couldn't help it. 

     Finally Dan felt the bumps of Phil pulling into a garage. Phil turned and told Dan to stay put as Phil got out of his side of the car, retrieved his bag, and made his way to Dan's side. He opened the door and grabbed Dan's bag, throwing it over his shoulder. Phil then proceeded to reach out to him, to help him out of the car. Obviously Phil didn't know just where or how he had been hurt, so Dan grabbed Phil's wrists and maneuvered his feet out so he could properly stand up with Phil's help. 

     His sore bruises and internal injuries ached at the sudden extending of his muscles, so once he was out of the car he leaned back over, allowing Phil to help balance him as they walked towards the door. Phil didn't wait for his mum, he automatically proceeded to open the door with the key, helping Dan to step inside once it was open. 

     "Phil?" Phil's mum shouted from the kitchen.

     Suddenly Phil's mum appeared in the dinning area, and looked surprised to see Dan, and concerned at the condition he was in.

     "Dan? What happened?" She said concerned.

     "I'm fine mum, don't worry," Dan responded with a weak smile, leaning into Phil's helping arm to ease the sore pain.

     "I'm going to take him upstairs," Phil said.

     "Alright, please call me up if you need anything," She said, not sounding satisfied, but leaving them be anyway.

     Phil helped Dan up each step to reach the second floor, even though Dan was quite capable of walking, Phil obviously just didn't want him falling or feeling too much pain. They walked into Phil's room and Phil sat Dan down on the bed. Phil took off Dan's shoes and made him lay down in the bed. Dan curled up in the comfort of lying down, especially above the faint smell of Phil. Phil took a seat on the ground next to the bed so that Dan, laying on his side, could see him. He sat intimately close to Dan, taking Dan's hand in his own.

     "Love, can you please tell me what happened now," Phil said quietly and concerned, Dan didn't want to, but nodded, knowing he had to.

     "I was," Dan paused to pull Phil's hand closer to him, "I was walking down the hall, making my way to our lockers, but I was pulled out into the side hallway by the door that leads outside by Chris and his two friends and Crystal and hers. Chris and his friends held me and pushed me outside, throwing me hard against he ground. They called me slurs like faggot and whore. Chris told me you left them, and that the only way you would hang out with me is if I was a whore. They told me I was trying to make you into a fag like me. Like I was manipulating you. Crystal told me that you are hers, and when she asks you to the dance you won't be able to resist her. She also tried to tell me that you and her did something in that room at the party. They kicked me and punched me in my stomach, legs, and face. Then they all left after they thought they had taught the fat faggot lesson enough."

     At some point along the way of the story Dan had started crying again, struggling to explain the harsh memories that haunted him. Feeling their kicks as he explained their words. From the very beginning of the story he could practically feel the anger radiating off of Phil, but Phil didn't say anything and let Dan tell his whole story, yet now that Dan was done, Phil was fuming.

     "Dan I-" Phil paused to let out a sigh, "Dan I can't believe those twats had the nerve to mess with you. I swear when I see them again, I am going to-"

     "Phil please, calm down, please don't do anything, it'll just make everything so much, much worse..." Dan pleaded.

     "But- But Dan they hurt you, I love you so much, I won't accept people hurting you," Phil said.

     "Please Phil!"

     Phil sighed and said, "Okay, but from now on you wait inside your classes till I get there, and let me walk you to and from your classes," Phil said.

     "Phil!" Dan whined.

     "No, 'Phil!' It's either that, or I bust the ass of Chris and his little mates," Phil said, going slightly into his northern accent.

     Dan sighed and agreed to Phil's terms, calming him down a bit. 

     "Now, about what they were saying. They all have no right to speak for me, I did not leave Chris and his friends, they left me. They can't tell others who I hang out with based on some made up personality this school has for me because I am popular. Lastly, I am not Crystal's, I have no interest in her, and would never want to be with her in a million years, nothing happened in that room, and if she asks me to a dance I will gladly burst her self-confident bubble by turning her down."

     Phil sounded mad, not mad at Dan, mad at the people who hurt Dan, but after getting it all off his chest he collapsed and relaxed his muscles in defeat. Dan was feeling a bit better just laying down, but wanted Phil close, so Dan moved over lightly on the bed, leaving a place for Phil to crawl up beside him. He pulled at Phil's arm to make Phil lay next to him and Phil did, getting up to crawl beside Dan and gently wrap his arms around him, holding Dan close. 

      "I won't let them hurt you again Dan," Phil whispered.

     "I know you won't Phil, but please don't worry about me, I'll be fine," Dan said.

     "I'll always worry," Phil said, and before Dan could respond he leaned in and connected their mouths.

     They allowed themselves to slowly enjoy the kiss, the soft touch of each other being comforting to both. They both took a break to breathe before continuing to deepen the kiss. 

     Finally they broke away from the kiss and Dan sunk into Phil's warm chest. 

     "Dan," Phil spoke.

     "Yes?"

     "Did Chris and them just... leave more bruises on your stomach?" 

     "I suppose so, I forgot that you had seen the others for a second. Most of those are pretty old bruises, they don't hurt as much now, so really Chris just made new pain, he didn't provoke old pain if that is what you are worried about."

     "Oh, okay, I didn't know if they still hurt or not."

     "I quite honestly wish you had never seen the bruises and the scars, I don't want you to worry about old things like that," Dan sighed out, ashamed of his body and what Phil had seen.

     "I'd rather know now than inevitably find out later."

     "That's true."

     Suddenly there was a knock on the door and it began to open. Dan shot up, trying to look as though he was not just wrapped in Phil's arms in fear that it might be his mum. Phil moved after Dan, grabbing onto his arm to slow Dan's movement. Phil's mu was in the doorway. Phil sat up fully and moved next to Dan, now fully sitting up as well. 

     "She knows Dan," Phil said calmly, to comfort Dan's anxiety. 

     "She does?"

     "Yes."

     "And she is okay with it?"

     "Absolutely, I have never seen Phil happier apart from when he is with you, you two have something very special," Phil's mum said smiling, prompting a smile from Dan as well.

     "Thanks mum," Phil and Dan said in unison before laughing.

     "I just wanted to make sure Dan was okay, and to see if you would like me to help with any of the bruises or scratches. Did you get some on your stomach? Would you like me to help?" Phil's mum asked.

     Dan didn't want to show her his stomach, so he frantically eyed Phil and Phil said, "I think he is fine, maybe you could help him with the bruises on his face?"

     "Of course, come Dan, lets get you all fixed up," She said with a smile, prompting them to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, it is pretty long, so that's one thing you know? Also I am posting this at 8 pm so a lot of people probably won't see it or read it, but for those who are subscribed or however it works, should get a notification, so yeah, I just wanted to get this chapter up because I feel SOOO bad about all the long breaks in between updates. For those who have been here since the beginning and are being patient, I thank you so much, and for those who are new, welcome, your support is very heart warming. Tell me what you thought!


	18. Hoping He'll Be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long, trust me, I have wanted to get this chapter written for a LONG time. If you are interested in knowing what has been going on, then check the notes at the end of the chapter! Thanks for your patience!   
> (Also please don't mind any grammar or word mistake in here, I typed it up fast and had no time to really thoroughly correct it since it is getting late over here. Thanks for understanding!)

**Phil's POV**

 

Dan sat on the counter of the bathroom before Phil and his mum, Dan looked small and innocent to Phil, the way children look when they scrape a knee. Phil stood next to Dan, letting Dan lay his head down on his shoulder. Dan looked tired, eyes still puffy and blood shot from earlier. 

     Phil's mum dabbed vitamin E oil onto Dan's scraped hands and knees, then proceeded to use over the counter Arnica cream, rubbing it lightly and carefully onto the bruises forming on Dan's light face. Dan winced slightly as Phil's mum rubbed the gel like cream on Dan's cheeks. Phil squeezed Dan's hand to make sure Dan knew he was there. Phil didn't like seeing Dan in pain, but he knew in the end his mum's remedies would help Dan to heal faster. 

     "It's okay Dan, this will help you're bruises to clear up, it has anti-inflammatory purposes," Phil's mum said with a smile.

     Phil's mum reached into the medicine cabinet that was hanging on the wall next to Dan. She grabbed out a bottle of pain killers, taking out two small pills after opening it. 

     "I'll be right back, I've got to go grab you some water," Phil's mum said, turning and exiting the bathroom.

     Phil crossed around to stand in front of Dan, still holding onto his hand. Dan smiled, looking into Phil's eyes, and Phil smiled back, intoxicated by Dan's nebula eyes, and the dimple that showed through on his left cheek when his lips were curled upward. 

     "Are you feeling better," Phil asked.

     "I will be once I everything starts to kick in," Dan sighed.

     "You're gonna come lay down once mum gets back up here with the water," Phil commanded as Dan yawned, showing how emotionally drained he was from the previous events of the day. 

     Phil could see the discoloration that had been forming on Dan's face, and even though he knew the cream would help, it still infuriated him to know that Chris had done this to one the one person Phil loved, the one person Phil would do absolutely anything to protect, yet he was too comfortable in his own school to believe this ever could have happened. He shouldn't have been, it was his fault, he should have gone to Dan's class, he should have went looking for Dan when he was late. Phil knew he shouldn't have gotten comfortable, he should have known Chris would pull something like this. 

     Despite it all, despite how much Phil wanted to hunt down Chris and his friends, he knew Dan did not want such a thing to happen, and Phil would respect Dan's choice. Dan still had a faint smile left over from before, and Phil focused on that, the slight curl of his lips and the crinkle in his eyes, revealing he was content, yet also tired.

     "Dan, after my mum leaves again, do you think I... or you, could put some of the cream on your stomach, to see if it will help a bit?" Phil said, trying to be polite with such a tough subject for Dan.

     Dan's face showed discomfort and he shifted on the counter, but after a few seconds he responded with a slight, "I guess."

     "Great... I just hate seeing you in pain Dan," Phil said, lightly squeezing Dan's hand once more.

     "I know, and I guess you have already seen it all anyway, I'm sure it won't look much worse now," Dan said in a monotone voice, obviously not happy about revealing his stomach, but Phil was glad Dan trusted him enough to allow it anyway.

     "I hope not," Phil said, leaning up to kiss Dan slightly, before pulling away, hearing footsteps on the stairs.

     Dan smiled, Phil moved back over to the side of Dan and readjusted his grip on Dan's hand, smiling himself. He leaned his head onto Dan's slightly higher shoulder as his mum walked in with a glass of water. She picked up the painkillers from the counter and handed them to Dan. With the painkillers in his mouth, Dan took the water from Phil's mum and took a long drink to get them down. he set the glass down on the counter and Phil's mum smiled.

     "I hope that helps, I'll be going downstairs now, I will see you boys in a bit," she said with a wave as she turned out the door.

     Phil returned to his position in front of Dan and looked up to Dan so he could meet his eyes. In a knowing way, Dan nodded and Phil gave a reassuring smile to Dan's frantic facials. Phil finally let go of Dan's hand, moving both of his hands to the hem of Dan's jumper. Slowly, not breaking eye contact with Dan, Phil lifted Dan's jumper. Once he got it up as far as he knew Dan was comfortable with, based on Dan's facials, he stopped and Dan moved his hands so that he could hold onto the shirt. 

     It was then that Phil finally allowed himself to look down, he braced himself, and took in the sights of green and yellow and dark blackish-purple bruises sprinted across Dan's stomach. Most were light, yellow and green tones, but a few looked fresher, those from today, beginning to turn into the dark purple color that would surely be painful in the morning.

     Phil gently rubs Dan's stomach and asked, "Does this hurt at all?"

     Dan shook his head and bit his lip. Phil proceeded to grab the cream his mother had used off the counter, turning the top to open it, like you would a jar of peanut butter. He lightly dug his fingers through it's contents, picking up some on the tips of his fingers as he went, and set the container down. He rubbed his hand together slightly, them proceeded to place his hands gently back onto Dan's delicate, light stomach.   

     Phil carefully and slowly rubbed the cream into Dan's skin as Dan watched, tension obvious in his tight muscles. Phil knew Dan had insecurities about his stomach, it had come up on multiple occasions, so Phil tried to work as quickly as possible, without hurting Dan. 

     When Phil finally finished, he removed his hands from Dan and moved them to the skin to wash them off, and while he washed them off, Dan let his jumper fall back down to his waist. Phil dried his hands and went to plant a quick kiss on Dan's lips.

     "Thank you for letting me do that," he whispered to Dan.

     He saw a faint blush on Dan's cheeks and smiled. He reached out to help Dan from the counter, and once he was down, they walked to Phil's room side by side. Phil directed Dan to his bed, giving Dan no time to delay his much needed rest. Dan climbed into Phil's bed and Phil sat on the floor next to him, watching as Dan sunk under the blankets and cuddled his head into the pillow, returning his gaze to Phil afterwards. Phil noted how peaceful and content Dan looked, Dan looked at home, and his eyes said it all. 

     "You look sleepy, also adorable all cuddled up in my bed," Phil giggled.

     "Oh shut up you spork, if you want me to get any rest, then you better not be planning on staying on that floor," Dan joked, causing Phil to smile even more.

     Dan moved over so there was room for Phil on the bed and Phil climbed in next to Dan. Once Phil was situated, he felt Dan move back over, pressing closer to Phil. 

     "Rest now, you have had a rough day," Phil whispered, running one hand through Dan's hair, leaving the other tangled in Dan's hands.

     Dan muttered a light, "Mm hmm," in response and closed his eyes.

     Phil laid there, feeling as Dan's breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed into the peaceful retreat of sleep. Dan's plump lips parted slightly as he slept, and his curly hair was ruffled from Phil running his fingers through it. Phil just smiled down at the relaxed Dan that lay next to him, enjoying the peace it brought him to know Dan was safe. 

 

**Dan's POV**

 

***

     Dan took a deep breath and opened his eyes, he was in a dark room, an empty room. It had no walls, the dark, empty nothingness went on forever from what he could see. He was missing the calm warmth that he had fallen asleep next to in this room and his breathing picked up it's speed. 

     The only thing Dan could hear was his breathing in fact, it was loud and echoed though the abyss that he was standing in, slow and deep at first, progressively becoming louder as it quickened. Dan looked around but failed to see anything. He crouched and brushed his hand against the floor, but it revealed nothing of where he was. Standing up, Dan began to walk aimlessly in who knows what direction. The more he walked the louder his breathing became, like his ears were progressively becoming more sensitive.

     Dan just kept walking, he walked for what felt like an eternity before he started to see light forming around him. He didn't know whether he should be walking closer to this light, but he was tired of aimlessly walking and believed this would be better than continuing to stroll along in this purgatory. As he got closer the light became more blinding and Dan had to squint his eyes to continue to see. He could tell that there was walls forming around him and he could hear footsteps in front of him, till suddenly the room was all white, shinning with a blinding light that caused Dan to close his eyes.

     He rubbed his eyes and opened them, and when he did, he was home, not his house now, but his old one. He was standing in the living room, atop the a bright orange carpet they once owned. Dan turned to spot the mirror that once hung on the wall to his left. To his surprise it was still hanging there. What Dan saw staring back through the window was not what he had expected though, because he expected to see him as he was now, instead a boy stared back at him. The boy had brown curly hair, and the amber eyes Dan only recognized as his own. The boy, Dan, had tears rolling down his face, Dan wanted to comfort the child, but couldn't, as he was this child.

     Dan studied the image in the mirror, trying to make sense of the situation. Dan looked as though he was 10, he wore knee length cargo shorts and a bright blue jumper. Dan looked fondly at the jumper, fond memorize of how this very jumper used to be his favorite. He had owned it since before he could remember, and wore it all the time, that was till...

     Suddenly he froze, he couldn't control the body he was residing in anymore and he heard the loud footsteps from before return, till a man was standing only 2 feet away from him. 

     Dan was now looking down at his feet, tears beginning to roll once more, and no matter what Dan did, he couldn't do anything to move, to run, to scream. 

     "Look at me, you bitch!" an all too familiar voice yelled, "You think you can just break a glass and get away with it you little useless shit?"

     "I-it was an a-accident," he felt himself mumble.

      "What was that bitch! You little twat, I don't wan't to hear another word from you! You break my hard earned property, you pay for it!" the man yelled.

     Dan didn't respond, he just kept looking down till he felt his chin grabbed and forced upwards, "LOOK AT ME!" 

     Dan was faced with the one thing he never wanted to see again, the pure face of deadly anger that was his father.

     "Dad... please... it was a-" Dan muttered.

     He was cut off by a hard punch to the face.

     "I thought I made it very clear I didn't want to hear a word from you! Take your punishment and stop fighting back!" his father yelled.

     Dan cried, he whimpered and he cried as he was pushed to the floor by the large and forceful hands of his father. His father stared him in the eye before grabbing his jumper... his favorite jumper... and forcefully ripping it right of Dan's torso, leaving nothing but a bare chest.

     "You pathetic little bitch, what are these?" His father yelled, pointing to all the bruises that littered his stomach.

     "Actually, don't answer that, I know exactly what they are. It's those boys at school again huh? You know, if you weren't such a pathetic fag that wore bright blue jumpers and couldn't defend himself because he's too weak, those boys wouldn't beat the living crap out of you! You know what? Just for that I'm gonna hurt you even more than they could ever."

     Dan felt helpless, he was unable to move, unable to yell, he was at the mercy of his father once again and he couldn't even stop it. He felt his father's large fist pierce his rib cage, sending jolts of pain all through his body. Dan tried and tried to scream, to help his for, ten year old body, but couldn't. There were more jabs to his stomach, it felt like it would never stop, till, by some act of god Dan took his arm and swung a punch at his father. 

     With his father off guard, he stumbled to his feet and tried to run towards to door. Everything became slow motion. Dan's breathing was loud, echoing through his ears once more, his father's screams had become silent. He ran, but it was slow, too slow, and he couldn't move faster. Everything was slow till he felt a hand on the back of his neck. Suddenly all the noises came back to the world and he was viciously being pushed towards the door. When his face smacked against the door, he felt his body be spun, till he was facing his father once again. 

     His father's hand was now pressed hard against his throat, lifting him off the ground. He suddenly could not breathe. He was panicking, trying so hard to find some way to breathe, some way to get his Father away from him.

     He eye sight started to fade and the world around him was becoming black.

     He heard shouting from a familiar voice in his head, "Dan!"

     It was faint at first, but became louder, and louder, and louder, till...

     "DAN!" 

     And everything went black, the hand let go of his throat and he started falling.

     ***

     Dan took in a huge breath. He was sweaty and hot, and his breathing was heavy. He put his hand to his throat, that still had the ghostly feel of a hand wrapped around it.

     He felt a pair of hands on him that gripped him tightly. His eyes, that were now open, were blinking to adjust to the light around him, till he could finally make out the figure of a boy. His eyes cleared up and he could now see the tall, raven haired boy staring worryingly at him. The boy's aquamarine eyes were focused intently on Dan and Dan felt the memories of where he was flooding back to him. 

     Phil suddenly pulled Dan into a hug and Dan felt his breathing calm down with the warmth of safety that flushed over him as the boy's long arms wrapped around him.

     "Are you okay, Dan? What happened? One moment you were sleeping peacefully, the next, you are sweating and flailing around, whimpering and crying. I was so worried." 

     Dan sighed, relieved to be in Phil's arms after a dream like that... dream. To Dan it had felt like so much more than a dream, he could feel the punches, and panic, and pain, like an all too familiar memory. 

     "I'm fine," Dan said, which wasn't entirely a lie, now that he was awake and responsive he felt much better, but he was still shaken, and surely he was not okay while the whole dream was happening. 

     "But, Dan, what happened?" Phil asked.

     "Nightmare I suppose," Dan shrugged.

     "Are you sure you are okay?"

     "I am now that I am with you, and not in that dream."

     Dan didn't feel like explaining the dream right now, the dream that brought back too many harsh memories. He was happy now, with Phil, he didn't want to think of those moments right now. Phil didn't question it anymore, and Dan was grateful, he would talk to Phil more about his past later, but right now, he just didn't really feel up to it. 

     "Well I'm glad you feel alright now," Phil said, breaking from the embrace to lay a kiss onto Dan's lips. They lingered with the kiss for a few more seconds before they both pulled away to take a breath. 

     Dan ran his fingers through his hair, that was sticky and damp with sweat and laid, flat against his forehead. He pulled out his phone and checked it to see he had gotten 2 messages from his mum.

 

 **Mum:** You aren't home, of course, you are probably at that fag's house. Whatever though you little twat

 **Mum:** You can stay wherever the hell you are right now because I'm going out tonight, and I'm not gonna be back till tomorrow, don't do anything stupid.

 

     Dan didn't know what to think. He didn't expect this when he saw he had messages from his mum, he expected to be yelled at. He looked up at Phil, who had obviously been looking at him before Dan had looked up. Dan smiled at Phil and saw as Phil's lips curled up into a smile as well.

     "What?" Phil asked.

     "Mum's going out tonight, she told me to just stay here, if, that is, it's fine with you and you're parents."

     Phil's eyes lit up at that and he threw his arms around Dan, "Are you kidding? Of course it's fine!"

     "You sure?'

     "Positive!"

     Dan pulled from Phil's hug and looked down at his phone, typing out a response.

 

 **Dan:** Alright, see you tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! So I hope you like this chapter, I really wanted to reveal the next big plot point in this chapter (party, ice skating, getting together, bullies... etc.) but it just didn't fit, I promise you the next chapter is going to be a good one, and I will try and get it up soon. So if any of you are wondering why I have been so inactive, it is because, not only do I have homework from my dumb AP classes, as well as dance and soccer (which I have talked about), I recently was cast as the lead in this years fall show at my school so I have about 220 lines to memorize, plus practice almost every day till nearly 5. This show will be over at the beginning of October, and soon after that, so will soccer, then I will have SO much more time to work on this. Thank you for understanding, and I hope you all stick with the story! I have a lot planned for it from here!


	19. Hoping To Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it has been a long time, sorry guys, hard week last week, I tried to get this up as fast as possible. I really like this chapter because it was so fun to write, I hope you enjoy! (Oh and again, sorry about grammar, I don't have a lot of time, so I did the best I could, but it would take me another day to ave time to read through it thoroughly, I'm truly sorry.)

**Phil's POV**

 

Dan had just responded to his mum's text, turned his phone off, and set it on the nightstand closest to him, and Phil watched Dan's every move intently. Dan then let his eyes fall back in line with Phil's, and Phil's heart fluttered with the eye contact. Dan gave Phil and slight smirk that definitely made Phil's face go pink, but he didn't mind it, shooting a smile back towards Dan. Dan moved in closer so that his knees rested over Phil's thighs, leaning in to wrap his arms around Phil. Phil followed Dan's lead, leaning into the embrace as well. 

     They sat like that for a few minutes before Phil leaned out and put a hand under Dan's chin, directing Dan inwards so that he could kiss the brown haired boy. He let himself melt into the warm touch of Dan's lips before pulling out to whisper, "I should probably go down to tell my mum you are staying for dinner, and in turn, the night."

     Dan gave a slight pout, but Phil just planted a light kiss on his lips and moved to get up, "Don't give me that look," Phil laughed.

     Dan laughed as well, and looked as though he was going to try and get up.

     "Oh no you don't, you lay back down, I'll be back up here in a minute don't worry," he forced.

     He heard Dan groan, but he just smiled, turning and walking out the door of his room. Phil followed the familiar path to get downstairs, where he would proceed to the kitchen. He smelt food, so he knew his mum was bound to be in there. 

     "Mum?" Phil asked as he approached the kitchen.

     He entered and she turned around to face him, "What is it Philly? Is Dan alright?"

     "Oh, yes, he's fine, I just wanted to say, and I'm sure you're fine with it, but his mum said she was going out tonight. She told him to just stay here, I just was gonna as-"

     "Dan is totally fine to save over tonight, there will be extra pasta and everything for him to have once I am done with dinner," She said with a smile.

     "Great! Thanks mum!" Phil said, sighing in relief, he really didn't want to send Dan home to sleep in his house alone. 

     Phil turned on his heels and made a B-line back to his room, knowing his mum would say yes, but still silently rejoicing that Dan would stay the night. After he ascended the stairs and made his way back to his room, he lets his eyes return to Dan, who was laying his head back down on Phil's pillow, staring right back up at Phil. 

      "What did she say?" Dan asked.

      "She said of course, you and I both knew she would. Dinner will be in a little bit," Phil said, walking over so he could sit on the edge of the bed next to Dan.

      "Yeah, well good news is I do feel better, and I don't seem to be bruising all too bad" Dan said.

      "That's great, all I want is for you to be in a little pain as possible," Phil said leaning in to kiss Dan. 

      Their lips pressed together, it was warm and calm and everything just felt right in that moment. Phil knew he had to be the luckiest person alive in that very moment, to have someone as amazing as Dan. To have Dan's plump and soft lips against his, and to know that this feeling of fireworks and home were mutual between the two. Phil was sometimes amazed at just how well they went together, how their relationship was perfect in every way. Dan was Phil's best friend, they immediately hit it off upon meeting each other, yet they were also so genuinely in love with each other. So many people Phil knew were in relationship's just based on physical attraction, they were all just in it for the sex, but not them, they both wanted nothing more than to make the other happy, then to just be beside forever, with whatever that came with. Phil knew he could wait a million years to ever have sex with Dan if it mean't he could always be by Dan's side.

     They broke the kiss to take a breath and Dan laid his head back down on the pillow, after lifting it up to connect with Phil's lips.

     "Want to play some Mario Kart before dinner? At least you can keep laying down while we do that," Phil said with a smile.

     "Sounds perfect," Dan said, eyes squinting into a smile where his dimple showed through. 

      Phil got up to set up his switch while Dan turned himself around so that he was laying on his stomach facing the telly. Phil turned the telly on and put it to the switch so that he and Dan could play, he set up Mario Kart 8 and handed Dan a remote. When it was all set up, Phil returned to the bed to lay next to Dan, where he proceeded to set up a race. 

     Phil sat closely pressed up against Dan in the bed as they selected characters to play as, Phil couldn't help but sit so close to Dan as Phil found comfort in Dan being close to him. 

     After playing three tournaments, all three of which Dan won, Phil swore Dan had to be the king of Mario Kart, they were called down to dinner. Phil got up and turned off the switch and telly and proceeded to help Dan up off the bed, slowly, so that Dan would not fall from a rush of a lightheaded feeling. They went down the stairs and sat in their usual spots at the table. Phil's mum served them all and they began eating, chatting about their days, asking Dan how he was doing, and talking about their relationship. 

     "So, when did you realize you liked Phil?" Phil's dad asked Dan.

     "Oh- uh- well, I don't know, I mean when I first saw him at school the first day I obviously thought he was gorgeous, who wouldn't. Then when he spoke, he wasn't like all the cliche popular guys you meet, he was dorky and a nerd-" Dan said.

     "Hey!" Phil cut him off.

     "What? It's endearing," Dan laughed, "And then we got closer and I think it had always been there, it just grew stronger as we got closer." 

     "That's amazing, you two really are something special, I wish I had met your mum in secondary school, her and I got on very well like you two did, it would have been nice to have a few extra years with her," Phil's Dad explained. 

     After they all finished eating and cleaned up, Phil led Dan back up to his room, saying good night to his mum right before. When they were up the stairs and into Phil's room, Dan sat on Phil's bed and Phil closed his door. 

     "Do you want to borrow some pajamas?" Phil asked.

      "Sure, if that's not a problem," Dan responded.

      "Of course it's not a problem Dan," Phil said walking to his dresser to grab some bottoms and a t-shirt for them both, "Here, the bottoms may be a bit big, but they fit last time, I'm sure it won't be a problem."

      Dan held the clothes that Phil had given to him and sat up, "I'll go change in the bathroom."

      "Why? It's not like your chest and boxers are something I haven't seen before. You can just change in the corner, I won't look, so don't worry," Phil said with a laugh hoping to reassure Dan that he wasn't trying to be creepy. 

     "Alright," Dan said meekly, proceeding to the opposite corner of the room.

      After they had both changed, they proceeded to sit and Phil's bed, just talking to pass the time. 

      "Hey, so you know how Crystal mentioned asked me to a dance?" Phil asked.

      "Yeah,"

      "Well the dance she was talking about is our Fall Formal, it's on Friday- I didn't... uh... know if you knew about it," 

      "Oh- I didn't," Dan said.

      "Yeah, I just, thought you should know, I didn't know if you planned on going," Phil said awkwardly.

      He didn't know what he was doing, he wanted to go to the dance with Dan, but knew Dan would say no because he wanted to keep their relationship secret. 

      "Well, I mean I would only want to go with you, but we can't really do that, people would find out you know?"

      "Yeah I suppose. How about we just hang out here Friday, just me and you," Phil said, slightly disappointed Dan didn't want to go, but still more than happy to spend time with Dan.

     "That sounds great," Dan responded and that was that.

     The two talked for a while, scrolled through Twitter and Tumblr till they were both tired. They got ready for bed, brushing their teeth, Phil took out his contacts, and climbing back into bed. Dan laid to the right of Phil, they laid close to each other in the dark. Phil leaned in and planted a kiss on Dan's forehead.

     "I love you," he whispered.

     "I love you too."

     Dan leaned up to connect their lips and they stayed, moving their lips naturally with the kiss till they both decided it best to break it and get some sleep. Dan curled up in Phil's arms and they both drifted quickly to sleep.

 

***

 

     "Good morning lovely," Phil said, kissing Dan's forehead and watching Dan's eyes blink awake at the sound of an alarm going off on his phone. 

     "Morning" Dan said groggily.

     He rolled over to silence his phone before collapsing back onto the bed. Phil had become accustomed to early rising recently, even though he was usually a night owl, so Phil had been up for the last 30 minutes and was completely dressed and ready to go. He didn't feel like disturbing Dan, and decided to let him sleep till Dan's alarm inevitably went off, but it was clear now that Dan still didn't want to get up.

     "Come on  _bear_ , lets get up" Phil said, grabbing Dan's arms to pull him up.

     "I'm not a bear," Dan said, getting up at Phil's pulls.

     "You sure are one in the morning," Phil said with a giggle.

     "Ugh!"

     "Oh come on bear, get up," Phil said and Dan finally stood up off the bed.

     "Oh yeah, am I just wearing the clothes I wore yesterday?" Dan asked.

     "Oh yeah, here you can borrow some of my clothes, I'm sure we are pretty much the same size, you can just give them back tomorrow or something," Phil said.

     "You aren't going to have me wear some bright red shirt are you? Because you know that your clothes aren't quite my style," Dan said.

     Phil giggled, walking to his dresser to get out a pair of plain black skinny jeans and digging for a black jumper he rarely wore, "Here you go you're Majesty, I'm sure this is right up your alley."

     "A  _black_ jumper? Didn't think of you as one to own such a thing," Dan joked.

     "Hey, I went through my phases!"

     "Yeah yeah, I'll go over and freshen up in the bathroom," Dan said proceeding to the door.

     "Alright, you might have to cuff the pants and bit, they might be a bit long on you," Phil said and Dan nodded.

     When Dan got back his hair was combed through and less all over the place, becoming his tame curls that sat atop his head, and he was dressed in Phil's clothes. He looked adorable with the long jeans cuffed and in the black jumper that hadn't seen the light of day in years.Phil couldn't help but blush slightly at the sight.

     "Why Phil I don't think you are getting this jumper back, I quite like it," Dan laughed.

     "Keep it, I don't mind. You look good in it," Phil said, kissing Dan briefly. 

     "No Phil, I didn't mean-"

     "Keep it."

      The two finished getting ready and went downstairs with their bags. There was cereal and milk out on the table and they both poured themselves a bowl and began eating. They both ate pretty fast and in comfortable silence before it was about time to leave. 

     Phil stood up and took his and Dan's bowls to the sink, rinsing them out there. He grabbed his bag and helped Dan up from his seat and they made their way to the garage door when Phil yelled, "We're off for school!"

     "Alright sweeties, I'll see you later," Phil's mum said from the living room.

     Phil opened the garage door and walked past the gap that usually held his father's car when he was home, to get to his car. He unlocked it and waited for Dan to get in, before getting in himself and starting the car. The garage door opened and Phil pulled out to the street. With Muse playing quietly in the background, and Dan sitting contently on his phone, Phil concentrated on the road and getting to the school. 

     They began to pull into the student parking lot of the school, where Phil parked his car in his usual spot and turned to face Dan.

     "Ah, new day. You ready for first?" Phil asked.

     "It'll just be boring like always, I would much rather be wrapped in your arms in pajamas right now," Dan responded, making Phil's chest flutter.

     "I wish I could kiss you right now, but I'm sure someone would be bound to see," Phil said longingly.

     "We can survive," Dan said reassuringly with a smile.

     They got out of the car and grabbed their bags, beginning the torturous walk up to the large doors at the front of the school. Entering those meant entering the place where Dan had been hurt the day prior, but  Phil wouldn't leave Dan's side all day without knowing he was safe. He hoped Dan found some comfort in Phil's presence beside him.

     As they approached the doors Phil turned to Dan and asked, "Are you okay? We can always leave if you aren't comfor-" 

     "I'm fine Phil, It's fine," Dan reassured.

     They opened the doors to the noisy, teenage filled hallways and made their way to their lockers. Phil opened his to put his bag inside and grab out what he needed for his first period of the day before closing it. Dan was still in his locker, fiddling with the zippers of his bag. Dan's face was focused, his eyebrows scrunched down just slightly and his lips moved into a slight frown. Phil wanted nothing more than to put his hands around Dan's waist and hold him close, but he couldn't, so Phil just leaned against the closed lockers and smiled at Dan.

     Dan finished what he was doing and closed his locker a few minutes after the bell to alert everyone to go to class rang. 

     "You don't have to walk me to and from class you know?" Dan said.

     "Nope, we made a deal, and doing this calms me down, since 'll know you are safe, so remember, you have to wait for me inside your class till I get here," Phil said.

     "Phillll!" Dan groaned.

     "It's that or the other option, you choose," Phil said.

     "I suppose I'll wait," Dan said.

     "Good!" Phil responded, with a cheesy smile.

     Dan rolled his eyes, but smiled, as they continued walking. They made it to Dan's classroom and Phil waved goodbye and headed off to his class, content knowing Dan was safely sitting in his class.

     ***

     The next couple periods were the same, Phil rushed from his classes to pick Dan up at his and they walked to the lockers together. He got the occasional whine from Dan about how protective he was being, but Phil didn't mind.

     The morning had gone by fast and Phil was now running to Dan's class to meet him. Phil was quite out of breath by the time he got there as well, not being a strong runner himself, but he managed. Dan greeted him with a smile and they automatically began walking towards their lockers. They were there fairly quickly, since they weren't too far away in the first place. 

     "God it has been a long morning," Dan groaned.

     "What do you mean, it has gone by fairly quick for me," Phil responded.

     "Because  _you_ have all your favorite classes in the morning," Dan said.

     "True, but I am in my last year, so I have more elective periods."

     "I'm just glad it's lunch," Dan said.

     "Me too, I need to get away from all these people."

     By the end of their short conversation, the two were beginning to fiddle with their locks. Dan opened his first, putting his books away and closing it right back up again. Phil then got his opening, grabbing out a bag with some food for lunch and closing his locker. 

     Phil leaned against the locker and looked over to Dan, who was leaning against his as well.

     "You certainly look like you have had a long morning," Phil joked.

     "Thank you," Dan said sarcastically with a smirk.

     "Shall we get goi-" Phil said, before being cut off by a girl throwing herself gracefully in between the two boys.

     Once Phil was not in shock anymore, he realized the girl was actually Crystal. She had slid her way in front of Dan so that she was closely pressed in front of Phil.

     "Hey Philly, how has your day been," Crystal said ignorantly.

     "Excuse, but I was kind of speaking to Dan already," Phil said, trying to stay polite, though he was furious on the inside that Crystal even had the nerve to confront Phil after what happened to Dan yesterday.

     "Exactly, you should be thanking me for stopping this faggot from trying to infect you, I knew you probably much rather talk with me, rather than this thing," she said looking back at Dan, "Why, he looks even uglier today than normal.

     Phil had to hold back the urge to punch Crystal square in the face right then, but instead he took a breath and asked, "Excuse me?"

     "Oh never mind, besides that, I had something I needed to ask you," Crystal said, still in her fake cheery voice she never dropped.

     Phil raised an eyebrow, shooting a look at Dan.

     "Since I'm sure you don't have a date already, and I mean, who could resist someone like me. I thought I would come ask if you would take me as your date to the dance," Crystal asked, batting her eyes.

     Phil wanted to be rude, he wanted to turn her down in the meanest way he could think of, but he couldn't stoop to their level, plus, kill them with kindness is what they always say, right?

     "I'm flattered by your offer Crystal, I really am," Phil said in the poshest and fakest way he possibly could, "but, I'm afraid there is someone else I really wanted to ask."

     Crystal's smile dropped and he eyes widened in anger as she said, "What! What girl could you possibly want to go with more than me?!"

     By this time, there was a crowd forming around them all, Phil looked over at Dan, who looked equally as shocked as Crystal. Phil knew Dan didn't want anyone to know, Phil knew Dan didn't want Phil to get bullied because of Dan, but god dammit Phil was in love with Dan so much and wasn't going to sit here and let this slide. He just really hoped Dan would say yes.

     "Well, they are the most wonderful person I have ever met, and quite frankly, they are the cutest, most attractive person I have ever seen. They are so amazing, because not only are they beautiful, they also have a great personality, and a huge heart, and I am so head over heals in love with them," Phil said, pausing to stare directly into her eyes, " Oh and, that she, well that she is a he, and and he is Dan."

     Phil finished that with a smirk before whipping around to face Dan, who looked scared, but Phil could tell underneath it all was a light smile.

     "Dan... I know you didn't want anyone to know about me liking you, but I'm not afraid, I want to be open with who I am, and who I am, is in love with you. I don't care if everyone in this school turns against me, as long as I have you, that's all that matters. You are the most special person I have ever met, and I want to spend every second with you. So Dan... will you allow me the honor to take you to the fall formal as my date?" Phil finished, nervously waiting for Dan's answer. 

     It seemed like all eyes were on them, everyone was dead silent, even Crystal. Dan stared at Dan for a second, before smiling and running up to Phil. It looked as though Dan was almost about to cry. Dan ran into Phil's arms and Phil lifted him up so that his legs wrapped around Phil's waist. Dan nodded in Phil's arms.

     "Yes, I'll go with you," Dan said, "God I love you so much."

     "I love you too," Phil said.

     "No one has ever done something like that for me..." Dan said.

     Phil could hear the slight hum of cheers in the background, but none of that mattered, he had Dan and he was never letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! So I know it has been a while, but basically I had a little over half of this written a while ago but this last week has been hard on me mentally, I have been having bad days, then this weekend was soooo busy, but here I am, back with another chapter. I am so excited for this one and I hope you all liked it, tell me what you thought in the comments!


	20. Hoping It'll Work Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe it feels good to be back. This chapter is a little shorter and i'm sorry, but this chapter has taken a long time to write so I just want to get it up, the next one should be longer hopefully. I really hope you all like it and I hope you guys don't hate me for making the wait so long. More notes on why the wait was long and future upload at the bottom.

**Dan's POV**

 

     "Oh god Louise what am I supposed to do!" Dan said, whispering in an intense matter to the older blonde stood next to him in their drama classroom. 

     "Calm down Dan, please just take a deep breathe, everything will be alright," Louise said, trying to calm Dan down as he hyperventilated. 

     Dan took a deep breath and let out a long sign and began, "I want to go to the dance with him, that's why I said yes, but now everyone is going to bully him, they are going to threaten him like they do me. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, but I suppose the cat is out of the bag now! The dance is literally Friday, I have nothing to wear, it's a formal! I don't own a suit or anything! What am I going to do! We literally just agreed we wouldn't go to the dance last night, and now not only are we going to the dance, but the whole school knows we are together!"

     "Dan! Look at me, it's all okay. You didn't see the reaction the whole school had to the situation, everyone is so happy to see Crystal knocked down a peg, and quite frankly, most kids here are beyond excited to see a guy as popular as Phil, come out as being with another guy. Now here, on the topic of the dance, you said you don't have anything nice to wear, yes?" Louise asked.

     Dan took another deep breath at the information given to him by Louise, she always knows what to say to help someone stressing, and said, "Yes, I have never gone to anything fancy before." 

     "Are you busy after school?" Louise asked.

     "I suppose not, why?" Dan answered.

     "We are going shopping after school today, I'll meet to by your locker and I'll drive us to SuitSupply," Louise said.

     "No, no it's fine, I can just see if my mom will take me-" Dan added.

     "Nope, I'm taking you shopping, that's final," Louise said.

     Dan just nodded, knowing he couldn't change Louise's mind at this point. She really was a great friend, but he didn't want to be an inconvenience to her. Dan didn't know what he had been thinking when he had said yes to Phil's offer, he supposed that there was no turning back at that point, Phil had already admitted he liked him by the time he had asked him to the dance. It was all so fast, Dan was so flattered that all he could do was jump into Phil's arms, trying his hardest to ignore all the eyes that were gazing upon them, staring at them like daggers were being sent into their sides. Crystal's face when Phil had turned her down, turned to Dan, and poured his heart out for everyone to see was a thing that would resonate with Dan forever. Phil was his, and even Crystal knew it now. 

     Dan barely remembered what happened after the confession at this point, it all had been a blur. The two ignored the crowd and went to their usual spot and didn't talk much. Dan didn't know what to say, as soon as his mind had begun to work properly he began having second thoughts. It's not like he was having second thoughts about being with a caring, fair eyed masterpiece, but he wished Phil had never exposed them. Now all Dan could think about was how Phil was doing, if he was okay or not, and how his classmates were reacting to this horrendous situation. He kept trying to tell himself that Phil was fine, but he had trouble believing his own words. 

     As if the dilemma in Dan's mind couldn't get any worse, it seemed as though all eyes were on him in this class, and walking through the halls for that matter as well, some girls already looked at him distastefully after noticing how much he and Phil were around each other, but now those who knew scoffed at him in raging jealousy. Dan stood next to Louise, dispiritedly gazing into the milk chocolate wooden flooring of the classroom. Dan surly looked dis-attached to the world as he thought. 

     Dan was pulled out of his trance a few minutes later as his teacher called them to begin working on their scenes. Dan was able to distract himself at this time with the magic that came from stepping into another person's life in the scene. The world began to melt away as the lines flew out of his mouth with ease, and the movement came and went naturally. Acting was a way to help him relax no doubt, but it wasn't long till the period was over and he had to become part of this poor world again.

     Louise gave a swift wave goodbye and headed to her next class. Dan turned right to meet Phil, who had been waiting outside Dan's class, as per their agreement to keep Dan safe. They began to walk to their lockers. He tried to ignore the gazes, which he knew were coming from every direction. Some of course were good, from people who were happy for him and Phil, yet there were some that looked abhorrent. These were the looks from those who were jealous that the most popular man at the school, who had been single for years, was now taken. 

     "How was class? Did anyone... say anything?" Dan asked hesitantly. 

     For some reason Phil looked extremely calm, perfectly content with the situation, while Dan's heart was pounding with anxiety from the who ordeal. Phil looked over to Dan and smiled, weak, but promising smile.

     "Class was fine, many people don't talk to me normally, I got a few hollers my way, but nothing serious. It's mainly just looks, but I'm ignoring them, I always get looks so I'm used to it. You on the other hand aren't. I can tell you don't like it, but don't worry bear, everything is going to work out fine. Just ignore them, I know it's hard, but you'll learn. I'm happy everyone knows, now we don't have to hide. It's nice to have it off my chest. I don't know, I am just never happier than when I am with you, and I don't want to hide. I know we said we wouldn't tell, I just hope you aren't upset with me for telling." Phil said, looking relaxed till the end, where he began to look worried Dan may be upset.

     "I'm not upset, don't worry, what you did was sweet, I just don't want you to get hurt because of me."

     "Don't worry bear, I won't."

     "Thanks, I have been worrying about you all period, your mellow tone and calm words are helping... Or maybe it's just you, because you have this way of tearing the world and reality away and making things just us, with nothing to worry about. You really are magic. I'm so lucky," Dan said with a genuine smile, and it was true, he felt much better around Phil. 

     At some point in their conversation they had arrived at their bland gray lockers. They opened them like their normal routine, grabbed out their items, and headed towards Dan's last class. 

     "I'm the lucky one. I love you so much," Phil said.

     "I love you too."

 

***

 

     After his dreadful class was over Dan waited inside, slowly cleaning his things till Phil got there. Once he saw Phil's head peak in from the door, Dan picked up his items and swiftly exited the class. Phil smiled as he greeted Dan after their long hour apart. 

     "Is your mum home now or will you be staying with me again?" Phil asked.

     "Oh she's probably home by now, haven't gotten a text though, but I can always get in with my key if not."

     "Alright, well what about class?" 

     "Class was boring like usual."

     Phil giggled at that, "Sounds lovely."

     They made it to their lockers and Dan grabbed all of his stuff out of his locker, swinging his bag over his shoulder. When he closed his locker, he felt a slight pull on his arm. When he turned around, he saw Louise.

     "Sorry Phil but I've got to steal your boyfriend for a bit right now," Louise said with a cheery smile.

     "Louise?" Phil said in confusion.

     "I'm going to take Dan suit shopping, he doesn't have anything for the dance, and he wasn't very prepared to be asked a few days before the dance," Louise explained.

     "I can always take him you know," Phil said almost defensively as Dan stood between them.

     "No! It's got to be a surprise, trust me, I'll make him look all nice just for you," she answered.

     "Alright, be safe you too. Dan, text me," Phil said defeated.

     "Of course, I'll see you tomorrow," Dan said, hugging Phil before Phil gave him a quick peck on the lips.

     Dan felt Louise pull him away in impatient excitement. Dan gave Phil a reassuring look as he was pulled out the door and to the parking lot where Louise basically threw him into the car. Getting in herself, she turned to Dan and said with such genuine eagerness, "You're going to look like a prince in a fairy tale!" 

     "I am, am I?" Dan asked wittily. 

     "Of course, you have your personal stylist Louise here with you!" She said in a boastful tone and Dan just laughed along with her. 

     They drove off in a direction he should only assume was towards the suit shop she wanted to take him to. She hummed to the music in her usual cheery, high voice as she drove the busy roads into town, though it seemed like no time had passed when he heard the pleasant murmur of the car engine shut off and the sight of an elegant black shop reached Dan's gaze. 

     "Louise this place looks expensive, my mum and I don't have that much money," Dan said wearily.

     "Don't worry about it, I'm sure it isn't too expensive," Louise said getting out of the car.

     "Alright," Dan said as he met her on the pavement outside the intimidating shop. 

     Louise nudged him and said, "Hey, don't be so nervous! Let's go."

     She ushered Dan to follow him as she entered. She read signs as she went through the shop, trying to find the section that held Dan's size. Once she found it, she immediately began searching through the suits.

     "How did you know that was my size?" Dan asked, dumbfounded.

     "I'm just good with that stuff," She said with a wink, "This suit has to be absolutely perfect, not something so extreme it is ugly, but something that stands out, I want you to pop, ya know? I want you to walk in and have all eyes on you, showing everyone just how amazing you are, and how Phil is lucky to have you."

     "Louise stopp," Dan whined. 

     "What? You are, I can see it. You are an amazing actor, and amazing friend, and I'm sure an amazing boyfriend, Phil has never been this happy, trust me, I have been going to school with him for years. I have never been friends with him, but even I can tell this year his face gets brighter everyday he is with you. I want people to see that for themselves, to know what you are to him," She said as she pulled out suit after suit and held them on her arm. 

     Dan blushed, he liked that Louise noticed Phil looked happier, that's all Dan wanted, was for Phil to be happier. Dan smiled at Louise and began looking at through the rows and rows of suit jackets, button ups, slacks, and ties. She held up some options to ask my opinion, all of which looked nice the way she was styling them. After a while, with plenty of options and outfits in both of their hands, they headed to fitting rooms.

     Dan tried on his first outfit after battling Phil's skinny jeans off of him. The outfit was a white suit with a black vest and white button up, they paired it with white pants and a blue handkerchief and tie. Of course it looked alright, but bother Dan and Louise agreed the white didn't look they way they wanted on him, so he put back all the white suits and put on a plain black one, but in the end they though it was too plain. 

     After trying on plenty of others, none looking quite how Louise pictured, Dan went back to change into his clothes in defeat. As he had just gotten out of his slacks, he heard Louise outside the door.

     "Dan, I think I just found the perfect set, it was styled on a mannequin in the back of the shop, I tweaked some of the details, but I think this is the one!" She squealed in excitement, tossing it over the door so Dan could try it on. 

     Dan put on the black slacks she gave him and a white button up. He grabbed the vest, jacket, tie, and handkerchief and put it all on before looking in the mirror. He was shocked upon looking at himself. It really was a stunning suit. It fit just right, and every little detail was perfect. The vest had been a pure half matte/half metallic gold, and was absolutely stunning. The jacket was black with gold trim and white accents that was a bit long, creating a trenchcoat like look that was very much Dan's style, the handkerchief was the same gold as the vest and so was the tie. The slacks, he noticed, had the gold stitch work as well, bringing it all together into a stunning masterpiece Louise had put together for him. 

     Dan stepped out of the fitting room and turned to Louise, whose mouth fell upon as she gazed upon him.

     "What do you think?" Dan asked.

     "Perfect! Absolutely perfect! Take it off, we are getting that!" Louise said, jumping with glee.

     "Louise this is super expensive," Dan said reading price tags, his face falling from a smile to a frown, "I don't have money to pay for anything like this."

     "It's on me, don't worry," Louise said calmly.

     "What! No! Louise I can't let you do that! This is too much," Dan said.

     "It's the least I can do, I too want to see Crystal knocked down a few pegs, plus your my friend. Everyone needs at least one good suit to wear," Louise said.

     "I still can't let you do that Louise..." Dan said.

     "Shh- I'm getting it for you, that's final. Think of it as an early Christmas gift if you must," Louise said, pushing him back to the fitting room.

     Dan opened his mouth, but Louise shh'ed him once more, pushing him till he was behind the door and shut it. Dan changed back into Phil's burrowed clothes and Louise took Dan's suit to the counter and bought it.

 

**Dan:** Found a suit, hope you like it

**Phil:** Of course I will, It's you, I love you in anything you wear, you are perfect <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! So I'm posting this kinda late and when I do that ao3 doesn't like to notify people I posted... ugh it's a little irritating because I do work really hard on these, but it's alright, in the end the people who keep coming back end up reading the chapters at some point and I appreciate that. If you know anyone who reads this and might not know I posted you should hit them up and tell them to check it out. Also, yes, I know there wasn't a lot of Phil in this chapter, sorry but this was mom friend Louise and Dan time. So fun fact, my play has closed and now I actually get to come home after school and work on this way more hopefully. Now it did close over the weekend but I had a big test to study for so that's why this is up today. I do have a big dance concert next month, but hopefully I can write a lot this month and then after that it will be winter break soon and you guy better bet we are going back to the nearly every day uploads with some cute Christmas and holiday fluff! I'm excited to be back, love you all!


End file.
